Anatomy of a Scandal on netflix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Coercion is not consent” is a fantastic way to put it. PP, I’m sorry about what happened to you. It’s what you and others have said. There needs to be an affirmative yes, and if that yes changes to a no or even changes to a not-enthused, then the other person needs to stop. And part of sex Ed should be learning about different conversation styles and how/why women aren’t always comfortable just yelling “no” and screaming for help. Checking in with your sex partner all along the way is an important part of having sex.

+100

What does “checking in with your sex partner all along the way” mean?

[Anonymous]

I was very surprised by Sophie's reaction to her husband's affair. She went from shock to understanding and repair marriage mode.

Interesting interpretation of the betrayed spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was very surprised by Sophie's reaction to her husband's affair. She went from shock to understanding and repair marriage mode.

Interesting interpretation of the betrayed spouse.

Probably not an interesting interpretation in posh London circles. Or in exclusive American circles either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***SPOILERS***

I liked the series. I thought every actor was great. I think Sienna Miller is a timeless beauty. I am a woman. However, I am struggling with the way people are blatantly referring to both scenarios as rape. I think both scenarios are quite grey. I wanted there to be a definitive “no” uttered from both women but there wasn’t. It was hard to despise James because neither women uttered “no” or “stop”. And yes, in fact, Olivia did say she said not here which to me does imply “yes, I wanna bone you but not right here in the elevator.”

I am all about believing women but if we continue to put out narratives like this as being definitive rape, we are setting ourselves up for failure. I have a son and a daughter. I want my son to know about consent just as much as I want my daughter to use her voice and state definitively when she’s not comfortable in a situation. Yell loudly, “no! Stop! Rape!” So there can be no uncertainty from anyone.

While I’m on it, and expect to be flamed, I’m also unsure why James was being carted off by police at the end. Sure running away when your friend jumps to his death could “maybe” be a crime (failure to report?) but I don’t see what the charge would be, especially 20 years later with no eyewitnesses. Same goes for the Prime Minister. Again, I wanted to hate them both. The Libertine scenes screamed of images from Kavanaugh high school and college days. I just wanted it to be more black and white.

Disagree with you. If he didn't know it wasn't consensual, then why did he say what he said (the prosecutor questioned him on this which he denied)? It devolved into a 'he said, she said' which is sad and it's sadder that the jury didn't convict. Shows how misogynistic society still is.

DP. And I disagree with you and agree completely with the PP. There is no way a jury could convict someone over a he said/she said like this - especially one which started off completely consensual. You can't put someone in jail over a murky situation. That's not "misogyny," that's due process.

+1

Signed,

Lawyer

+100. Another (female) lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***SPOILERS***

I liked the series. I thought every actor was great. I think Sienna Miller is a timeless beauty. I am a woman. However, I am struggling with the way people are blatantly referring to both scenarios as rape. I think both scenarios are quite grey. I wanted there to be a definitive “no” uttered from both women but there wasn’t. It was hard to despise James because neither women uttered “no” or “stop”. And yes, in fact, Olivia did say she said not here which to me does imply “yes, I wanna bone you but not right here in the elevator.”

I am all about believing women but if we continue to put out narratives like this as being definitive rape, we are setting ourselves up for failure. I have a son and a daughter. I want my son to know about consent just as much as I want my daughter to use her voice and state definitively when she’s not comfortable in a situation. Yell loudly, “no! Stop! Rape!” So there can be no uncertainty from anyone.

While I’m on it, and expect to be flamed, I’m also unsure why James was being carted off by police at the end. Sure running away when your friend jumps to his death could “maybe” be a crime (failure to report?) but I don’t see what the charge would be, especially 20 years later with no eyewitnesses. Same goes for the Prime Minister. Again, I wanted to hate them both. The Libertine scenes screamed of images from Kavanaugh high school and college days. I just wanted it to be more black and white.

The Prime Minister bought the heroine. And James lied and coveted for him as well as disposed of the leftover heroin.

I understand. Again, 20 years ago with no witnesses. I’m sure there are statute of limitations for buying heroine and running from a scene of a crime charges (again, there would still need to be witnesses or any evidence other than hearsay). It just made the whole series unbelievable to me. It should have ended with just a tabloid publication. That’s enough scandal.

NP. I don't know UK laws, but I don't understand how the PM buying the heroine makes him criminally liable for the friend jumping off the building because he thought he could fly. Now if the friend had overdosed because the heroine was laced with fentanyl then I could see it but I don't understand why either James or the PM are liable here. I couldn't get passed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was very surprised by Sophie's reaction to her husband's affair. She went from shock to understanding and repair marriage mode.

