rec for son who didn't make travel lacrosse

[Anonymous]

My son didn't make the 8th grade travel lacrosse team he tried out for but would really like to play lacrosse. He has played some "b" team travel and rec over the years, but has never really had a good experience (bethesda rec teams where they barely have enough players to field a team, travel b teams where the coaches switch 4 times in a season). He is an average player and we don't really know much about the lax scene as a family. My husband and I aren't from here and never played lacrosse. Most of his close friends don't play lax and the ones who do are already situated on a travel team.

I can hear the criticisms from you all now (yes, I am sure I made a million mistakes on this over the years. And, yes, I am ready for all the meanness about how my child is no good.) But, to those of you with any helpful guidance, many thanks.

FWIW, he is at a private school where he can play lacrosse but most of the starters play travel so he doesn't get a lot of time (although he usually gets to play in all the games at least a quarter or two). He just wants to play where it is fun and not a waste of time and maybe work to getting a little playing time at some point in high school. None of my parent friends IRL have kids who play boys lax so I don't have anyone to go to. Also, we live in Bethesda so Va programs are not ideal.

Is Bethesda rec the best option? Any hints as to how to get the most out of it? I feel so bad for him. He just wants to play.

Many thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son didn't make the 8th grade travel lacrosse team he tried out for but would really like to play lacrosse. He has played some "b" team travel and rec over the years, but has never really had a good experience (bethesda rec teams where they barely have enough players to field a team, travel b teams where the coaches switch 4 times in a season). He is an average player and we don't really know much about the lax scene as a family. My husband and I aren't from here and never played lacrosse. Most of his close friends don't play lax and the ones who do are already situated on a travel team.

I can hear the criticisms from you all now (yes, I am sure I made a million mistakes on this over the years. And, yes, I am ready for all the meanness about how my child is no good.) But, to those of you with any helpful guidance, many thanks.

FWIW, he is at a private school where he can play lacrosse but most of the starters play travel so he doesn't get a lot of time (although he usually gets to play in all the games at least a quarter or two). He just wants to play where it is fun and not a waste of time and maybe work to getting a little playing time at some point in high school. None of my parent friends IRL have kids who play boys lax so I don't have anyone to go to. Also, we live in Bethesda so Va programs are not ideal.

Is Bethesda rec the best option? Any hints as to how to get the most out of it? I feel so bad for him. He just wants to play.

Many thanks in advance.

I think MadLax still has tryouts for that age group. It might be for a their B team but probably better than rec.

[Anonymous]

Look for supplemental tryouts. There are always teams looking for a few players.

[Anonymous]

Join any rec team, and look for other training opportunities (camps, skills and speed sessions - often the same lacrosse players clubs bring in to supplement train their kids will have sessions at a local gym, ask him if he'd like to sign up with a buddy). Have him talk to his school coach about what he wants to see. It is tough to break in when there are kids who've been playing club forever, but a coachable, eager kid is worth a lot.

I hope he's not too down on himself. Rec lacrosse is a blast. It can be nice to play with kids who just love the game.

[Anonymous]

I’m not the original poster but I have the same question for our 7th grade son. Such nice responses so far, very helpful. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join any rec team, and look for other training opportunities (camps, skills and speed sessions - often the same lacrosse players clubs bring in to supplement train their kids will have sessions at a local gym, ask him if he'd like to sign up with a buddy). Have him talk to his school coach about what he wants to see. It is tough to break in when there are kids who've been playing club forever, but a coachable, eager kid is worth a lot.

I hope he's not too down on himself. Rec lacrosse is a blast. It can be nice to play with kids who just love the game.

+1 Sorry to hear about your son. I know it is hard. Keep in mind that there are a lot of changes that occur between middle school and high school. Kids who are working on skills in middle school can "suddenly" seem to find their groove in high school while the red hot middle school stars lose their luster because they haven't/can't/won't develop beyond one or two plays.

Have your guy out bouncing off the house every day to hone his skills. You may also want to see if there are any local high school or college students who would do some one-on-one coaching. The positive interaction may help your guy keep up his confidence!

[Anonymous]

My son really enjoys playing for the Silver Spring Warriors. It is a hybrid club/rec organization: http://sslax.org/

I hope your son continues to have fun with the game, making friends with teammates, and building character. In the end that is what team sports should be about.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for all your kindness. It is truly appreciated. Is Bethesda rec the only rec league for 8th graders? That is what I could find online. It looks like more open up in the spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all your kindness. It is truly appreciated. Is Bethesda rec the only rec league for 8th graders? That is what I could find online. It looks like more open up in the spring.

Have you looked at next level lacrosse? My DS is in their program and we really like it, but he's a lot younger, so I don't know what the programs are for 8 graders.

Also, to the extent possible, try to get to know some of the other parents on the team. That may help you learn more about the lacrosse scene around here, since a lot of families are very knowledgeable. DH and I also don't know much about lacrosse, never played as kids, aren't from around here, but DH has learned a lot just from chatting with other parents, and he's not even particularly outgoing.

Good luck. I really wish there were better options for kids who want to play, but not necessarily at the level of intensity that travel requires.

[Anonymous]

You have to be willing to travel sometimes to do what's best for your kids. If for whatever reason you're unwilling or unable to do that then you have to settle for the options you have around you.

Finding the best fit for your son is going to motivate him even more and make him a better player. Defaulting to what's most convenient for you....well, you get the picture.

Whatever you do, ensure that you use this situation as a teachable moment for this young man. He did not make the cut this time for the club he wanted to play for and that is OK. Him continuing to work hard on improving his stick skills, athletics and eating well over the next year will make all the difference in the world. The young men who are taught and learn early on to pick up that lunch pail day in, day out and continue to grind ESPECIALLY in the face of adversity are the ones that rise to the highest level of this sport.

Best of luck to your son in his future athletic endeavors.

[Anonymous]

I'd immediately look into long residential psychoanalysis.

Such a blow to his self-esteem at this tender age will certainly have long long negative effects on his life and the ability to support himself one day.

Get him into a recovery program as soon as is. Humanly Possible.

[Anonymous]

Top Caliber Lacrosse is a good option for your son. It’s in Virginia, and you probably will have to drive a little more than you’d like, but the coaches are great and the kids I know who play Top Caliber seem to really like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all your kindness. It is truly appreciated. Is Bethesda rec the only rec league for 8th graders? That is what I could find online. It looks like more open up in the spring.

Bethesda might be the only rec league option in Montgomery County for the fall. Most of the other clubs offer training that your son could use to hone his skills and stay engaged in the game until the indoor winter and spring leagues open. The Silver Spring Warriors that the previous poster mentioned fields U13 tournament teams in the fall. They practice once a week and participate in some tournaments. I believe they also play indoor lacrosse in the winter. You might want to reach out to them to see if it would be appropriate for your son.

Goodl luck!

[Anonymous]

Go to hoco club lacrosse league website. Look at the teams in B division they are always looking for players.

[Anonymous]

I thought the B teams (at least in certain age groups) make a lot of cuts?