Coming back to Christianity for the wrong reasons

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to get some opinions / thoughts on an idea I've had recently.

I'm considering coming back to Christianity in a way, but honestly not for the right reasons

First, I am having a child soon and I think I will give her a Christian start to life so she has the same chance to choose to be religious that I did. I don't know much about christening / baptism so any tips/suggestions on that would be helpful too.

Second, I'm in a new community and I remember as a teenager that even as I was drifting away from the faith intellectually, I very much valued the sense of community in our church. It would be nice to be a part of a church community again.

Third, (and sorry in advance for this one) I feel like our modern political/cultural situation is pushing me to identify more with people that go to Church than people who don't. I like the idea of being around people who think it's OK to say it's good to have some normal Christian family values.

I feel like we've swung so far on certain social issues that I'm kind of worried that my kids will get some really twisted ideas in their head about sex, gender, political correctness and everything else. I just think we've "jumped the shark" with some of this stuff -- and I say this as someone who has never voted for a Republican. I'm not some crazy right winger -- I'm just a regular person who's ready to say "whoa, let's slow down a bit."

I grew up going to "non-denominational" Christian churches and don't really know much about what type of Church or denomination would be a fit for me. I also don't know if I will be that committed to going regularly or not?

The one missing piece in all of this is, of course, the actual faith. I have a hard time being certain that God exists and cares about me. In truth, I am probably agnostic.

So I am confused..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to get some opinions / thoughts on an idea I've had recently.

I'm considering coming back to Christianity in a way, but honestly not for the right reasons

First, I am having a child soon and I think I will give her a Christian start to life so she has the same chance to choose to be religious that I did. I don't know much about christening / baptism so any tips/suggestions on that would be helpful too.

Second, I'm in a new community and I remember as a teenager that even as I was drifting away from the faith intellectually, I very much valued the sense of community in our church. It would be nice to be a part of a church community again.

Third, (and sorry in advance for this one) I feel like our modern political/cultural situation is pushing me to identify more with people that go to Church than people who don't. I like the idea of being around people who think it's OK to say it's good to have some normal Christian family values.

I feel like we've swung so far on certain social issues that I'm kind of worried that my kids will get some really twisted ideas in their head about sex, gender, political correctness and everything else. I just think we've "jumped the shark" with some of this stuff -- and I say this as someone who has never voted for a Republican. I'm not some crazy right winger -- I'm just a regular person who's ready to say "whoa, let's slow down a bit."

I grew up going to "non-denominational" Christian churches and don't really know much about what type of Church or denomination would be a fit for me. I also don't know if I will be that committed to going regularly or not?

The one missing piece in all of this is, of course, the actual faith. I have a hard time being certain that God exists and cares about me. In truth, I am probably agnostic.

So I am confused..

1. So you are looking to the Chritian churches because of this worry? OK. Yeah.

2. I'd watch out for the nondenominational ones (assorted prosperity gospel types), since their denomination seems to be "Christ-based rationalization for my own greed".

3. I don't think you are supposed to be agnositc. That's ok for the religions that are more intellectual (since they value questioning) but truly an issue for those for whom nothing seems to matter but one's own personal relationship with God.

[Anonymous]

I am not religious, but my husband and I were raised in church going families who were very involved in the church community. We do not go to church and are very socially liberal - but we send our kids to a Baptist preschool. It is good for them to understand all kinds of beliefs and choose what is right for them. This basic education in biblical teachings and concepts is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to get some opinions / thoughts on an idea I've had recently.

I'm considering coming back to Christianity in a way, but honestly not for the right reasons

First, I am having a child soon and I think I will give her a Christian start to life so she has the same chance to choose to be religious that I did. I don't know much about christening / baptism so any tips/suggestions on that would be helpful too.

Second, I'm in a new community and I remember as a teenager that even as I was drifting away from the faith intellectually, I very much valued the sense of community in our church. It would be nice to be a part of a church community again.

Third, (and sorry in advance for this one) I feel like our modern political/cultural situation is pushing me to identify more with people that go to Church than people who don't. I like the idea of being around people who think it's OK to say it's good to have some normal Christian family values.

I feel like we've swung so far on certain social issues that I'm kind of worried that my kids will get some really twisted ideas in their head about sex, gender, political correctness and everything else. I just think we've "jumped the shark" with some of this stuff -- and I say this as someone who has never voted for a Republican. I'm not some crazy right winger -- I'm just a regular person who's ready to say "whoa, let's slow down a bit."

I grew up going to "non-denominational" Christian churches and don't really know much about what type of Church or denomination would be a fit for me. I also don't know if I will be that committed to going regularly or not?

The one missing piece in all of this is, of course, the actual faith. I have a hard time being certain that God exists and cares about me. In truth, I am probably agnostic.

