Etiquette for thanking teachers for rec

[Anonymous]

I think at our school, the counselor mentioned a thank you note to teachers that write your rec. Is that the norm? Do students give small gifts too?

[Anonymous]

A thank you note is lovely. A gift strikes me as unethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A thank you note is lovely. A gift strikes me as unethical.

Yes, I agree.

-- teacher who often writes recs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A thank you note is lovely. A gift strikes me as unethical.

Just wondering why you think it's unethical. My kid did include a small gift card with the thank you note, but after she knew the rec deadline had passed and teacher had sent in her rec.

[Anonymous]

A gift or gift card with a TY note for a letter feels like a tip.

Send a thank you note for the rec letter.

And, if your child feels really close to that teacher, let them give that teacher a small gift at the end of the school year thanking them for all they've done for her over their high school career.

[Anonymous]

At our MCPS high school gifts seemed to be the norm. We did amazon gift cards, maybe $50? Of course this was after the recs had been submitted.

[Anonymous]

Yuck. That makes me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

A nice thank you note.

When I was in high school, we had a teacher who demanded gifts for writing recommendations. She had a list of things she liked.

Yeah, I hated her.

[Anonymous]

I wrote a rec for a student last year, that she asked for the day before it was due. It was for a private HS. After she got accepted, she wrote me a lovely note and got me a mug from the school. Not anything I ever expected, but a nice gesture!

[Anonymous]

My kids wrote a note and gave a Starbuck's gift card.

[Anonymous]

DD thanked her recommending teachers in person and gave small gifts to all the teachers she felt close to (including recommenders) at the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

We gave gift (coffee mug, socks, shirt, etc ) from school DS was attending to recommenders to thank them. All gifts under $25 and included a handwritten note.

[Anonymous]

Our children each hand-wrote notes and we included Target gift cards for $50. It takes a lot of time to write those recs and to keep them genuine. None of the teachers who wrote the recs for our kids did it pro forma, they all asked a lot of questions and really knew our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote a rec for a student last year, that she asked for the day before it was due. It was for a private HS. After she got accepted, she wrote me a lovely note and got me a mug from the school. Not anything I ever expected, but a nice gesture!

I love that!

[Anonymous]

$50???

Way out of line by any measure.