My name? Your name? Our name? Random name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name and kids have dad’s. I kept mine because it was annoying to change, but I answer to either.

This seems to be the most common in my area in DC. Never changed mine but don't care at all if I'm called by DH name. It would be a little weird professionally since we are completely unaligned, but socially? Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name and kids have dad’s. I kept mine because it was annoying to change, but I answer to either.

This seems to be the most common in my area in DC. Never changed mine but don't care at all if I'm called by DH name. It would be a little weird professionally since we are completely unaligned, but socially? Whatever.

+1, same situation. Kids have my last name as a middle name and we will put the full name on paperwork when that's an option, with tends to minimize any confusion. But have been called by DH/kid's last name before (especially by kids' teachers, especially when they are older) and it's fine and I don't even bother to correct. It doesn't offend me and I understand the confusion is more that I have a different last name than my kids, than that I have a different last name than my husband.

We considered hyphenating and actually have names it would be easy to hyphenate, but figured doing my last name as a middle name would give them the option to hyphenate later if they wanted, but also the option not to without offending either of us.

It wasn't some kind of power move or social statement. I just didn't want to change my name, and neither did my DH. It made sense for kids to get his name because he's an only child and it allows his family name to get passed on, whereas I have a mess of nieces and nephews with my family's name.

The only time I've ever been annoyed by someone calling me Mrs. His Last Name was right after I got married when people did that to be cute and I politely corrected them and THEY got mad at ME. I don't go around telling other people what to call themselves, I'm not going to tolerate that from other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept mine and gave my kids my DH’s, because this is the laziest option with regard to paperwork.

Same. My kids have my last name as their middle name.

I did this too. Sometimes my husband and I talk about changing our names (me taking his as a last and him taking mine as a middle) so our whole family has the same middle-last. Not sure we’ll ever get around to it.

[Anonymous]

I kept my name, so did DH, and our children are hyphenated. It has never been a problem on paperwork or otherwise. Sometimes one or another name is dropped.

Why do people care so much about the choices of other people? My choice doesn’t reflect on yours and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I changed my name and we all have the same surname. It is easiest, in my opinion. I will never judge any woman who keeps her birth name, but I do think hyphenating (if the combined surname is any longer than "Brown-Smith", etc.) is a little much, especially for kids.