Almost 4 year-old girl poops pants 2-4 times daily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a note from your pediatrician saying she needs diapers for the time being. Daycare will have to comply. Use the diapers to make life easier for a bit while you rule out a medical issue as well. and then try PT again.

Why would private day care have to comply?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am at ends about what to do. Pre-school insists that she wear pulls ups to school. I feel like we can’t do anything on weekends because she is constantly having accidents. We have gone to the pediatrician and she said the issue is a behavior issue and not health related. She suggested sticker charts—which of course we have tried. We have tried bribing her with toys. Presently there is a Barbie in the box above the toilet that we told her she can have if she poops in the potty one time. It’s been there 3 weeks.

To be clear, she has no other developmental issues. She does not wet herself and uses the potty for peeing consistently. She can recite her name and address, the alphabet, and speaks in complete sentences.

What to do????

Stay home on a weekend an have her go completely commando. Do a social story about potty (google it), get a bunch of books from the library about going potty, let her see you go potty. If she has no problem sitting on the potty for pee, she may be afraid of stuff falling out of her body into toilet. If she speaks in complete sentences - ask her gently about it in a non-potty related casual moment. "Hey Larla, can I ask you a question? I noticed you don't want to make poop on the potty. Can you tell me what you dislike about it? " Don't try to contradict. Whatever it is, say "thank you for letting me know, now I understand it better".

Depending on what it is, you can consult with your pediatrician.

I am surprised that you did a developmental consult but didn't get this type of advice from the specialist. Did they suggest some strategies other than bribing and stickers?

[Anonymous]

New poster here and I try to comment on all the possible constipation posts I see on here. This is a super common issue and incredibly frustrating to go through! Been going through this with my almost 6yo for the past couple years. As others have said please make an appt with a pediatric GI, if nothing else, then to rule it out. Even if it's not a huge issue now, withholding can lead to significant issues down the road if unaddressed.

The pediatrician can usually feel their belly and tell if there is a large backup and tell you to try miralax but that's about it. This is not their area of expertise. The pediatric GI started my DS on ex lax, did a scan and saw a huge backup still, and kept upping the dose and got us in with a psychologist to work on the behavior piece at the same time. DS finally became regular at pooping in the potty after about 6 months and now we are trying to wean off the ex-lax.

I had him in diapers/pull ups until he fully trained around age 5. I used to have to carry 8-10 pull ups for almost a year just in case if we were going to be out for the day. It made any outings really stressful. We are very thankful to be past that stage and wish you luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I wanted to reply to report that we have had some success at home on the weekends having her were loose sweatpants with nothing underneath. I got this tip from another message board. The first day we tried this she pooped in her pants and was unhappy about it. The next day, she didn’t have any morning accidents. Around 4pm, she was visibly uncomfortable—we put her on the potty and she pooped. The next day was Monday, she returned to school in pull-ups. Everyday that week she had two poop accidents. The next weekend, we did loose sweatpants at home and she pooped in the potty once in the afternoon both days. Then Monday, back to school in pull-ups and the same pattern of pooping in her pull-up. The morale of the story seems to be, if there is something close fitting on her rear, my kid will poop in it. If not, she will use the potty. I am not sure how to progress out of the current habits given that she has to wear pull-ups to school and I don’t have the ability to take time off from work to stay home with her for an extended period. However, we are pleased that she will use the potty under some conditions that she does not seem to have a medical issue preventing her from using the potty. So small, tentative “yay” I supposed.

[Anonymous]

Ours just started potty training at 4. Using pull-ups. What's the big deal here? She not in Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

I feel certain that this is just habit/preference. Your idea of thin underwear (or even commando, if allowed at school) is a good one. If you want more assistance, contact Amy O’Malley at Good Beginnings in Falls Church (if you’re local). She’s a godsend with bowel and bladder issues. https://gbtherapy.org/bowelbladder/

[Anonymous]

Did the doctor take a stool sample to test for inflammatory bowel diseases?

