Is this a particularly uneducated take on food insecurity/poverty?

[Anonymous]

Beggars can't be choosers but, apparently. They are. My church has a food drive which has now turned into most of us giving $20 a month.

[Anonymous]

I am on SNAP benefits. It’s totally fine to donate whatever you would buy for yourself or whatever you have as long as it’s not past the expiration date.
Poor people will be healthier and better off without frosting on a cake or without hamburgers. And yes by all means I can buy the frosting should I decide to make a cake with frosting.
It was rude of the pantry staff to lecture you. Thank you for donating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sort of off topic, but I've seen food banks set up volunteers outside grocery stores handing out wish lists to shoppers who want to participate. I always do when I see them, and I appreciate knowing exactly what to buy.

Yes, this. TELL me exactly what is needed and I will provide to the best of my ability! But don't be nasty because I-a person who never eats or makes cake because I don't like it and allergies-didn't realize about the frosting or oil.

[Anonymous]

This is an extremely hot take from someone who grew up extremely poor. I think it's inappropriate to chastise people who donate, in part because it makes them less likely to donate in the future. And second, because being poor actually does offer skills-- incredible improvisation and problem solving skills. I'm not sure being poor *should* be comfortable. Being poor is not a safe way to live, and removing the reality of poverty and making it easy and comfortable does no long term favors for poor families. I'm not at all saying that they should be left hungry or in danger. But having to improvise or figure out how to make frosting (have you ever even been truly poor if you don't know how to make various frosting recipes from scratch?!) isn't cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am on SNAP benefits. It’s totally fine to donate whatever you would buy for yourself or whatever you have as long as it’s not past the expiration date.
Poor people will be healthier and better off without frosting on a cake or without hamburgers. And yes by all means I can buy the frosting should I decide to make a cake with frosting.
It was rude of the pantry staff to lecture you. Thank you for donating!

Wow! No burgers, no frosting for the poor! So, poor kids should get boiled lentils for their birthdays so they’ll be “healthier and better off”? Do you advocate similarly for wealthier families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit the messaging sounds like it needs some work. However, the message is 100% accurate and it is a difficult thing to discuss with people who are the donators. As evidenced by multiple statements made above the post I’m making right now.


Yes, people who are destitute and poor, can certainly eat hamburger helper on its own, and a cake mix made with no frosting. However, people who are destitute and poor are also human beings, worthy of dignity and respect. Worthy of being able to see the joy on their child’s face, when giving a cake with candles and icing and sprinkles. Being able to really satisfy a bunch of hungry tummies with a hot meal with protein.

We have no idea if or why not someone might have or not have food stamps or WIC and why they are at the food pantry.

I’m not religious but I think I’ve heard the phrase “there but for the grace of God I go” and it may fit here

And people who donate to food banks are not worthy of dignity and respect? Because the "100% accurate" statement they made was very condescending and disrespectful.
If I received that message I'd find a new place to donate, and let the more "worthy" people figure it out on their own.

+1. There are people in need everywhere, served by multiple different agencies and charities. Charities who send rude, dismissive letters like the one OP got don’t deserve donations. Plenty of other places will happily take them and distribute them without the unnecessary snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During covid I provided meals to a family every 2 weeks. I would ensure they had everything they needed to make the meal. I gave some staples at the beginning like salt, pepper, oil. I realize this is different, but I also see the perspective of the food pantry. Its hard to give out only part of the ingredients and expect everyone who is relying on free food to have the money to buy the supplemental parts.

Sigh. Yes, obviously. The issue isn’t that they’re asking for the added items to be donated. It’s the RUDENESS and cluelessness of the message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am on SNAP benefits. It’s totally fine to donate whatever you would buy for yourself or whatever you have as long as it’s not past the expiration date.
Poor people will be healthier and better off without frosting on a cake or without hamburgers. And yes by all means I can buy the frosting should I decide to make a cake with frosting.
It was rude of the pantry staff to lecture you. Thank you for donating!

Wow! No burgers, no frosting for the poor! So, poor kids should get boiled lentils for their birthdays so they’ll be “healthier and better off”? Do you advocate similarly for wealthier families?

If I got a wish list for a food pantry that was just a bunch of junk food, I wouldn't donate. A tub of icing? Pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an extremely hot take from someone who grew up extremely poor. I think it's inappropriate to chastise people who donate, in part because it makes them less likely to donate in the future. And second, because being poor actually does offer skills-- incredible improvisation and problem solving skills. I'm not sure being poor *should* be comfortable. Being poor is not a safe way to live, and removing the reality of poverty and making it easy and comfortable does no long term favors for poor families. I'm not at all saying that they should be left hungry or in danger. But having to improvise or figure out how to make frosting (have you ever even been truly poor if you don't know how to make various frosting recipes from scratch?!) isn't cruel.

