Sister goes hot and cold on me
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Anonymous
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Ever since she got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis I have seen this weird pattern in her. Some days she will be really happy and friendly, the next she will appear cold, distant and Moody. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong.
Is it normal for people to be like this when diagnosed with a chronic illness and how do I stop taking it personally? She isn't out right rude but there is a definitely a change in how she acts. |
Anonymous
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How are you even asking this? YES, she needs time and space and room to exert her energy on herself and her health.
You sound ignorant at best, selfish and immature at worst. Why don’t you educate yourself on her condition? Why don’t you ask HER how best to support her? |
Anonymous
People have good days and bad days. The bad days take more emotional energy just to get through them, the niceties tend to go by the wayside on the really bad ones. |
Anonymous
| Is just hard not to take it personally especially as I am in in vulnerable place myself at the moment. It feels like I am doing something wrong. |
Anonymous
| I have a chronic health condition that has required multiple surgeries over the years, and I will say that on my painful days I'm probably more curt and not my normal self. I joke and call it my pain rage with my DH. On behalf of your sister, please don't take our pain rage personally. We aren't trying to be terrible, but chronic pain does make your brain cloudy. Please do some research about your sister's condition, and learn to accept that you may not ever understand the feeling of chronic pain. Most people can't comprehend it without experience. A good friend of mine finally had her first surgery/injury recently, and when I went to visit her, the first thing she said was - I finally understand your pain after all these years and why you've cancelled plans before or anything. |
Anonymous
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Her moodiness probably happens on days she’s not feeling well. It’s not about you, so don’t take it personally. Maybe on a better day for her, ask her how you can support her. Try to be patient with her.
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Anonymous
Then stay away from her until you have the capacity to educate yourself enough to comprehend what chronic pain does to a person. |
Anonymous
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The thing is, she doesn't really have pain, just the odd discomfort. She got diagnosed in March this year after a terrible 6 months of symptoms but things are on the up now.
Maybe we do need some distance as I can't help but feel confused and sad when she is like this even if that is wrong of me, |
Anonymous
No having “pain” doesn’t mean she isn’t feeling well. Her symptoms affect her, physically and in how capable she can be in her life. Distance would be good if you can’t handle this. |
Anonymous
| ^Not having pain... |
Anonymous
| I know she feels perfectly fine physically now. Maybe it's just getting to grips with the illness? She is a very anxious person. |
Anonymous
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Her anxiety will make it harder for her to deal with anything.
Ease up on your sister! |
Anonymous
Oh, and you’re so rational and calm... |
Anonymous
| Op, you need to mature beyond wanting /needing your sister's approval and love. Treat her with respect. Demand the same from her. She is not the boss of you. Stop analyzing and scheming to stay in her good graces. |
Anonymous
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Its like she keeps me at arms length and just goes really quiet. I just want to understand it from her side. I am not scheming at all, just trying to make sense of it.
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