Dealing with family dinner every day for the rest of your life!

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are retired and the “what’s for dinner” battle continues. For me, I prefer to have the protein portion of the meal determined early. I have an extra freezer in my basement so I have chicken breasts and thighs, ground turkey, some kind of beef and pork ((chops and tenderloin) ready to go. All of these frozen meats are pre-portioned for my usage. Leftover soup, chili or a frozen pizza is a MUST in my freezer for those days you don’t want to cook. When my kids lived in the home, I loaded up pre-cooked meatballs for a fast meal. No doubt, preparing dinner is a slog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

Breakfast for dinner means eggs and bacon, or pancakes. Not a bowl of Trix. Disgusting.

Take a deep breath….let it out…breathe in….out….youre getting very riled up about a bowl of cereal. I hope you’re ok. Try to relax….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I use meal kit services. I get 3 dinners per week in a box. I don't have to shop for ingredients or plan anything. I just click on pictures of 3 meals that look good, and a week later a box arrives with all the ingredients. It's too difficult to plan meals every night in addition to working. I use a clothing rental service for my work wardrobe for the same reason- reduce decision fatigue and outsource the care and maintenance of a wardrobe.

I tried this, but I found the portions small, and the amount of packaging waste horrific.

And they can be a lot of work to prep...I don't need to be zesting a lemon on a Wednesday night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

Builds memories? This is such a crap phrase. I have memories of my parents screaming at each other in the kitchen about dinner while my brother and I waited in another room to find out if we’d go to the diner or scrounge up eggs and toast. Breakfast for dinner is not magical,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

Breakfast for dinner means eggs and bacon, or pancakes. Not a bowl of Trix. Disgusting.

Like pasta for dinner there is no 1 menu. We rotate

Waffles
Omelettes
Scrambled eggs and bacon
French toast
Oatmeal bowl
Açaí bowl
Smoothie
And the disgusting and never fine cereal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

Builds memories? This is such a crap phrase. I have memories of my parents screaming at each other in the kitchen about dinner while my brother and I waited in another room to find out if we’d go to the diner or scrounge up eggs and toast. Breakfast for dinner is not magical,

I make it a rule to not take parenting advice from someone who hasn’t used all the resources available to them to get over their childhood trauma. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, lower your standards. It’s ok to use shortcuts. I work part-time and find it difficult to impossible to cook on work nights. Here are a few easy assembly meals:
Frozen chicken tenders (there are healthier less processed brands) and fries
Rotisserie chicken with bagged salad
Mexican bowls (microwaveable rice, precooked chicken, cheese, black beans and avocado)
Quesadillas
Or bring in pizza

+1 to these meals. We also added a weekly frittata, turkey meatballs from Trader Joes with pasta, and sheet pan anything. I had a mother's helper (a teenager from the neighborhood) that would come to my house 30 minutes before we got home and set the table, preheat the oven, start the pasta water, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have fend for yourself dinner a lot. Kids are teens.

Same. We call it “foraging.”

“Are we foraging for dinner tonight?” They love nights we forage because everyone eats what they want.

[Anonymous]

I hear you OP. I still haven't forgiven my husband for fighting me for years on trying to make this easier.

Here's what we do now (despite his complaints):
- Make leftovers so you're cooking dinner 2-3x/week
- 1x/week is takeout or going out to eat. Pizza, Chinese, or going somewhere nicer.
- Sundays I make a big batch of something - hearty soup, black beans and rice, something longer in the crock pot etc.
- Use a rice cooker and crock pot. There are heathy crock pot recipes these days.
- Get a bag or box of lettuce, grape tomatoes, shredded carrots, olives, etc. Quick things the kids can throw together to make a salad.
- Kids set the table and help as abilities allow.
- I put out salad or crudités for the kids to eat while I'm making the main course. The kids enjoy making a crudité platter. Keep baby carrots, grape tomatoes, celery, snap peas, olives, grapes, broccoli, etc. Things that don't need to be cooked and can go on the platter.
- Some quick meals are rice in the rice cooker on a timer to start then you pop salmon in the oven or tilapia in a pan on the stove when you get home. Kids are eating the aforementioned crudités or salad while you make the fish.
- Keep marinated chicken in the fridge, sliced thinly (wide but thin) so they cook quickly. Rice or quinoa in the rice cooker. Cook the chicken in a pan on the stove. The marinated chicken will last in the fridge for a few days so you can cook hot chicken each night.
- Like a pp, sometimes we just keep ingredients for a variety of meals. Cook chicken breasts or thighs to use in burritos, salads, next to rice, etc. We do this once a week as our oldest is a teen athlete and needs the protein.
- eggs, toast, fruit is a fine dinner occasionally.
- buy good bread and deli cheese and meat and have make your own sandwich night with crudité's. This saved me a lot when my husband was out of town for weeks at a time and I was alone with 3 kids.
- buy French bread, brie or other cheese, salami, grapes, olives, nuts, and dried fruit. Serve a cheese and charcuterie board. My kids think this is a complicated, fancy meal, but I can assemble it in 10 minutes.
- If you don't have time to plan, then pick up a rotisserie chicken, pouch of microwaveable rice or quinoa, and some crudités. A rotisserie chicken gets us 2 nights of meals. Once with rice and veg, and once in burritos with a salad.
- Stir fry some vegetables, add leftover rice with soy sauce and seasonings, then fry eggs to serve on top.
- When you get some time on a weekend, make batches of stuff you can freeze. Soup (add bread and salad), pasta sauce (add pasta and salad), cooked chicken (add rice and veg). Cook and freeze the time-consuming part so you can pull it out the night before to have a quick dinner the next day.

