Debating Planned C-Section v. Vaginal Birth (1st child)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that a large number of ob-gyns have planned c-sections when delivering their own kids, for the exact same reason your friend wants to.

I know an OB who studied and treated pelvic injuries from childbirth and she definitely had planned Cs!

I am personally phobic of surgery so I wouldn’t plan one for myself, but I cannot fault someone who chooses it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all of this feedback. My OB said she would schedule a C-section if I want one. Curious to hear more from women who had planned c’s on recovery time, level of pain, complications, etc.

I am not wrapped up in the “v birth” badge of honor or “natural way,” really I just want the best long term outcome for my pelvic floor and sex life after delivery.

Me, me, me. I pity your child…

I had unmedicated vaginal deliveries (they went great for me; no negative side effects for me or the kids) and I absolutely made the decision to give birth that way for me — it seemed less scary and more comfortable *for me*. The baby will be fine either way except I guess for having the benefit of a less miserable mother if she’s able to have a less traumatizing birth. Obviously you can’t control the situation entirely — bad things can happen no matter what — but forcing/encouraging someone to go through a major medical experience they’re terrified of when there’s another option they’re less terrified of is stupid and introduced unnecessary trauma. One of the best moms I know had a scheduled c section and is still glad she went with than choice just as I’m glad I went with vaginal deliveries.

[Anonymous]

Pp just stop. Your dichotomous, oversimplified line of thinking is wrong. It’s not like a mom is like, oh I want an uncomplicated vaginal birth and that’s what I will get. Nature does not work that way! Some women (like you) want that and get it. But a lot of women want that and don’t get it. Planning a vaginal birth is no guarantee to avoid a traumatic birth or a C section. Plenty of women plan for a vaginal
Birth and end up with a difficult vaginal birth and complications, and they may end up having to give birth via emergency C section, episiotomy, forceps, vacuum, under general anesthesia, etc. regardless of their plan.

Birth trauma can be experienced by anyone, regardless of how the baby comes out or how you planned to deliver. All birth is a major medical event, even if you do have an uncomplicated vaginal birth, because the potential is there for things to go wrong at any point in the process. Yes, it’s a “natural” process, and yes, for many women the birth process is straightforward, but for many women it is not and things can quickly go from
a normal situation to a major emergency in a short amount of time - shoulder dystocia, postpartum hemorrhage, preeclampsia, etc. can come on very fast. Mother Nature can be quite cruel to women and babies. I mean, plenty of women in the developing world end up with obstetric fistula because their babies get stuck and they don’t have access to a C section. Then their babies die and they are injured, permanently, and often for life. I promise you those women would have given anything for the “major medical experience” of a C section. You’re oversimplifying a complex process which can have many different outcomes for people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all of this feedback. My OB said she would schedule a C-section if I want one. Curious to hear more from women who had planned c’s on recovery time, level of pain, complications, etc.

I am not wrapped up in the “v birth” badge of honor or “natural way,” really I just want the best long term outcome for my pelvic floor and sex life after delivery.

Then don’t nurse either. You sound incredibly selfish and not worthy of being a mother.

What is the matter with you?

OP, I can't add anything to the C-Section discussion (both of mine were vaginal deliveries) but FWIW, it is really good to see an expectant mom prioritize her own health and needs. I know I'm the best version of myself--mom, wife, friend--when I take care of myself.

Wanting to have a good sex life is not selfish. Indeed, I'd say its directly linked to having a fulfilling relationship with your husband...which will only benefit your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all of this feedback. My OB said she would schedule a C-section if I want one. Curious to hear more from women who had planned c’s on recovery time, level of pain, complications, etc.

I am not wrapped up in the “v birth” badge of honor or “natural way,” really I just want the best long term outcome for my pelvic floor and sex life after delivery.

