I HATE JOE!

[Anonymous]

My wife and I have been married almost 16 years. We have two kids 14 and 11.

We have always had a very open and honest relationship. Its probably the key element in our marriage that we have never lied or hidden anything from each other.

About 3 years ago she comes to me and says she needs to talk to me. It turns out she has met someone that has really sparked some interest in her. They havent done anything but shes afraid of where it might lead. We sit down talk about everything and go over some options. She doesnt want to leave me, I dont want to leave her. And we both dont want to screw up our family.

We agree to try an open marriage. Not to go out and screw everything that walks but also not be afraid to explore things that may interest us.

She goes out with this guy a few times. They sleep together, but turns out her being married is a deal breaker for him and their relationship kinda fizzles out.

A few months later she goes away with friends and she meets someone, they have a few drinks get to know each other and spend a good portion of the week together in and out of bed.

So far none of this bothers me. She is being very open with me. Nothing is hidden and Im ok with her having a little bit of fun here and there.

Fast forward to last October. She meets a guy at work. His name is "Joe". They dont work in the same company but do work in the same industry . She tells me about him and that they have exchanged numbers and have beem chatting for a while.

Texts turn to drinks, drinks turns to sex blah blah blah. Im expecting this to be another brief encounter maybe a couple weeks and then hes out of the picture. WRONG!

February rolls around and because Valentines Day is mid week I suggest we take the kids to my parents and on the weekend and spend some time together. She says that sounds fun but she has already made plans with Joe to go away over night. Im disappointed, whatever. But I let it go.

March comes and again she says we have to talk. Her face is red, she has tears pouring dowm her face and I ask whats wrong... Turns out shes pregnant. I had a vasectomy after our second was born so I know its not mine. This kind of floors me because I had assumed they were using condoms. When I asked how it happened she explained that they hafnt always used them and after a few close calls decided to go on the pill. Apparantly though they didnt wait long enough and now shes pregnant.

Again we talk about options. Everyone knows Im fixed so having a baby will cause alot of questions and it would definitely disrupt our family. She says Joe doesnt want to have kids either so the alternative is what she has decided.

She goes to the doctor, confirms the pregnancy and sets a date for the abortion. The day rolls around and I stay home from work. When we wake up in the morning she asks why Im still here. I said I figured she woukd need a ride and some help. She tells me Joe was on his way and he was going to take her, she didnt think I could handle looking after her after she had terminated someone elses baby.

Fine whatever. They do their thing. June I suggest going sway for a week but Joe is having knee surgery and she wss going to hrlp him out for a couple days. July Joe's mother is in the hospital and she has to go feed his dogs while hes out of town.

A couple weeks ago the kids are outside swimming with some friends. I grab her and we start making out in the hallway. I pick her up and start carrying her to the bedroom. When I try to undress her she says. "I cant, Im going out with Joe tonight.

Last weekend I suggest that we go away Labor Day weekend with the kids. "Oh sorry honey, I thought we would do something with the kids on Monday so I made plans to stay with Joe Saturday night.

I HATE JOE!

[Anonymous]

School will be starting again soon, sweetie!

[Anonymous]

If you're a troll - you got a lot of time on your hands for a not very good story.

If you're not - P.S. - you're the nanny, not her man.

[Anonymous]

One of the most messed up things I’ve ever read. You both need help!

[Anonymous]

If you are not a troll, I’ll pass on the advice that would be given to any woman posting this on here...pull up your big girl panties and get the hell out with whatever dignity you can scrape up off the floor.

[Anonymous]

What in the world did you think was going to happen when you opened this can of worms?

[Anonymous]

I think that there is about a 0% chance that this happened to a man and he decided to write all about it on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that there is about a 0% chance that this happened to a man and he decided to write all about it on DCUM.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

This is pretty clever for a junior high school writing assignment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty clever for a junior high school writing assignment!

Troll. Probably the sexless marriage open relationship guy as usual.

[Anonymous]

Im sorry that my "story" wasnt full of erotica to satisfy your midday jerk off session. Its not a troll post nor meant to garner sympathy or rage. Its simply what has been going on in my life the last 10 months.

My wife and I have a really good relationship in every aspect except where Joe enters the picture. Which is wht the "story" was about.

Yes, I have gone out and got laid a few times, which she knows about as well. But I honestly didnt think it was worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

Give your wife an ultimatum- you or Joe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give your wife an ultimatum- you or Joe.

That should have been his first step at the beginning of the story: when she said "we need to talk" three years ago, he should have said, "stop right there..."

[Anonymous]

I know everyone is saying troll, but I have a female friend with this arrangement. She's not upset by it, though, and the opposite happened where her husband got the other woman pregnant.

My friend is asexual but didn't realize her label until she was already married with kids. She just thought she was, for a lack of a better word, broken sexually. Never craved sex, never desired it or wanted it with anyone but did experience romantic feelings for and does love her husband. When she learned about asexuality and realized that's what she is, she and her husband switched to an open relationship. He got a woman he was seeing pregnant and as far as I know, the other woman had an abortion. My friend never mentioned anything about the kid after she told me.

I mean, is it a crazya$$ situation? Yes. Does it work for them? It seems to.

So, yes, while this seems crazy, these things do actually happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give your wife an ultimatum- you or Joe.

She already made her choice, many times as he recounted.

Joe is now top dog and loving life. He gets the best part of her without the responsibilities of marriage. He even gets her on holidays and can depend on her to help out in a pinch while Joe has committed to nothing.

Her rejecting sex with you in favor of her planned sex that night with Joe shows you exactly where you stand. You accepted that and did nothing? I see that as a defining moment in your relationship. I'm all for open marriage and have done it myself but you need to have clear boundaries, and it sounds like you don't. Joe is top dog. You get whatever it left, if anything.