Related to this, go minimalist with stuff in your house. So much of my time is taken up managing stuff. I'm constantly purging so we have fewer toys to keep organized, only clothes we want to wear in our closets, only things we use in the kitchen, etc. Leverage the public library so you're not buying books to store for the rest of your life. Don't shop unless you really need something. Keep as little in your house as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An easier way to think of this is to ensure that you have staples in your pantry and a handful of memorized, forgiving recipes.
1) Pasta + sauce. Endless variations - spaghetti with marinara; frozen tortellini or penne with pesto (buy from Costco); linguine with frozen shrimp, lemon, and olive oil; spaghetti with fried egg and parm, etc., etc.
2) Rice + protein + veggie. If you're pressed for time, you can get frozen rice from TJs. Protein could be chicken, beef, tofu.
3) Indian simmer sauces + protein + rice or naan.
4) Burritos - use leftover rice, add beans, guac, cheese, and salsa.
5) Big salads. Look up "dense bean salad" and make a giant bowl, serve with baguette. Serve with baguette (I buy from Costco, cut up into sections, and freeze.)
6) Chili with or without meat. This freezes and heats up beautifully. You can actually serve chili with pasta (Cincinnati style) or with rice (Hawaiian style) or over a baked potato.

I do a lot of stuff like this, too. For the meals with rice, I have a rice cooker. You can get good quality rice (any kind you want) at the Asian supermarket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And there is no reason that your kids can’t handle dinner one day a week, once they are 12 or 14. Your husband could do one night and you can eat out or order out another.

NP. My kids know how to cook, but by 12 or 14, they’re never home on week nights in time to cook dinner… they’re at sports practices or other activities. I’m sure that’s true for many/most people.

OP, I know a couple who cooked meals for the whole week every Sunday.

[Anonymous]

For the rest of your life?? Your kids won’t ever move out? Dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

I agree this phrase needs to be retired. No wonder parents are so stressed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of thoughts and they may not work for you but I’ve always worked full-time, as has my husband, and our twins are 10 so I haven’t been doing this forever but it’s been a while.

- Your husband needs to help with this responsibility. There is no reason he can’t be equally in charge of food. If his work schedule doesn’t allow him to actually cook at dinner time, he can still come up with meals, place a pick up grocery order, prep stuff, etc.
- Your kids need to also take responsibility for this if they are old enough to talk. They should each come up with a dinner once a week. It is not your job to feed multiple people with no input or help. You have a job. You have other things you do. This shouldn’t be all on you.
- You don’t need to have a perfectly balanced dinner all the time. Pizza is fine. Cereal is fine. Don’t strive for perfection, it’ll drive you crazy. It may seem weird to have a banana on the side of a pasta dish but if you don’t have time to steam broccoli, it’s ok. And, gasp, if you serve a dinner that doesn’t have produce on the side, that’s also ok. No one is going to get scurvy because they didn’t have a fruit or vegetable that night.
- Make easier food. Get a rotisserie chicken instead of making one from scratch, for example. Buy pre-chopped vegetables. Do what you can to make the steps easier sometimes.
- Make dinners that allow for customization. We eat a lot of Mexican food, so every week we grill a big batch of chicken, cook peppers and onions, make guacamole, do a huge pot of rice, and make black beans (from a can, I’m not soaking them for hours or anything). From that we get multiple meals that people can customize. Burritos, fajitas, nachos, quesadillas, bowls, salads, etc. I do similar with Asian dishes - sauté vegetables, cook some chicken and often beef, buy some frozen potstickers. Then we can have stir fry, fried rice, potstickers, meatballs, noodles, etc. Depending on the sauce you want to put on, you can make it Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. That way everyone gets the flavors (I like spicy, my husband prefers salty) and consistency (one kid likes rice, the other prefers noodles) they want.

Cereal is not a fine dinner. WTF.

Oh stop, a bowl of cereal for dinner once in a while is absolutely fine. The PP didn't suggest cereal for dinner every night. Show a little grace to others and assume good intent.

Breakfast for dinner once a month should be on everyone rotation it’s fun and builds memories.

Breakfast for dinner means eggs and bacon, or pancakes. Not a bowl of Trix. Disgusting.

Like pasta for dinner there is no 1 menu. We rotate

Waffles
Omelettes
Scrambled eggs and bacon
French toast
Oatmeal bowl
Açaí bowl
Smoothie
And the disgusting and never fine cereal

Do you have little kids? If I gave my teenage son an oatmeal, açaí bowl or smoothie for ‘dinner,’ he would be hungry 10 minutes afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have this hang up. when I was a kid my father had a life threatening illness and my mother had to go back to work. We made stockable meals (3-4 days worth of dinners you could reheat in the microwave). Breakfast was fix your own cereal, lunch make your own sandwich and pack it. I've been cured from that kind of cultural conditioning disease.

+1

I get a ton of takeout when I have to work. I don't mean fast food either.