Would we regret moving to the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philadelphian here. 30 years in DMV. Here is the deal. Philly public schools are hair on fire bad. But private schools in Philly are cheaper and probably just as good if not better than DMV schools. Here you will pay for a million dollar home in Moco or Fairfax and face private school decision anyways when you realize how poor they are. There is TJ and Blair magnet - think Central and Masterman but no longer a guarantee for smart or cram school smart due to woke politics.

PP is correct.

There's also Girls and a few other smaller magnets. I have a friend who went to Friends Select who sends his two kids to other magnet high schools. I think one goes to what used to be Engineering and Science and now has a new name and I'd never heard of the other one. But the kids seem happy.

I would sell a kidney to move back to Philly, but DH's job is tied to here. We moved here from NYC and I would encourage you, other poster, not to do it. Not unless the work truly interests you. Every other aspect of your life will suffer. You will be tied to your car. The DC lottery system is a hot mess and if you lose you lose. The burbs mean you will have a stupidly annoying commute and never see your kids. Septa has jts flaws but this area has no functional regional rail. Seriously. None. You will drive in. You will pay 300/month for parking. You will need two cars.

And then there's culture. International people? Sure. But picture what kind of international people would move here? They will all wear suits. The suits will be navy, or possibly gray. They will expose themselves to "culture," on a regular basis like it's a dental x-ray. They will be dull at parties. Remember all the kids in high school who were in student government? They're all here. Bright-eyed and rule following and painfully sincere. And boring.

You know how people are in Philly and NYC? People here consider most of it rude. Being direct is not a virtue. Hone your passive aggressive skills. Learn to begin every personal statement with "I feel this is..." And so on.

When we moved here someone told my husband DC is known for its southern efficiency and northern charm. This is accurate.

Move to Tarrytown or Beacon or something if you don't like Philly. Lamberton is also lovely. Port Chester has a thriving restaurant scene. City Island would be awesome qol. So many options. Don't move here. Trust me.

If you still want to move here, can we trade?

-masterman grad

[Anonymous]

Am I reading you right that you are still on leave with your first infant? Maybe give it a few months and see if you feel more settled.

[Anonymous]

For your kidney?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philadelphian here. 30 years in DMV. Here is the deal. Philly public schools are hair on fire bad. But private schools in Philly are cheaper and probably just as good if not better than DMV schools. Here you will pay for a million dollar home in Moco or Fairfax and face private school decision anyways when you realize how poor they are. There is TJ and Blair magnet - think Central and Masterman but no longer a guarantee for smart or cram school smart due to woke politics.

PP is correct.

There's also Girls and a few other smaller magnets. I have a friend who went to Friends Select who sends his two kids to other magnet high schools. I think one goes to what used to be Engineering and Science and now has a new name and I'd never heard of the other one. But the kids seem happy.

I would sell a kidney to move back to Philly, but DH's job is tied to here. We moved here from NYC and I would encourage you, other poster, not to do it. Not unless the work truly interests you. Every other aspect of your life will suffer. You will be tied to your car. The DC lottery system is a hot mess and if you lose you lose. The burbs mean you will have a stupidly annoying commute and never see your kids. Septa has jts flaws but this area has no functional regional rail. Seriously. None. You will drive in. You will pay 300/month for parking. You will need two cars.

And then there's culture. International people? Sure. But picture what kind of international people would move here? They will all wear suits. The suits will be navy, or possibly gray. They will expose themselves to "culture," on a regular basis like it's a dental x-ray. They will be dull at parties. Remember all the kids in high school who were in student government? They're all here. Bright-eyed and rule following and painfully sincere. And boring.

You know how people are in Philly and NYC? People here consider most of it rude. Being direct is not a virtue. Hone your passive aggressive skills. Learn to begin every personal statement with "I feel this is..." And so on.

When we moved here someone told my husband DC is known for its southern efficiency and northern charm. This is accurate.

