Being “in the moment” when traveling with kids?

[Anonymous]

Short of taking daily quiet breaks alone, what ways can I be more “in the moment” when traveling with kids? I feel like my mind is always elsewhere. We are taking a pretty significant vacation soon, and I want to be more present in physicality AND mentality.

[Anonymous]

I feel zero need to be fully "in the moment" when my 6 yr old is telling me about a dream some other kid she knew two years ago had. I ignore a lot of that crap, as well as my kids descriptions of why they want certain toys.

But when we're looking at something cool I half look at it and half look at the kids reactions to it. My phone is away when I'm with them for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Try to adjust your mind to their speed. We just spent a week at the beach, and thinking how mind blowing and fun it was for them to dig in the sand, get their feet wet, find shells, etc, helped me get in the moment.

We also took turns giving each other time to ourselves, and we also ate at restaurants the adults would like—kids’ menus are the same everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Give up all expectations and just count yourself lucky if 30 minutes of your day work out the way you imagined.

[Anonymous]

Lower your expectations to zero. So when one of your children throws up all over the back of the rental car as you drive up to the hotel and your room will not be available for 4 hours---you just roll with it.

That said, if you are traveling by plane, know that the kids will see it as an adventure. Just driving to the airport, going through security, getting on the plane- is all fun for them. Pull back some small toys a month before you leave and buy a few new ones and dole them out over the course of the trip. Relax your standards about bedtimes, naptimes and food and screen time. If you are having an "on the go" trip, don't be afraid to cancel mid day on one of the days if everything isn't working and you are cranky.

#1 rule of travel with kids is get the hotel with a pool.

[Anonymous]

Slow everything down. My kids get crabby if I'm rushing them from one activity to another, and I get stressed. Plan only one or two activities a day, and allow plenty of time to just chill at the <beach / playground / splashpark / whatever>.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lower your expectations to zero. So when one of your children throws up all over the back of the rental car as you drive up to the hotel and your room will not be available for 4 hours---you just roll with it.

That said, if you are traveling by plane, know that the kids will see it as an adventure. Just driving to the airport, going through security, getting on the plane- is all fun for them. Pull back some small toys a month before you leave and buy a few new ones and dole them out over the course of the trip. Relax your standards about bedtimes, naptimes and food and screen time. If you are having an "on the go" trip, don't be afraid to cancel mid day on one of the days if everything isn't working and you are cranky.

#1 rule of travel with kids is get the hotel with a pool.

Great advice!

[Anonymous]

Leave your cell phone in the hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lower your expectations to zero. So when one of your children throws up all over the back of the rental car as you drive up to the hotel and your room will not be available for 4 hours---you just roll with it.

That said, if you are traveling by plane, know that the kids will see it as an adventure. Just driving to the airport, going through security, getting on the plane- is all fun for them. Pull back some small toys a month before you leave and buy a few new ones and dole them out over the course of the trip. Relax your standards about bedtimes, naptimes and food and screen time. If you are having an "on the go" trip, don't be afraid to cancel mid day on one of the days if everything isn't working and you are cranky.

#1 rule of travel with kids is get the hotel with a pool.

This is wonderful advice. My kids are now older teens/college aged and many of their best memories of childhood are from our summer vacations because as PP says, it's all a great adventure.

[Anonymous]

I’ve found it helpful to identify a few things that will make me feel like I’ve had at least a taste of real vacation, and plan to make sure those happen. For me, that usually means a couple long runs or other exercise, and peaceful time in nature. If I can fill in a bit on that, I’m much more “in the moment” and happy to go with the flow the rest of the day. With relatively young kids, half the joy of a trip - or even more - is living the new experiences through their eyes.

I also have really enjoyed one on one time with my kids on vacation. One of my favorite memories is when I was awakened early by my early riser, instead of being grumpy about it, the two of us quietly got dressed and roamed the streets of a new city together. Being one-on-one with kids let’s you soak in their perspective without getting harried or frazzled with competing demands or bickering.

[Anonymous]

Not sure this is “in the moment” but one of my big realizations is not everyone has to do everything. I can take the ones that want to go on a nature hike on the hike and anyone that doesn’t want to go can stay with my spouse (who always basically wants to work or nap) and read a book. No complaining allowed because you chose to come!

I’d never let leave my cell phone though, because I get lost easily!

[Anonymous]

Every day, ask the kid what they want to do. Try to do at least one thing they’d like to do. This will boost their energy and give them something to look forward to every day of the trip.

For my elementary age kid, his favorite thing to do each day was enjoy ice cream and maybe a little pool time. This was simple and he was more accommodating when it was time to do things I enjoyed.

I basically taught my kid the art of compromise on our vacations

[Anonymous]

Don’t try to record everything or capture every moment with photos.

[Anonymous]

You don’t mention the ages of your kids but I’ll try some general tips

Work on quieting your mind. Let go of expectations that don’t matter for health or safety. Wear the same clothes, eat odd meals or at odd times if need be, indulge whims. Manage disappointment - if something planned doesn’t happen, work to let it go. Something else must have taken precedence so move on to that. Do one thing at a time - no multitasking. Savor things - your coffee, your food, the breeze, the sunset, laughter, etc. Journal your thoughts even if you aren’t a regular writer - ask your kids for their thoughts and include those.

Personally I am religious and I use the Examen which is a daily reflective prayer used by the Jesuits. It can be done in mere minutes or if I have time I can let my mind wander and make it longer. I think it could be adapted even if you are not religious though. The steps are:

1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude.
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
5. Look toward tomorrow.

Some days I just think it through. Some days I have time to write. Some days I have no time and later find that I wish I had MADE time.

Trips are hard because we want them to be perfect so we can maximize our vacation time. We forget that that is often the exact opposite of what “vacation” is for! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t try to record everything or capture every moment with photos.

This is a big one. A few photos are fine, good even, but after that put the phone away.

*As PP mentioned, go with the inconveniences and turn them into something positive. DC up at 5:30 am? That just means you'll be able to watch the sunrise together.
*DC wants to gather shells at the beach, even though the shells are just broken bits and you can't understand why you're doing it? Just get a bucket and start gathering.
*Less "I'll wait here for you" and more "yes, let's go together to race in go-karts/zip line/play ball/whatever"