Is living in a condo considered a failure?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need better friends. Who comments on someone’s living situation like that? Ew.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We lived in a condo with a young child in the Bethesda area. A neighbor actually pulled me aside outside and said something along the lines of, “Look around, people with children do not live here. This is not an appropriate place for children.”

I was floored, it was an incredibly rude and inappropriate comment, but it was also rather true.

Having someone live directly below us who complained about every jump or ball bounce was incredibly stressful. We all felt an enormous relief when we moved into a SFH and my child could run around without fear.

DP. There are many families with children in our building. I've never had any issues whatsoever. How do people think families raise children in densly populated cities where detached homes are off limits or virtually non-existent?

High density cities have much lower fertility rates, so clearly it’s not conducive to raising children. Especially if you want more than 1 or 2 kids. There is a very strong negative correlation between density and total fertility rates.

All the papers I've seen so far look at differences in fertility and density between countries and not at the fertility between families as a function of their living situation. I also don't see how's that relevant given OPs question.

There are studies within countries and the results are similar.

COuld you provide me a link to these studies. I'm having a hard time finding them. Also, do these studies compare the fertility rates between people by living situation or they only compare cities/metropolitan areas? If it's the later, the problem might be the cost of living.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34914431/#:~:text=We%20find%20a%20robust%20association,based%2C%20and%20female%20empowerment%20variables.

Lower affordability (higher cost per Sq ft) is an unavoidable outcome of higher density. This is due to physics. The taller the building is the more concrete, steel, and structural reinforcement is needed to create a structure that will not collapse and kill the occupants in the building. Construction costs for 10 story towers are more expensive per sq. ft than shorter towers, and 20+ story buildings cost even more per sq. ft. Once a country becomes wealthy people have higher expectations and they are no longer willing to have kids unless they have what they consider sufficient living space for them. Many people will not have kids if they do not have a separate bedroom for each kid.

[Anonymous]

We lived in a condo in our mid-20's and had our first child when we lived there. We bought a SFH and lived in it for eight years, sold it, then bought another SFH.

I admit that it's really nice to not worry about noise and to have the the privacy of a SFH as well as more space for a family. That being said, I don't really like having a yard or house to maintain or clean. We don't use the yard. Some extra space is nice but this is too much space for me.

We actually plan on downsizing to a condo when the kids are both out of the house. We'll get a two bedroom so that the second can be used as a home office or a guest room (plus a room for one of our children to boomerang to if need be).

[Anonymous]

Used to be living in a house was a failure.

If you watch TV shows like the Jeffersons moving to a “deluxe apartment in the sky” and selling your house was considered rich.

Seinfeld, Friends etc. everyone rented.

The exception was vacation homes people owned but their primary was still a rental.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. What idiots are saying this to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We lived in a condo with a young child in the Bethesda area. A neighbor actually pulled me aside outside and said something along the lines of, “Look around, people with children do not live here. This is not an appropriate place for children.”

I was floored, it was an incredibly rude and inappropriate comment, but it was also rather true.

Having someone live directly below us who complained about every jump or ball bounce was incredibly stressful. We all felt an enormous relief when we moved into a SFH and my child could run around without fear.

DP. There are many families with children in our building. I've never had any issues whatsoever. How do people think families raise children in densly populated cities where detached homes are off limits or virtually non-existent?

High density cities have much lower fertility rates, so clearly it’s not conducive to raising children. Especially if you want more than 1 or 2 kids. There is a very strong negative correlation between density and total fertility rates.

All the papers I've seen so far look at differences in fertility and density between countries and not at the fertility between families as a function of their living situation. I also don't see how's that relevant given OPs question.

There are studies within countries and the results are similar.

COuld you provide me a link to these studies. I'm having a hard time finding them. Also, do these studies compare the fertility rates between people by living situation or they only compare cities/metropolitan areas? If it's the later, the problem might be the cost of living.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34914431/#:~:text=We%20find%20a%20robust%20association,based%2C%20and%20female%20empowerment%20variables.

Lower affordability (higher cost per Sq ft) is an unavoidable outcome of higher density. This is due to physics. The taller the building is the more concrete, steel, and structural reinforcement is needed to create a structure that will not collapse and kill the occupants in the building. Construction costs for 10 story towers are more expensive per sq. ft than shorter towers, and 20+ story buildings cost even more per sq. ft. Once a country becomes wealthy people have higher expectations and they are no longer willing to have kids unless they have what they consider sufficient living space for them. Many people will not have kids if they do not have a separate bedroom for each kid.

I've seen this paper before and as I mentioned, this paper doesn't seem to compare couples living in condos/apartments to those living in bigger houses. High density is also the result of higher land prices which push housing prices up. People's reluctance to have children in high density areas might be the result of high cost of living, not apartment living. In any case, this whole conversation started because someone said people should not raise children in an apartment/condo. People not wanting to to this has absolutely no bearing in whether someone should provided that someone has a proper room for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. What idiots are saying this to you?

DP. I've got comments like this from acquaintances. These are generally the same people who tell you to get married and have children regardless of how little they know about your situation.

[Anonymous]

Sharing walls is for proles. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Such a suburban American concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sharing walls is for proles. It just is.

Doesn't matter who you share your walls with if nobody bothers you and you get good value for your money.

[Anonymous]

This can’t be a real question.

[Anonymous]

No, plenty of our well off Alexandria friends are downsizing to condos in the DC area as we become empty nesters and near retirement. Condos are great for those starting out and those who don’t want the hassles of home ownership at retirement.

[Anonymous]

If I lived in a condo I would consider myself a failure. As a second or vacation home though not a big deal. But my opinion shouldn’t matter to you.

[Anonymous]

My tenant in my condo is a failure for them. I rented to them when newly married in 2018. I like them a lot.

In early 2020 a unit came up in estate sale that was pre being listed. I am on board and knew. Even though good tenants I told them about it as a good opportunity.

They were a bit nasty. I got we are buying s house in nearby fancy area we have no plans to stay in a condo.

It is 2024 they just renewed lease. Housing shot up crazy last four years and rates up.

So owners of condos not a failure. People stuck in condo rentals with kids are sadly in worse shape

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get constant comments? From who? I can't imagine ever having an opinion on this for a family member or friend.

You're in serious denial if you think friends, family, associates and colleagues don't judge you based on where you live and type of house. Especially since they don't even need to ask you to suss it out, takes about five seconds on Google. If you have kids, you don't think other parents want to know where you live and what sort of stature you have? You're dreaming.