Move to Tarrytown or Beacon or something if you don't like Philly. Lamberton is also lovely. Port Chester has a thriving restaurant scene. City Island would be awesome qol. So many options. Don't move here. Trust me.

If you still want to move here, can we trade?

-masterman grad

this is very well-said, especially the student govt part. so many tracey flicks in dc.

[Anonymous]

Do you have parents or ILs who can help with kids? If so, you should go to them or convince them to move to you. It is a total game-changer when raising kids to have active, involved, grandparents. The happiest families I know in the DMV have this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philadelphian here. 30 years in DMV. Here is the deal. Philly public schools are hair on fire bad. But private schools in Philly are cheaper and probably just as good if not better than DMV schools. Here you will pay for a million dollar home in Moco or Fairfax and face private school decision anyways when you realize how poor they are. There is TJ and Blair magnet - think Central and Masterman but no longer a guarantee for smart or cram school smart due to woke politics.

PP is correct.

There's also Girls and a few other smaller magnets. I have a friend who went to Friends Select who sends his two kids to other magnet high schools. I think one goes to what used to be Engineering and Science and now has a new name and I'd never heard of the other one. But the kids seem happy.

I would sell a kidney to move back to Philly, but DH's job is tied to here. We moved here from NYC and I would encourage you, other poster, not to do it. Not unless the work truly interests you. Every other aspect of your life will suffer. You will be tied to your car. The DC lottery system is a hot mess and if you lose you lose. The burbs mean you will have a stupidly annoying commute and never see your kids. Septa has jts flaws but this area has no functional regional rail. Seriously. None. You will drive in. You will pay 300/month for parking. You will need two cars.

And then there's culture. International people? Sure. But picture what kind of international people would move here? They will all wear suits. The suits will be navy, or possibly gray. They will expose themselves to "culture," on a regular basis like it's a dental x-ray. They will be dull at parties. Remember all the kids in high school who were in student government? They're all here. Bright-eyed and rule following and painfully sincere. And boring.

You know how people are in Philly and NYC? People here consider most of it rude. Being direct is not a virtue. Hone your passive aggressive skills. Learn to begin every personal statement with "I feel this is..." And so on.

When we moved here someone told my husband DC is known for its southern efficiency and northern charm. This is accurate.

Move to Tarrytown or Beacon or something if you don't like Philly. Lamberton is also lovely. Port Chester has a thriving restaurant scene. City Island would be awesome qol. So many options. Don't move here. Trust me.

If you still want to move here, can we trade?

-masterman grad

this is very well-said, especially the student govt part. so many tracey flicks in dc.

So, kindly, I would encourage you to get therapy because this is a lot of feelings. DC would not be my first choice as a place to live. It’s very expensive and the summers are really hot. If my job were not a consideration, I’d like to move to Chicago. But if you want a government job, it’s awesome! I commute on the metro from Virginia, we have one car (which I regularly drive to Target because I’m full-on suburban mom), I see my kids a lot, their school does not seem particularly competitive. If you think you could like your job and swing the mortgage, it’s a totally fine place to live. Find a local pool and some good bug spray.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine being bored in my job. I would think twice about staying in Philly, especially since you have no connection there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely find a nice house for $1.5 million in parts of DC, maybe not the closest to the city, but there are new builds in Kensington for $1.5M right now:
https://www.redfin.com/MD/Kensington/4314-Warner-St-20895/home/11080418
https://www.redfin.com/MD/Kensington/4524-Everett-St-20895/home/10994565

Or you can find a very nice life in Silver Spring for a house that's under $800K.

Lots of options for lawyers here. I think you'd like it.

These locations are both terrible. Way overpriced.