Me, me, me. I pity your child…

Statistically, c-section is safer for the baby. No issues getting stuck, twisted, etc. If we were focused exclusively on the baby's health, we'd all get c-sections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nature came up with a way to do this that is best for you and the baby. Why mess with it??
I don’t believe in using modern medicine unless absolutely necessary, because there are no free lunches in life. My best friend had C-sections and both of her kids have developmental issues. I believe here babies were taken out too early, and anyway it’s a rough way for a baby to enter the world.

The bolded is such a wild misunderstanding of evolution that I don't know where to start.
- Evolution doesn't care about individual outcomes, only species survival.
- Evolution doesn't care about parental health so long as offspring survive to reproduce.
- Humans evolved to use tools to further our survival, which means modern medicine and csections are part of our natural state.

[Anonymous]

Wow what is up with the hateful comments? I’m sorry OP that people are being vicious. You are not selfish. It’s your body and you are not harming your baby. My c section baby had an APGAR score of 9, didn’t need NICU, has no allergies, and at age 2, has only been sick twice with very mild colds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all of this feedback. My OB said she would schedule a C-section if I want one. Curious to hear more from women who had planned c’s on recovery time, level of pain, complications, etc.

I am not wrapped up in the “v birth” badge of honor or “natural way,” really I just want the best long term outcome for my pelvic floor and sex life after delivery.

Me, me, me. I pity your child…

I had unmedicated vaginal deliveries (they went great for me; no negative side effects for me or the kids) and I absolutely made the decision to give birth that way for me — it seemed less scary and more comfortable *for me*. The baby will be fine either way except I guess for having the benefit of a less miserable mother if she’s able to have a less traumatizing birth. Obviously you can’t control the situation entirely — bad things can happen no matter what — but forcing/encouraging someone to go through a major medical experience they’re terrified of when there’s another option they’re less terrified of is stupid and introduced unnecessary trauma. One of the best moms I know had a scheduled c section and is still glad she went with than choice just as I’m glad I went with vaginal deliveries.

This. Women aren’t idiots, and can assess risk and decide which they want to take. Assuming they can’t is patronizing.

[Anonymous]

OP, You'll get answers all over the place.

Me: 3 vaginal water births, quick recovery, no injuries. Others: major trauma from C. Plus everything in-between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all of this feedback. My OB said she would schedule a C-section if I want one. Curious to hear more from women who had planned c’s on recovery time, level of pain, complications, etc.

I am not wrapped up in the “v birth” badge of honor or “natural way,” really I just want the best long term outcome for my pelvic floor and sex life after delivery.

Then don’t nurse either. You sound incredibly selfish and not worthy of being a mother.

What is the matter with you?

OP, I can't add anything to the C-Section discussion (both of mine were vaginal deliveries) but FWIW, it is really good to see an expectant mom prioritize her own health and needs. I know I'm the best version of myself--mom, wife, friend--when I take care of myself.

Wanting to have a good sex life is not selfish. Indeed, I'd say its directly linked to having a fulfilling relationship with your husband...which will only benefit your kids

+100!

Everything turned out great for my vaginal delivery but if I could do it again, I'd do planned C-section. That being said, look into the insurance implications because it may be considered "elective" and not be covered. That would be my only hesitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp just stop. Your dichotomous, oversimplified line of thinking is wrong. It’s not like a mom is like, oh I want an uncomplicated vaginal birth and that’s what I will get. Nature does not work that way! Some women (like you) want that and get it. But a lot of women want that and don’t get it. Planning a vaginal birth is no guarantee to avoid a traumatic birth or a C section. Plenty of women plan for a vaginal
Birth and end up with a difficult vaginal birth and complications, and they may end up having to give birth via emergency C section, episiotomy, forceps, vacuum, under general anesthesia, etc. regardless of their plan.