Interesting interpretation of the betrayed spouse.

I thought that was what the scene about her getting a job was about. She was thinking through her options and realized she is totally dependent on her husband. I thought her calmness was also part of that. I don’t know UK divorce laws; I would think she would get a hefty settlement but still feels unsettled I’m sure, to know you’ve fully tied yourself to a rapist.

The Olivia case was thin; would that have even gone to court in real life? (Not saying it wasn’t rape, but in terms of the evidence needed to move forward.) The Holly incident was pretty bad and more clear cut. And that he did that the same night his friend died is pretty crazy. I imagine a person like that in real life would have numerous other rapes and situations in their history.

[Anonymous]

This show made me re-examine a sexual encounter I had in college and wonder if I had been raped by a friend. There had always been tension that spilled over into hooking up once, but when he started trying to have sex with me I said we shouldn't, but he penetrated me anyway. In that next moment I didn't scream or yell "No!" I just went along with it, and it was kind of an out of body experience. I was upset later, but I rationalized that someone who I had been friends with for years wouldn't rape me. After watching this show, I wonder if I had been raped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***SPOILERS***

I liked the series. I thought every actor was great. I think Sienna Miller is a timeless beauty. I am a woman. However, I am struggling with the way people are blatantly referring to both scenarios as rape. I think both scenarios are quite grey. I wanted there to be a definitive “no” uttered from both women but there wasn’t. It was hard to despise James because neither women uttered “no” or “stop”. And yes, in fact, Olivia did say she said not here which to me does imply “yes, I wanna bone you but not right here in the elevator.”

I am all about believing women but if we continue to put out narratives like this as being definitive rape, we are setting ourselves up for failure. I have a son and a daughter. I want my son to know about consent just as much as I want my daughter to use her voice and state definitively when she’s not comfortable in a situation. Yell loudly, “no! Stop! Rape!” So there can be no uncertainty from anyone.

While I’m on it, and expect to be flamed, I’m also unsure why James was being carted off by police at the end. Sure running away when your friend jumps to his death could “maybe” be a crime (failure to report?) but I don’t see what the charge would be, especially 20 years later with no eyewitnesses. Same goes for the Prime Minister. Again, I wanted to hate them both. The Libertine scenes screamed of images from Kavanaugh high school and college days. I just wanted it to be more black and white.

He supplied the drug that caused the death - simple.

The Prime Minister bought the heroine. And James lied and coveted for him as well as disposed of the leftover heroin.

I understand. Again, 20 years ago with no witnesses. I’m sure there are statute of limitations for buying heroine and running from a scene of a crime charges (again, there would still need to be witnesses or any evidence other than hearsay). It just made the whole series unbelievable to me. It should have ended with just a tabloid publication. That’s enough scandal.

NP. I don't know UK laws, but I don't understand how the PM buying the heroine makes him criminally liable for the friend jumping off the building because he thought he could fly. Now if the friend had overdosed because the heroine was laced with fentanyl then I could see it but I don't understand why either James or the PM are liable here. I couldn't get passed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:***SPOILERS***

I liked the series. I thought every actor was great. I think Sienna Miller is a timeless beauty. I am a woman. However, I am struggling with the way people are blatantly referring to both scenarios as rape. I think both scenarios are quite grey. I wanted there to be a definitive “no” uttered from both women but there wasn’t. It was hard to despise James because neither women uttered “no” or “stop”. And yes, in fact, Olivia did say she said not here which to me does imply “yes, I wanna bone you but not right here in the elevator.”

I am all about believing women but if we continue to put out narratives like this as being definitive rape, we are setting ourselves up for failure. I have a son and a daughter. I want my son to know about consent just as much as I want my daughter to use her voice and state definitively when she’s not comfortable in a situation. Yell loudly, “no! Stop! Rape!” So there can be no uncertainty from anyone.

While I’m on it, and expect to be flamed, I’m also unsure why James was being carted off by police at the end. Sure running away when your friend jumps to his death could “maybe” be a crime (failure to report?) but I don’t see what the charge would be, especially 20 years later with no eyewitnesses. Same goes for the Prime Minister. Again, I wanted to hate them both. The Libertine scenes screamed of images from Kavanaugh high school and college days. I just wanted it to be more black and white.

Disagree with you. If he didn't know it wasn't consensual, then why did he say what he said (the prosecutor questioned him on this which he denied)? It devolved into a 'he said, she said' which is sad and it's sadder that the jury didn't convict. Shows how misogynistic society still is.