[Anonymous]

I think you'd prefer dc. Having a job you love is important. I lived in center city and loved it for the year but always feel like Philly is better as a city ( very dense, walkable, easily lived without a car, great food) but the suburbs feel far more removed. In part dc is physically small so Bethesda/Arlington are still very close to downtown. I also think the fact that the suburbs are on the metro rather than a regional rail makes a difference- much easier to run 15 minutes late and not miss your entire train ride. It's running infrequently at the moment due to covid but still more frequent then septa. I lived in DC for years but now that I'm married with a kid on the way we live in Bethesda- still very easy to get downtown and great schools. I too found Philly was very hard to break into- everyone seemed to have grown up there and never left. DC is opposite.

My husband and I often joke about leaving the area for my much lower cost of living hometown but there is then a huge tradeoff in jobs and intellectual community so we stay.

[Anonymous]

Move to NOVA.

You have one kid already. You might have another. But the public schools in FCPS are worth it.

[Anonymous]

DC is great place to raise kids. There are so many amazing schooling options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I (both lawyers) have lived in Philly for two years and are becoming a bit discouraged by the lack of job opportunities in the area. We came from NYC and have loved certain things about Philly (especially the lower cost of living and great food scene). However, when it comes to thinking about next steps in our careers, we're not seeing many opportunities we're excited about. We also aren't particularly tied to this area - we aren't from here, and we haven't really put down roots yet. We're in our early 30s with an infant.

We're starting to come to the realization that moving to DC may make more sense for us than staying put. Neither of us is work-obsessed, and we want to prioritize family life. However, we also want to have jobs that we find at least somewhat interesting. There are many, many more jobs that fall into that category in DC than in Philly. We both lived in DC for short stretches when we were younger, and we like the city. We think we would be happy there. The main thing that makes us hesitate when considering a potential move is the cost of housing and the general craziness of the DC real estate market.

If we stay in Philly, we'd likely move to the burbs in about five years. We could afford a very nice house here. If we move to DC, we'd likely be targeting the closer-in Maryland or Virginia burbs or NW DC. We would need to be in an area with good public schools. Our budget could go up to 1.5M, but we'd like to stay under 1.2M. We have enough saved up for a large down payment, but we don't want to be stretched on mortgage payments down the road. (We're currently in big law, but at least one and maybe both of us would like to end up at agencies eventually if we move to DC.) We know that our budget will get us much less in those areas than it would in the Philly burbs. We are at the very beginning of our job searches, so the move would not happen immediately.

Would we regret leaving Philly for the DMV?

Do you send your kids to Philly public schools? Public schools are not much better. Lower your expectations or move to Massachusetts with the best public schools Or do private but, expect to pay a LOT. Honestly, there is no way to answer your question will you regret moving here. We don't know you and some people love it and some people hate it. I grew up in Philly so I know Philly. Do you have a good work balance in Philly? Which is more important..your family or your career? You can't really do both.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Double edged sword based on what you're saying. You love the lower COL that Philly and the surrounding area offers, but you're bored with your jobs, and the lack of options where your careers are concerned.

DMV is a very interesting area. A lot of Type-A personalities, super intelligent and well-educated people. Good job stability, career options. With that comes the feeling of needing to constantly keep up, or stay ahead - which is exhausting. At first it may feel exciting and invigorating, but after a while you start dreaming of leaving to a slower paced area.

With your budget, you have options - not a ton though unless you want to move outside the beltway (exburbs). You won't be alone though because many folks are now priced out of close in areas.

And you think that's not true of Philadelphia?

OP, I would add: A lot of people here who think DC is the center of the planet, and thus are oddly more provincial than people in other big cities.

Np Yes it isn't true of Philly at least as I remember it growing up there.

[Anonymous]

I would also add Arlington to your list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do it if I were you OP. I always dreamed of living in DC (I have an "international" background) so I can't imagine preferring Philly over a city like DC. People are not exactly "nice," as I'm sure you noticed from all the sweet white ladies on this site, but they are interesting and highly educated.

Why do you assume we are all white and why is it deemed an insult to be white and female?