Birth trauma can be experienced by anyone, regardless of how the baby comes out or how you planned to deliver. All birth is a major medical event, even if you do have an uncomplicated vaginal birth, because the potential is there for things to go wrong at any point in the process. Yes, it’s a “natural” process, and yes, for many women the birth process is straightforward, but for many women it is not and things can quickly go from
a normal situation to a major emergency in a short amount of time - shoulder dystocia, postpartum hemorrhage, preeclampsia, etc. can come on very fast. Mother Nature can be quite cruel to women and babies. I mean, plenty of women in the developing world end up with obstetric fistula because their babies get stuck and they don’t have access to a C section. Then their babies die and they are injured, permanently, and often for life. I promise you those women would have given anything for the “major medical experience” of a C section. You’re oversimplifying a complex process which can have many different outcomes for people.

Are you in therapy? If not, you should be.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP

My first was born when I was 33. Sadly, it was a horrible experience and I had a 4th degree tear which will cause issues for the rest of my life. You learn to live with them, but hard to think they could have been avoided.

My second was a planned c section - not a walk in the park, but I’d choose that every time.

As others have said, tearing this badly is less common than better outcomes. I suppose it depends on your tolerance for risk and which ones you can live with and which ones you’d rather avoid.

Try not to let the worst case scenario scare you or guide you too much. Wishing you peace with whichever way you go.

[Anonymous]

I had a scheduled C-section with my first (breech) and VBAC a for second. No clear winner or loser in terms of physical outcome for me. Immediate recovery with VBAC is easier. My C-section scar also itched for a long time ans is still itching sometimes. But something shifter down there post VBAC and that is a bit unsettling. No big deal but not perfect. I have friends with horror stories with C section and friends with horror stories with VD. All in all, I’d give a slight advantage to C-section in terms of pure impact on my body. But only because damage to my belly is less intimate than damage to my V.

In terms of outcome for baby: I would not do an elective c section. Both my kids seem eczema and allergy prone. But the VBAC kid’s eczema/ allergies is really minimal compared to the suffering of the other one.

I will never be 100% sure the vaginal delivery would have made a difference for my oldest. But statistics suggest it so I am happy the choice was not mine or I would profoundly regret it.

Bottom line: vaginal delivery wins because healthiest for baby and safest for mom in case of multiple pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

So much misinformation in your post PP. Statistically a C section is safest for the baby. The studies about asthma, allergies, and obesity and diabetes and the correlation with C sections are weak and have largely been debunked.

It’s inaccurate to say that VBAC recovery is always easier. It was easier for you. It might be easier for some people. For people who have a tough VBAC delivery, it won’t be. My friend tried a VBAC and ended up having to choose between vacuum and a C section again. She chose the vacuum and had an episiotomy and horrible tearing. Her recovery was brutal from that compared to her planned C.

Bottom line: every birth is different. Every situation is different. Every baby and mom are different. There are risks to everything. Everyone has a different experience. It’s not fair to extrapolate from an individual situation that what was easier for you will be easier for someone else.

[Anonymous]

I had a scheduled C. I was terrified of labor and had already had traumatic labor-like experiences with losses. Then my son turned high risk during my third trimester and a C Section was safer for him. He had great agpar scores and is a healthy, thriving 18 month old. My recovery was fairly easy. It's a pain to not be able to lift things and I remember it was frustrating to need to avoid too many trips up and down the stairs, but now my scar is barely visible. It was wonderful to know exactly when my son would be born. The procedure was completely calm and straightforward and as expected, overall the C Section itself was a good experience. After insurance, I paid $60 for the whole birth and hospital stay. I think recovery from a scheduled C is harder but more predictable than recovering from an average vaginal birth, and much easier than recovery from difficult vaginal birth or an emergency C. The one thing no one told me is that you will have numbness right above the incision and for some women that never goes away (I still have some) but then there are permanent changes from a vaginal birth too. I think it's a less good choice if you want more than two or three children.

I'm pregnant again and not 100% sure what I'll do this time (I have time to think about it). My choice will revolve around what feels right for me and best for my family, not on some weird DCUM troll who doesn't believe in medical intervention (that PP and I clearly value different things).

Best of luck, OP!