DP. And I disagree with you and agree completely with the PP. There is no way a jury could convict someone over a he said/she said like this - especially one which started off completely consensual. You can't put someone in jail over a murky situation. That's not "misogyny," that's due process.

+1

Signed,

Lawyer

Juries can be duped. Look at what happened in the Pam Hupp case.

[Anonymous]

For people talking about Michelle Dockery playing a different type of character, you might like if you haven't seen it already "Collateral" on Netflix. It's more of a conventional crime drama, but it has some of the same social overtones as Anatomy of a Scandal. And what's really interesting is watching Carey Mulligan playing a different character (here, a whip-smart police officer who is always one step of the men she's dealing with) than in her early ingenue roles like "An Education." She is excellent in the role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This show made me re-examine a sexual encounter I had in college and wonder if I had been raped by a friend. There had always been tension that spilled over into hooking up once, but when he started trying to have sex with me I said we shouldn't, but he penetrated me anyway. In that next moment I didn't scream or yell "No!" I just went along with it, and it was kind of an out of body experience. I was upset later, but I rationalized that someone who I had been friends with for years wouldn't rape me. After watching this show, I wonder if I had been raped.

Regret is not the same as rape. You didn’t convey this, you didn’t stop him, your didn’t communicate. And I’m a woman but women need to stop pretending they have NO agency becuase they “went along”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people talking about Michelle Dockery playing a different type of character, you might like if you haven't seen it already "Collateral" on Netflix. It's more of a conventional crime drama, but it has some of the same social overtones as Anatomy of a Scandal. And what's really interesting is watching Carey Mulligan playing a different character (here, a whip-smart police officer who is always one step of the men she's dealing with) than in her early ingenue roles like "An Education." She is excellent in the role.

I just started Collateral this weekend, and I'm only 1.5 episodes in. So far it seems that everyone is acting suspicious! And why did the woman who ordered the pizza throw the pizza in the floor??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This show made me re-examine a sexual encounter I had in college and wonder if I had been raped by a friend. There had always been tension that spilled over into hooking up once, but when he started trying to have sex with me I said we shouldn't, but he penetrated me anyway. In that next moment I didn't scream or yell "No!" I just went along with it, and it was kind of an out of body experience. I was upset later, but I rationalized that someone who I had been friends with for years wouldn't rape me. After watching this show, I wonder if I had been raped.

Regret is not the same as rape. You didn’t convey this, you didn’t stop him, your didn’t communicate. And I’m a woman but women need to stop pretending they have NO agency becuase they “went along”

From RAINN: “ Consent does NOT look like this:
- Refusing to acknowledge “no”
- A partner who is disengaged, nonresponsive, or visibly upset”

https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

PP said “we shouldn’t.” He did not acknowledge and penetrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This show made me re-examine a sexual encounter I had in college and wonder if I had been raped by a friend. There had always been tension that spilled over into hooking up once, but when he started trying to have sex with me I said we shouldn't, but he penetrated me anyway. In that next moment I didn't scream or yell "No!" I just went along with it, and it was kind of an out of body experience. I was upset later, but I rationalized that someone who I had been friends with for years wouldn't rape me. After watching this show, I wonder if I had been raped.

Regret is not the same as rape. You didn’t convey this, you didn’t stop him, your didn’t communicate. And I’m a woman but women need to stop pretending they have NO agency becuase they “went along”

From RAINN: “ Consent does NOT look like this:
- Refusing to acknowledge “no”
- A partner who is disengaged, nonresponsive, or visibly upset”

https://rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

PP said “we shouldn’t.” He did not acknowledge and penetrated.

+1. She even said "we shouldn't" but he did it anyway. That's rape. I'm so sorry this happened to you pp. I think the encounter you describe is unfortunately common. It can be hard for women to process this because it's not like a stranger assaulting you in an alley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Coercion is not consent” is a fantastic way to put it. PP, I’m sorry about what happened to you. It’s what you and others have said. There needs to be an affirmative yes, and if that yes changes to a no or even changes to a not-enthused, then the other person needs to stop. And part of sex Ed should be learning about different conversation styles and how/why women aren’t always comfortable just yelling “no” and screaming for help. Checking in with your sex partner all along the way is an important part of having sex.

+100

What does “checking in with your sex partner all along the way” mean?

Are you ok?
Is this ok?
Do you want to keep going?
Do you like that?
Do you want me to stop?