So I am confused..

I was going to offer the Unitarian/Universalist church, but they're welcoming of the LBGTQ community and it sounds to me as if you have issues with the growing visibility of that community.

[Anonymous]

No, I have lots of gay friends and support the community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So I am confused..

1. So you are looking to the Chritian churches because of this worry? OK. Yeah.

2. I'd watch out for the nondenominational ones (assorted prosperity gospel types), since their denomination seems to be "Christ-based rationalization for my own greed".

3. I don't think you are supposed to be agnositc. That's ok for the religions that are more intellectual (since they value questioning) but truly an issue for those for whom nothing seems to matter but one's own personal relationship with God.

Right, I am just saying that I have come to appreciate the culture/community of Christianity in recent years even though I haven't made much progress on recovering my faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I have lots of gay friends and support the community.

DP -- in that case -- try the Unitarians -- you can find out all about many different religions, and still learn Bible stories - as stories -- not things you must believe.

[Anonymous]

Your reasons don’t sound “wrong” to me.

Not all devout Christians are right of center. And of the many who are left of center, not all are UU. I’m a practicing Catholic in a fairly liberal parish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your reasons don’t sound “wrong” to me.

Not all devout Christians are right of center. And of the many who are left of center, not all are UU. I’m a practicing Catholic in a fairly liberal parish.

Same here, though our current parish is more conservative than I am. I consider myself generally liberal, support gay marriage and all that, but I think I am similar to op in that I think some things have gone too far. In particular, the added language of "gender assigned at birth" in Fairfax County schools has me convinced catholic school is the right choice for my kids.

OP, I suggest checking out different churches and seeing where you feel comfortable. I've always found Methodists fairly mellow, perhaps you'll like their approach?

[Anonymous]

Also check the websites of churches you may be interested in to get a feel beforehand. Many Episcopal churches welcome newcomers at whatever stage in your faith journey you may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your reasons don’t sound “wrong” to me.

Not all devout Christians are right of center. And of the many who are left of center, not all are UU. I’m a practicing Catholic in a fairly liberal parish.

Same here, though our current parish is more conservative than I am. I consider myself generally liberal, support gay marriage and all that, but I think I am similar to op in that I think some things have gone too far. In particular, the added language of "gender assigned at birth" in Fairfax County schools has me convinced catholic school is the right choice for my kids.

OP, I suggest checking out different churches and seeing where you feel comfortable. I've always found Methodists fairly mellow, perhaps you'll like their approach?

This is us too. DH and I just went through RCIA last year, and we found plenty of room for doubt in the Catholic Church. Before that, we went to a non-denominational Christian Church. I found it much too conservative for me (a lot of young earth believers). This probably isn’t a time a lot of people are considering Catholicism, but I hope you find something right for you.

[Anonymous]

There is no wrong reason to come back. (Hugs). If God is moving you to do this, then go for it. I hope I feel the same soon. Right now I am not there yet.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a Christian and think that the way modern Americans talk about faith is not necessarily the way Christians have historically *lived* faith - it's not primarily an intellectual yes/no statement of belief, it's a commitment to following Jesus even if you aren't sure it's true. I sometimes describe faith as "choosing to affirm irrational things." Doubt is a huge part of Christian life, if you read writings of saints and philosophers, and community is part of what keeps us tied to the church and God in the darkest times of doubt. It gives us structure and relationships to wrestle from "inside" rather than saying we can't come in until we are sure. Even if you arent sure it's God inviting you in, God wouldn't want you outside in the cold.

As for what church I'm not sure. It is important to me to go to a church that welcomes gay and trans people and nontraditional families, which may not be what you are looking for; the UCC is great on this but I'm part of a Baptist congregation here in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your reasons don’t sound “wrong” to me.

Not all devout Christians are right of center. And of the many who are left of center, not all are UU. I’m a practicing Catholic in a fairly liberal parish.

Same here, though our current parish is more conservative than I am. I consider myself generally liberal, support gay marriage and all that, but I think I am similar to op in that I think some things have gone too far. In particular, the added language of "gender assigned at birth" in Fairfax County schools has me convinced catholic school is the right choice for my kids.

OP, I suggest checking out different churches and seeing where you feel comfortable. I've always found Methodists fairly mellow, perhaps you'll like their approach?

Yeah, stuff like that -- good example.

I'll start checking out a few options in our area.

[Anonymous]

I sort of get where OP is coming from and the desire for community but at the same time, OP not only has "doubts" about God's existence, she expressed no interest in Jesus in the OP. She just sort of wants what she perceives as a healthy environment for her children, which is a legitimate and worthy goal. But I think there are better ways to get there without joining a church. Ultimately I think church is a waste of time if you do not want to follow Jesus.