No, improvising frosting “isn’t cruel”. But making a donation that needs expensive ingredients to prepare properly isn’t terribly thoughtful, and it’s clear that it least some potential donors would like to be thoughtful and donate the kinds of things that they and their own families might use — and even enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that cake mix without frosting is not helpful.

However our food bank AFAC aims to provide protein and eggs every week. They specifically state that those items along with milk are purchased from wholesalers both to be cost effective and to maintain food safety.

Only non-perishables should be donated. I cringe thinking about how my friends and I would buy cheap food for canned food drives in high school so we could “win” the contest. I insist my kids only pick items to donate that they would eat themselves and that we normally have in our household. We specifically donate a lot of name brand cereal during the school cereal drive.

Why? You can make a glaze out of powdered sugar and water. Or eat no frosting because some people don't like it anyway. I don't presume they are trying to make a specific meal out of an individual donation. If they wanted meals then, again, communication is key. Otherwise I'm presuming they sort the donations and the recipients pick what's most useful to them to supplement whatever provisions they already have, like sales such as oil, sugar, and eggs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I volunteer and donate to my local food bank. They recently sent us a somewhat terse letter telling us donors that we need to do better on fresh/frozen goods. A part of the letter read, "Your donations of hamburger helper and cake mix are useless without the items necessary to complete these dishes such as ground beef, oil and eggs. Additionally, we get lots of cake mix donations, but not many tubs of icing. This can mean the difference of a child having a birthday cake or not."

So separate of the issue of the food bank chastising donors, my question is about those who use the food from the food bank. If you can't afford food, and you get several bags weekly of food, is it unfair to think that they *can* afford to buy pantry items like oil or packaged frosting? I get that food is wildly expensive and for those in poverty, it can be prohibitively expensive to grocery shop... but seriously?

I'm asking here because I have been making a conscious effort to check my privilege. What say you on this issue?

Are you really that dense? Seriously?????? Seriously???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an extremely hot take from someone who grew up extremely poor. I think it's inappropriate to chastise people who donate, in part because it makes them less likely to donate in the future. And second, because being poor actually does offer skills-- incredible improvisation and problem solving skills. I'm not sure being poor *should* be comfortable. Being poor is not a safe way to live, and removing the reality of poverty and making it easy and comfortable does no long term favors for poor families. I'm not at all saying that they should be left hungry or in danger. But having to improvise or figure out how to make frosting (have you ever even been truly poor if you don't know how to make various frosting recipes from scratch?!) isn't cruel.

No, improvising frosting “isn’t cruel”. But making a donation that needs expensive ingredients to prepare properly isn’t terribly thoughtful, and it’s clear that it least some potential donors would like to be thoughtful and donate the kinds of things that they and their own families might use — and even enjoy.

Duncan Hines frosting-- the finest frosting Giant has to offer-- is around $2. It gets cheaper from there, if you opt for a store brand. See, I grew up poor so I know these things. Frosting isn't a show-stopper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I volunteer and donate to my local food bank. They recently sent us a somewhat terse letter telling us donors that we need to do better on fresh/frozen goods. A part of the letter read, "Your donations of hamburger helper and cake mix are useless without the items necessary to complete these dishes such as ground beef, oil and eggs. Additionally, we get lots of cake mix donations, but not many tubs of icing. This can mean the difference of a child having a birthday cake or not."

So separate of the issue of the food bank chastising donors, my question is about those who use the food from the food bank. If you can't afford food, and you get several bags weekly of food, is it unfair to think that they *can* afford to buy pantry items like oil or packaged frosting? I get that food is wildly expensive and for those in poverty, it can be prohibitively expensive to grocery shop... but seriously?

I'm asking here because I have been making a conscious effort to check my privilege. What say you on this issue?

Are you really that dense? Seriously?????? Seriously???

STFU

[Anonymous]

Eggs are back down to less than $2 a dozen where I live. You need 1 or 2 to make a cake. That leaves 10-11 eggs to eat or make other things with. That’s an incredible bargain for a great source of protein. I’m not saying it’s possible for everyone, but I think the logic of a dozen eggs being a “burden” is wrong. If someone who is hungry cannot find a use for a few eggs, they probably won’t be making a cake in the first place.

[Anonymous]

You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

Source: me, whose parents grew up poor in the city but with good values, and worked their way to upper middle class