Parent access to grades in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When 18 you are an adult, so this isn’t so strange.

Legally, maybe. Practically? Not really. Nothing magical happens in the brain on your 18th birthday.

The line for legal adulthood has to be drawn somewhere. What freedoms do 18 year olds have that you believe should be rescinded and handed back to the parents?

It's more about accountability than freedom. If I'm paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for something, I want to make sure that money isn't wasted.

I guess I'm surprised more people don't see it that way, all for the sake of "freedom". It's the same as if I loan somebody money, I want to be confident it'll be paid back. Think of grades as collateral in this case.

What does your kid say? If my parents were like this, I'd want to be financially free of you ASAP. Maybe that's your goal, but my family's approach to money is totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When 18 you are an adult, so this isn’t so strange.

Legally, maybe. Practically? Not really. Nothing magical happens in the brain on your 18th birthday.

The line for legal adulthood has to be drawn somewhere. What freedoms do 18 year olds have that you believe should be rescinded and handed back to the parents?

It's more about accountability than freedom. If I'm paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for something, I want to make sure that money isn't wasted.

I guess I'm surprised more people don't see it that way, all for the sake of "freedom". It's the same as if I loan somebody money, I want to be confident it'll be paid back. Think of grades as collateral in this case.

What does your kid say? If my parents were like this, I'd want to be financially free of you ASAP. Maybe that's your goal, but my family's approach to money is totally different.

Eventually, that is the goal but right now, they're not.

FWIW, my kid keeps me apprised. I don't need them to be specific, but I do want to make sure they stay on track (and keep their scholarship, as some others have mentioned; if that goes away, we'll have real problems).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a few reasons:

- so he knows we know without us having to ask or nag
- so we can intervene if needed - he would NEVER ask us
- it's expensive and it is an investment
- he would be states away and it is a way to be able to know what is going on
-it would be conditional and maybe just freshman year

Realistically, what difference does knowing his grades make in changing the outcome? Worst case scenario, he flunks out, and what? Magically gets a job and supports himself while lying to you that he’s still in college? Middle case scenario, he runs into trouble in a class and finds a solution, maybe with your knowledge and advice, maybe not. Best case scenario, he’s a genius and never has a day of struggle, in which case you STILL don’t need to know his grades.

College seems to be the best time to let him start working out problems by himself. Do you intend to require access to his performance review for internships/summer jobs/professional jobs, too?

Did you read what I have written? I am paying for this. I won't be paying for those things. Additionally I said it could maybe only apply to freshman year.

The difference is knowing if he is using school to party or learn; or to ensure he doesn't need more help or support when he may not know to ask.

Why does your paying for this make any difference? If he needs help at your alma mater but doesn't know to ask, you don't care? You only care when you are financially on the hook?

Part of it is because he would be right down the road and I assume we would see him more than if he were far away. We'd just have a better idea how things are going. It is not that we don't care, but yes I do feel there should be more oversight because there is less room for error paying 75k a year.

If he'd never ask for help, how would you know this? Are you planning to sit in on his classes?

It just sounds to me like you are more concerned about your investments than you are at teaching your son how to take care of himself at college. He's going to make mistakes no matter where he is. Why not take the time to teach him how to recognize errors, use school resources etc? If I were you, I'd be checking to see which school has the better resources to help my kid with his particular issues, than worrying about protecting my investments. My son's life and wellbeing are worth more to me than my money.

[Anonymous]

Read 15:30 above. Please have your kids sign the FERPA waiver. End of problem.

[Anonymous]

It just sounds to me like you are more concerned about your investments than you are at teaching your son how to take care of himself at college. He's going to make mistakes no matter where he is. Why not take the time to teach him how to recognize errors, use school resources etc? If I were you, I'd be checking to see which school has the better resources to help my kid with his particular issues, than worrying about protecting my investments. My son's life and wellbeing are worth more to me than my money.

Having access to grades is a way to do this.