Sorority Rush
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Anonymous
| I am not familiar with this as my college did not have sororities, but DD is starting this week and I was wondering what I need to know about it as a parent. |
Anonymous
| Depends on the school-- which one? |
Anonymous
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The Panhellenic society at her school should have posted rules.
This was a long time ago, but my university’s Panhellenic had a system that a girl had to visit all the houses and then bid on a percentage of them. The next day she learned who matched her bid and could only visit those houses to repeat the process. Eventually, you were down to visiting three houses and bidding on two. Hopefully, you matched at least one. Really popular houses would only bid on you if you were a legacy or had them as your top bid every round. It was a dressy evening every night with a lot of angst in the dorms with girls second guessing what they wore, said, and did. Be prepared to provide suggestions and after care. In contrast, fraternities and the Historically AA Greeks only allowed you to attempt to join one fraternity or sorority. Much less drama. |
Anonymous
| The school has Posted the process. I’m just curious what it like for the girls emotionally since I have never done it. |
Anonymous
It can be rough. Very compressed time frame, lots of pressure to connect with the different houses and if your child doesn’t have a strong sense of self or friends at school to commiserate/keep it in perspective, it can be tough. Be supportive, remind her either way it goes that this needn’t define her college experience. Just listen, don’t give advice mom. |
Anonymous
| Is she at a southern or northern school, the process is very different based on region. |
Anonymous
| Definitely can be tough on a kid's ego as there is the possibility of rejection. |
Anonymous
|
If a big school with a lot of sororities, formal recruitment is a series of very long days, especially the first day when they have to visit ALL the houses. At an average state university that isn’t too Greek, that’s still half an hour or so spent at maybe 10 houses. Plus time walking between them. And in the early fall semester when it’s still really hot outside. And that’s at an “average” school - a really large state university like Ohio State, Penn State, etc. will have more just by virtue of having a bigger student body, and universities in the south will also have more as Greek is bigger there.
It can be very tiring and draining but also a good way to meet people. I did formal recruitment at my college and got my bid at the end, but my/my family’s financial situation wasn’t great and I didn’t think I could afford the dues. At least when I went through it, my college had a rule that if you fully participated in formal recruitment - going to every event, on time every day, no “suiciding” (when you only rank one house), basically everything the recruitment counselor tells you to do - you were guaranteed a bid unless your GPA was in the toilet or you had, like, a criminal record or something else really serious. |
Anonymous
| Why would anyone want to do this? Such bullshit. |
Anonymous
I regret that I did it, although I got my top bid. I went to a big university far from home where I knew no one and Rush started the third week. I lived in a single sex dorm across from sorority row so I got sucked in. The next three years were a waste of time and money, but so was actually afraid of disaffiliating, which was described to my pledge class as a horrible ceremony following by public shunning. I actually liked many of my sisters, I just disliked Greek life. I did eventually disaffiliate, but I did it by mail over the summer. |
Anonymous
Fun Friends Community Socializing Opportunity to live in the house your junior and senior year Etc |
Anonymous
| 07:39 poster again. Although the general procedure of formal recruitment hasn’t really changed since the 90s/early 2000s (you still do the visits to every house, philanthropy rounds, skits, and pref night and whittle down your houses each time), we all went through it before social media. I imagine that adds a lot of stress for the PNM’s these days. Not just scrubbing your insta of all the questionable HS stuff, that’s easy and most kids are pretty social media savvy these days. But also “curating” a good, high quality picture feed with all stuff that can be seen by the sororities and portrays you in the best light. When I decided to rush I was like “well, might as well try,” I had no letters of recommendation, had to borrow clothes and shoes from a girl in my dorm, and knew nothing about the sororities and very little about the process in general. That was typical of most girls as I remember it. Of course there were a few who knew Tri-Delt was rich, Fuzzie was partiers, DG were stoners, etc. from their older sisters or older friends from their high schools. But rush is a huge business now for both the PNM’s and the sororities. It will probably be pretty stressful and time consuming for your daughter, but it should only take a week so at least there’s that. |
Anonymous
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The sorority rush will all depend on your daughter. How outgoing/friendly/relatable is she and how good is she with first impressions.
The whole week is a process of elimination where the houses pick your daughter to come back and your daughter picks the houses she wants to go back to. If after the first day she isn't asked back to any house or only one or two (assuming there are multiple houses), this is going to be really rough on her. Basically, she'll see it as the houses met her and decided they didn't like her. (And in actuality, this is what is happening.) If after the first day your daughter is asked back to tons of houses, she's probably going to have a great experience (the houses met her and liked her!). In my experience, the girls who don't get asked back to lots of houses/have a rough time just aren't a good fit for the Greek community. And I don't mean this negatively at all...these just won't be her people/friends/clique at college. And that's okay! As most of us know, there are so many groups, clubs and cliques of people that she will find her niche that she really does fit in. I would encourage her to keep an open mind about the process (don't have your heart set on ONE AND ONLY ONE HOUSE--that will most likely backfire). And remember that even within a single sorority house there are cliques within each pledge class. So if she doesn't get her PERFECT house, she'll still meet and find girls she likes/connects with in other houses. Good luck to her and to you! It can either be a hard/stressful week or a fun/exciting week. As for my time with the sorority, I loved it. It was an instant group of friends that you could connect with. I am still friends (10+ years later) with some of the girls, but definitely not all. I found two of my four jobs through my sorority connections. But I didn't, and don't, let it define me. |
Anonymous
any academic merit? in the end, the money is a stretch for us and this just seems like a frivolous waste of time. |
Anonymous
Most have GPA requirements and study hours. Depending on your major, you may also find a group to study with or older sisters to help with questions. |