Parents of 5th graders - let’s talk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

I have a 10th, 7th and 4th grader and the kids in my 4th graders class are way less mature than what I saw in my older kids 4th grade classrooms. Some of the kids are just out of control.
The middle and high schools had a really rough time the first couple of years after pandemic but I think things are settling down a bit.

We are at Title one schools and a lot of the kids were just left to their own devices during online learning because their parents had to work outside the house and didn't have a lot of options. My DH and I struggled to juggle everything, I don't know how single mothers working 2 jobs managed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

Just stop already.

If your kid fell behind and you are typing on social media then it's your fault.

You failed.

What do you want from this post?

Move on already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

I have a 10th, 7th and 4th grader and the kids in my 4th graders class are way less mature than what I saw in my older kids 4th grade classrooms. Some of the kids are just out of control.
The middle and high schools had a really rough time the first couple of years after pandemic but I think things are settling down a bit.

We are at Title one schools and a lot of the kids were just left to their own devices during online learning because their parents had to work outside the house and didn't have a lot of options. My DH and I struggled to juggle everything, I don't know how single mothers working 2 jobs managed it.

NP. This is what I see in my 5th grader's class compared to my older DC. And I don't have a comparison, but I suspect the same is true of my older DC too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

Yes we all see it. Some want to ignore it and say get over it but that’s impossible. Shutting down schools for part of one year and then having virtual school the entire next school year (only 4 days a week mind you) was devastating. The curriculum was pared down to bare bones and kids were on their own. Meanwhile other districts/privates were back in school earlier but FCPS couldn’t get it together. Which also meant that the year returning from virtual school was bad because they hadn’t worked out the in person kinks like other school already had. The first year back in person was rough because the kids spent too long in virtual school the year before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

Yes we all see it. Some want to ignore it and say get over it but that’s impossible. Shutting down schools for part of one year and then having virtual school the entire next school year (only 4 days a week mind you) was devastating. The curriculum was pared down to bare bones and kids were on their own. Meanwhile other districts/privates were back in school earlier but FCPS couldn’t get it together. Which also meant that the year returning from virtual school was bad because they hadn’t worked out the in person kinks like other school already had. The first year back in person was rough because the kids spent too long in virtual school the year before.

DP. I have a 5th grader and an 8th grader and, yes, they were affected by the pandemic, socially and academically.

I don't think we can blame the DMV public schools that stayed closed/virtual longer than other areas or schools though. Every school in the country, in the world, closed in March 2020. Schools reopened after that within months or a year or longer but test scores nationwide, including the DMV and including areas that reopened very quickly, are down compared to 2019 and earlier. Whether from the initial stress or brain changes caused by covid infection or screens or other reasons, something changed. Kids in the DMV are not worse than kids in Florida or Tennessee or Texas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

Yes we all see it. Some want to ignore it and say get over it but that’s impossible. Shutting down schools for part of one year and then having virtual school the entire next school year (only 4 days a week mind you) was devastating. The curriculum was pared down to bare bones and kids were on their own. Meanwhile other districts/privates were back in school earlier but FCPS couldn’t get it together. Which also meant that the year returning from virtual school was bad because they hadn’t worked out the in person kinks like other school already had. The first year back in person was rough because the kids spent too long in virtual school the year before.

We don’t want to ignore it. We just want to focus on solutions instead of just blaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

The bolded is an argument in favor of Covid having a significant impact, in my opinion. It was a major stressor event for some (but not all) parents, similar to a job loss or divorce, so heavily impacted how some people parented. And it causes many kids to be in screens much more often during the duration of school closures/hybrid schedules than they would have been otherwise -- some kids were using screens for school, entertainment, and socializing for the duration of social distancing, which for some places lasted a full year. If that happened during a key developmental time, I could see it having a long-term impact. Especially if combined with parents having their own mental health crises (these spiked during Covid).

I think my own kid weathered this ok but can understand why many kids might be struggling.

But please don’t discount the screens and lax parenting and shift from unstructured play to structured activities and sports teams being the focal point of many kids lives. And…nobody knows it their child would have had these same problems had Covid not happened. Depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, etc all existed before Covid.