[Anonymous]

This sounds a lot like constipation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I wanted to reply to report that we have had some success at home on the weekends having her were loose sweatpants with nothing underneath. I got this tip from another message board. The first day we tried this she pooped in her pants and was unhappy about it. The next day, she didn’t have any morning accidents. Around 4pm, she was visibly uncomfortable—we put her on the potty and she pooped. The next day was Monday, she returned to school in pull-ups. Everyday that week she had two poop accidents. The next weekend, we did loose sweatpants at home and she pooped in the potty once in the afternoon both days. Then Monday, back to school in pull-ups and the same pattern of pooping in her pull-up. The morale of the story seems to be, if there is something close fitting on her rear, my kid will poop in it. If not, she will use the potty. I am not sure how to progress out of the current habits given that she has to wear pull-ups to school and I don’t have the ability to take time off from work to stay home with her for an extended period. However, we are pleased that she will use the potty under some conditions that she does not seem to have a medical issue preventing her from using the potty. So small, tentative “yay” I supposed.

It’s great you’ve made progress, OP! I would suggest letting things continue as they are for a while longer — I had a different issue but I noticed that the longer we went on making things work at home, the less frequent the problems at daycare were/the lower her resistance got. And if you can get repeated weekends where she has no accidents at home, talk to daycare about wearing loose sweatpants there too. Eventually she’ll get used to pooping in the potty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours just started potty training at 4. Using pull-ups. What's the big deal here? She not in Kindergarten.

OP here: It’s great if this is fine for your family; it’s not for us. She is the only one in her class of 14 who isn’t fully pottytrained. The summer camp my older one attends and we would like to send her to requires campers to be pottytrained. It also just sucks when you are trying to do anything on the weekend or evening, suddenly smell something, and have to clean up poop. Some may say it’s just like having a baby, but somehow it’s much worse when your cleaning poop from the butt of a child (mine weights 45lbs and is as tall as our 6 year old) who speaks in full sentences, ties her own shoe laces, and can ride a bike.

[Anonymous]

Highly recommend you both watch this video - explains the behavior components of the accidents ( which can cause related to constipation and encorpresis- encorpresis just means poop accidents after a certain age). This doesn't mean she needs a gi or has some unique medical condition, though it's possible something underlies it.

[Anonymous]

https://youtu.be/SgBj7Mc_4sc?si=IC1nBe8KDdMK-tVM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I wanted to reply to report that we have had some success at home on the weekends having her were loose sweatpants with nothing underneath. I got this tip from another message board. The first day we tried this she pooped in her pants and was unhappy about it. The next day, she didn’t have any morning accidents. Around 4pm, she was visibly uncomfortable—we put her on the potty and she pooped. The next day was Monday, she returned to school in pull-ups. Everyday that week she had two poop accidents. The next weekend, we did loose sweatpants at home and she pooped in the potty once in the afternoon both days. Then Monday, back to school in pull-ups and the same pattern of pooping in her pull-up. The morale of the story seems to be, if there is something close fitting on her rear, my kid will poop in it. If not, she will use the potty. I am not sure how to progress out of the current habits given that she has to wear pull-ups to school and I don’t have the ability to take time off from work to stay home with her for an extended period. However, we are pleased that she will use the potty under some conditions that she does not seem to have a medical issue preventing her from using the potty. So small, tentative “yay” I supposed.

OP, if the day care will work with you, I would start keeping data on the times of day when she poops and then pre-emptively sending her to the bathroom to poop during those times. It may be different times than when the rest of the class is going, though, so it will be work for them. Also, what if you do the sweatpants thing always at home instead of just on weekends (also following the potty schedule you made and sending her to the bathroom, not waiting for her to initiate having to go). Finally, will the day care allow very loose pull ups? Medical supply stores might have some that feel so big on her she is less comfortable using them. Though, of course, the trade off might be a bigger mess at day care, but if they are working toward the goal of no accidents maybe they will be willing to do it.

I know you say she does not have disabilities, but I found the book The Potty Journey very helpful in setting up our potty schedule. It's for kids with autism and other disabilities but I feel like some of the techniques are sound for a lot of groups.