If you've gone through a round of IVF

[Anonymous]

Did you have your husband there for the transfer. Does he need to be there, other than for moral support? I'm wondering if I really need to make him take so much time off work. He is not balking at whatever time it takes or whenever I need him, but he is busy at work with little support. The ER day, of course, but for transfer? Won't I be able to drive myself home or to wherever I need to go. (acupuncture appointment) I won't be under anesthesia for transfer.

TIA

[Anonymous]

My husband had a meeting, so I took my mom for moral support. They gave me valium, so I did have to have someone drive me home.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would definitely recommend that you have him there for moral support and so you can say he was at least in the room when you got pregnant! At least at SGF, you can watch the embryo being transferred (via ultrasound) and they give you a picture of it to take home. The transfer is really amazing and also very overwhelming emotionally, which was a bit of a surprise to me. You are fine to drive yourself to and from but it's good to have someone there to just be with you and to hold your hand. Plus we had to make our decision about how many embryos to transfer when we were in the transfer room and I definitely wouldn't want to make that one on my own. I am at SGF and they tell you to go on bedrest for 24 hours after the transfer, so I also needed my husband to help me get settled and bring me something to eat when we got home from the transfer. Very best of luck to you!!

[Anonymous]

No, he doesn't need to be there---but it would be very lonely to do it by yourself. Plus, I agree with PP---it is more emotional than you would think and also there may be decisions that have to be made on the spot.

[Anonymous]

For my last IVF I had my transfer on my wedding anniversary, with my DH in another city. It was what we had to do, but not ideal. What bothers me the most is that he didn't get to see our embryo, which I think has made it more difficult for him to understand why I was so upset that it didn't work.

[Anonymous]

i had my husband there for my first unsuccessful er and transfer. however this time i may have my friends help me out this time though, er and transfer may end up on a super busy week for dh...

[Anonymous]

Our first round of IVF my husband couldn't be there, but it was so much better the second time and he was so impressed with the whole procedure. Dr. DiMattina explained everything to him as it was happening, and I think it made the difference at least with my stress level. We are in the dreaded 2ww.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for your replies. I hadn't realized that we would be making the call that morning of how many to implant. I also hadn't realized that my husband could be in the room for the transfer. That makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

he doesn't need to be there and the ET is very quick. yes, cool to see it on the monitor, but if he is worried about time off etc i would give him a pass. you will likely have an idea of the number to transfer before going into the ET so there shouldn't be any surprises on that morning.

[Anonymous]

Nope, definitely does not need to be there. I was on my own for mine, and it was just fine. You may not have a lot of warning as to what day the transfer will be on. For mine we were on track for a day 5 but the morning of day 3 there were some changes so i needed to rush in there. I didn't want to last minute change my husband's schedule, and also wanted to kind of save up required times i would need him in case it was unsuccessful & we needed to go into a 2nd cycle.

btw, it was a success & i'm now pregnant with twins!

[Anonymous]

When we were doing IVF to have our first child we had to make an on-the-spot determination about whether to go through with the transfer or cancel the cycle due to pretty poor quality embryos. I'm glad my husband was there with me to make that decision, in person. One of those slow-to-divide, rough-edged, highly-fragmented embryos is now our wonderful four-year old son.

[Anonymous]

I guess it also depends on whether you think you have a decent chance of success and/or plan to do more cycles. For us (I'm the 16:08 poster who transferred on our anniversary) it was our last IVF because I'm such a poor responder that it wasn't worth it to do any more. So it was harder to do it alone, because I knew our chances weren't great. After our BFN, we needed to grieve the end of our trying, and not having him there made that harder to do.

[Anonymous]

Like a PP, we also had to make a last-minute decision as to whether to transfer a poor quality embryo that was 60% fragmented and had ceased growing and actually "contracted". On the advice of the doctor, we decided not to transfer (although I later questioned whether that was the right decision). It was terribly emotional. For our next IVF, we also had to make a decision on how many to transfer because some were very poor quality. That time, we transferred all of them, and were blessed with one child as a result. My husband thought it was amazing to see the embryos on the screen, and he even cried. That said, if your husband really can't be there, then obviously, it is physically possible for you to do it yourself.