I think the bolded is an under appreciated issue - not as big as chromebooks and phones, but a big part of how kids learn to interact with each other. Especially in 5th when a portion of kids are becoming very competitive in their sports and extracurriculars, there is a profound lack of cooperation and kindness. I see a lot of trash talking and whining about the ref being unfair, rather than sportsmanship and social problem solving (and they absolutely learn it from adults). The practices and events happen late at night, and are geographically distant, so kids are getting too little sleep, and too little unstructured time including time to read for pleasure.

[Anonymous]

My personal children are fine. I'm a teacher and I used ALL of the free websites that were free at that time. IXL was free, brainpop was free, Epic! Reading-free, soooo many resources were out there.

I find that parents would like to use the excuse of the lockdown for everything-lack of social skills, inability to read, do math, or regulate their emotions.

Something I share with all of my peers-you can't rely on the school to do it all. You've got to take some initiative to extend the learning at home-educational board games, puzzles, books, cooking, watching documentaries. Public, and even private schools are trying to disseminate a bunch of information to many students at a time. You've got to make it personal to help it stick.

[Anonymous]

My young for grade 4th grader has just hit his stride socially this year after virtual 1st grade. I blamed myself because we were about 6 months slower to resume indoor play-dates and other group activities than other families.

The same kid has an awful pencil grip, but his writing is legible so we have not made an issue out of it. His spelling is also very weak compared to his 1st grade brother who has been learning phonics in person. Academically he caught up in 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of you think that the lockdowns in grades 2-3 did a major number on your kids at a key developmental stage? I see it in my own child whose learning disabilities weren’t flagged until much later. I see it in my students who are more immature than typical 5th graders. I had hoped they’d equalize the further we got from distance learning but they’re still lagging.

Do you see it?

I have a 10th, 7th and 4th grader and the kids in my 4th graders class are way less mature than what I saw in my older kids 4th grade classrooms. Some of the kids are just out of control.
The middle and high schools had a really rough time the first couple of years after pandemic but I think things are settling down a bit.

We are at Title one schools and a lot of the kids were just left to their own devices during online learning because their parents had to work outside the house and didn't have a lot of options. My DH and I struggled to juggle everything, I don't know how single mothers working 2 jobs managed it.

NP. This is what I see in my 5th grader's class compared to my older DC. And I don't have a comparison, but I suspect the same is true of my older DC too.

But again, this is likely more screen culture than Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My personal children are fine. I'm a teacher and I used ALL of the free websites that were free at that time. IXL was free, brainpop was free, Epic! Reading-free, soooo many resources were out there.

I find that parents would like to use the excuse of the lockdown for everything-lack of social skills, inability to read, do math, or regulate their emotions.

Something I share with all of my peers-you can't rely on the school to do it all. You've got to take some initiative to extend the learning at home-educational board games, puzzles, books, cooking, watching documentaries. Public, and even private schools are trying to disseminate a bunch of information to many students at a time. You've got to make it personal to help it stick.

Yes but extended learning is completely different than teaching an entire school year ourselves. We rely on schools for formal teaching and that didn’t happen for at least a goddamn year, so kindly shut it. There was nothing to extend. Parents had to work while their kid went to virtual school. Half the day was wasted troubleshooting when the computer froze or the audio went out. It was a complete sh*tshow.

[Anonymous]

My 5th grader is so behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My personal children are fine. I'm a teacher and I used ALL of the free websites that were free at that time. IXL was free, brainpop was free, Epic! Reading-free, soooo many resources were out there.

I find that parents would like to use the excuse of the lockdown for everything-lack of social skills, inability to read, do math, or regulate their emotions.

Something I share with all of my peers-you can't rely on the school to do it all. You've got to take some initiative to extend the learning at home-educational board games, puzzles, books, cooking, watching documentaries. Public, and even private schools are trying to disseminate a bunch of information to many students at a time. You've got to make it personal to help it stick.

Yes but extended learning is completely different than teaching an entire school year ourselves. We rely on schools for formal teaching and that didn’t happen for at least a goddamn year, so kindly shut it. There was nothing to extend. Parents had to work while their kid went to virtual school. Half the day was wasted troubleshooting when the computer froze or the audio went out. It was a complete sh*tshow.

Come on, after a month in it wasn’t that bad. No they didn’t get exactly a full year of teaching, but it wasn’t zero: stop being dramatic. There’s plenty of wasted time during the normal school day that didn’t happen during online learning. Assemblies, patrol meetings, field trips, fire drills, extra trips to visit other classrooms to see their wax museums etc. Chat time before the bell rings, etc. They don’t get 6-7 hours of actual learning every day. No school has that.

