What to wear to a black tie optional wedding

[Anonymous]

This September at a country club?

[Anonymous]

Black tie. They mean optional to be nice. But they want black tie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This September at a country club?

I hate invites like this, its either back tie or its not!! I guess what they reallyy mean is formal

I would go the Little black dress option and dress it up..

[Anonymous]

I'd get a fancy cocktail dress. Not full length because I find those really fussy and hot. Dress it up and wear heels (no tall brown boots).

[Anonymous]

Black tie apparel

[Anonymous]

High low ball gown -- gives you the ability to move without stepping on your dress.

[Anonymous]

Black tie, if you want.

[Anonymous]

Black tie means floor length. Black tie is not a cocktail dress. You would wear a cocktail dress to a wedding that is not black tie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black tie means floor length. Black tie is not a cocktail dress. You would wear a cocktail dress to a wedding that is not black tie.

Cocktail dress is fine for black tie as long as it is very dressy. Especially, if it is "black tie optional."
White tie requires a formal dress.

The last wedding we went to was at 5 and was black tie optional. DH refused to wear his tux over my protest. He was right. The groomsmen were the only ones in tux except for a handful of others.

I think a lot depends on the time of the wedding.

OP, what time is the wedding?

[Anonymous]

The presumption for an evening wedding is black tie. “Black tie optional” means they are letting you off the hook for the “proper” attire. A cocktail dress is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The presumption for an evening wedding is black tie. “Black tie optional” means they are letting you off the hook for the “proper” attire. A cocktail dress is fine.

This is true--"black tie" means 6 p.m. or later. Some brides are requesting it for earlier weddings, though.

[Anonymous]

The last few "black tie" weddings I went to, i'd say 50% of the women were in floor length dresses, and the other 50% were in more fancy, sparkly knee length cocktail dresses. Likewise, the men were 50% in tuxes, and 50% in black formal suits with black ties. DH's and my preference is cocktail dress and suit (I look waaaayyyy better in a cocktail dress than floor length, and DH looks waaaayyy better in his slim fit hugo boss black suit than his tux). The first time we were invited to a "black tie" (not technically optional) we checked the contemporary mores on some reliable fashion blogs, and consensus was that fancy black cocktail knee length dress and black suit with white shirt and black tie were completely appropriate in 2018 for a black tie wedding. And as mentioned, from our experience, totally within the norm of what people actually wear to these events. I note, however, they were not at country clubs -- these were at hotel venues, one wedding in Miami, etc.

At "black tie optional", almost no one wears tuxes or floor length gowns except the wedding party. The only friends who wear floor length dresses are the ones who are chubby and embarrassed about their calves. No kidding.

[Anonymous]

I was at a wedding a couple of years ago where the groom sent out multiple reminders that the event was black tie. Not black tie optional. I'd say half the women, including me, were in knee-length black dresses. I felt fine in mine.

Just wear a nice dress you feel good in, and don't stress too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a wedding a couple of years ago where the groom sent out multiple reminders that the event was black tie. Not black tie optional. I'd say half the women, including me, were in knee-length black dresses. I felt fine in mine.

Just wear a nice dress you feel good in, and don't stress too much.

And this is the thing. Most people really don't like dressing for a black tie event. They may not have the clothes already on hand -- so the event becomes expensive and inconvenient to have to buy/rent clothes for it. Or they may not like black tie clothes as much as non-black tie. For instance, my DH looks much sexier in a suit, and more puffy in a tuxedo, as do most men. Tuxedos are a big horizontal stripe across their midsection. Often not very flattering, even when skinny. And most women prefer a knee length look. Most of us look less stylish and attractive in a floor length dress. Agree with the other poster that some women like floor length speicifcally because it covers them up. Point is, the *majority* of people would prefer to not hvae to wear black tie. So if you are a couple having a wedding, and insist on black tie (and like the above poster, send regular reminders of the dress code because you're clearly getting the message from your guests that they may not be planning to wear black tie), you're basically just being a self-obsessed bridezilla/groomzilla who wants your guests to cave to your whims. No different than ridiculous weddings where the couple insists everyone wear "peach and lilac" that we criticize on this site.

[Anonymous]

I find that even at black tie weddings, most women wear short dresses. The people who wear gowns are in the minority and often look overdressed.