One of my kids wasn’t engaged, and that was hard because dh and I were working too, but that doesn’t mean the teachers weren’t teaching and trying their best. There WAS education happening, whether or not your kid accessed it is a different story. It was a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC. Why are you still grousing about what didn’t happen instead of focusing on moving forward and remediating what happened with your kids. Enough with the blaming. These kids weren’t bombed in Israel/Gaza. Their houses weren’t flattened in a hurricane like Katrina. They were home and had to study online. If this pandemic happened in the 1980s, we would have lost a lot more education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like every parent who has kids with issues attributes them to the lockdown; whatever the age. I don’t see how staying at home for a year can alter every generation of kids so much. And if it was lockdown, why is it your kid and not all the kids in your kid’s grade?

I think that when we are seeing immaturity and learning difficulties across age groups it has as much to do with parenting, copious screens at home, and copious screens in school. Many parents think they’re “on” their children’s behaviors, but they aren’t. They let many many MANY things go and favor their children instead of the good of the group. If we went back to the school days before smart boards in the classroom and chromebooks in every hand, we would see better behavior. If kids weren’t handed iPhones at the store and iPads at restaurants to keep them quiet they would be better off. I don’t think it was the lockdown, I think it was the shift in parenting that came with it and that hasn’t gone back.

What’s wrong with 5th graders having their own IPhone?

Most of the kids in DD’s class have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My personal children are fine. I'm a teacher and I used ALL of the free websites that were free at that time. IXL was free, brainpop was free, Epic! Reading-free, soooo many resources were out there.

I find that parents would like to use the excuse of the lockdown for everything-lack of social skills, inability to read, do math, or regulate their emotions.

Something I share with all of my peers-you can't rely on the school to do it all. You've got to take some initiative to extend the learning at home-educational board games, puzzles, books, cooking, watching documentaries. Public, and even private schools are trying to disseminate a bunch of information to many students at a time. You've got to make it personal to help it stick.

Yes but extended learning is completely different than teaching an entire school year ourselves. We rely on schools for formal teaching and that didn’t happen for at least a goddamn year, so kindly shut it. There was nothing to extend. Parents had to work while their kid went to virtual school. Half the day was wasted troubleshooting when the computer froze or the audio went out. It was a complete sh*tshow.

Come on, after a month in it wasn’t that bad. No they didn’t get exactly a full year of teaching, but it wasn’t zero: stop being dramatic. There’s plenty of wasted time during the normal school day that didn’t happen during online learning. Assemblies, patrol meetings, field trips, fire drills, extra trips to visit other classrooms to see their wax museums etc. Chat time before the bell rings, etc. They don’t get 6-7 hours of actual learning every day. No school has that.

One of my kids wasn’t engaged, and that was hard because dh and I were working too, but that doesn’t mean the teachers weren’t teaching and trying their best. There WAS education happening, whether or not your kid accessed it is a different story. It was a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC. Why are you still grousing about what didn’t happen instead of focusing on moving forward and remediating what happened with your kids. Enough with the blaming. These kids weren’t bombed in Israel/Gaza. Their houses weren’t flattened in a hurricane like Katrina. They were home and had to study online. If this pandemic happened in the 1980s, we would have lost a lot more education.

This really varied. I can tell you that my kid got nothing from virtual learning. They let the teachers in the grade combine zoom classes so they could take turns teaching. This put my kid in virtual classes of 45-60 2nd graders. Absolutely nothing was taught. It was endless "Jake, please turn on your camera. JAKE....Jake...Jake... Henry please come back. You need to be in your seat. Henry.... Henry... Henry.... Okay, so today we're going to.... Sarah, please put down the scissors. Do not cut your hair. Sarah. Sarah...put down the scissors. That's not safe. Please put the scissors down.
That's not safe near your eyes. Please everyone go on mute while I call Sarah's adult. [Hold for 10 minutes]. Okay, is everyone here? We need everyone back to their screen. Is everyone back? I'm missing at least 20 kids. Can everyone come back now please." It was absolutely miserable and nothing was learned.

I ended up supplementing so my kid was mostly okay academically, but I know parents of kids with LD or ADHD who had a really, really hard time. Their kids would resist extra work and virtual school was a complete waste of time.