Bisexual women, are you satisfied in your marriage?

[Anonymous]

DH doesn’t really know the extent of my experimentation from my college days. I had several, ongoing casual relationships with women and I miss it. There’s no way to incorporate it into my life now unless DH is a part of it - which I don’t want. And yes, I know I can’t have it both ways.

I just know I’m left feeling like something is missing. It sucks. I miss women.

[Anonymous]

Then tell DH you want to open up the relationship and he can pursue other women on his own. But you’re not going to involve him with your women.

Fair is fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then tell DH you want to open up the relationship and he can pursue other women on his own. But you’re not going to involve him with your women.

Fair is fair.

x a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t really know the extent of my experimentation from my college days. I had several, ongoing casual relationships with women and I miss it. There’s no way to incorporate it into my life now unless DH is a part of it - which I don’t want. And yes, I know I can’t have it both ways.

I just know I’m left feeling like something is missing. It sucks. I miss women.

Why don't you want DH a part of it?

[Anonymous]

I know it wouldn't be the same, but maybe it would help to try to articulate what you miss about being with women, both sexually and emotionally. I realize a lot of it might be chemical/mechanical but maybe there's something you could ask your husband for more of.

[Anonymous]

Sounds as though you are not happy in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

this is why I would never date or marry a bi man. Its odd that so many people think its not big deal and that the bi spoiuse will totally be ok with this.

[Anonymous]

I think that when you're married - no matter what your sexuality - that there will be times that you "miss" being single. You're focusing on the one part of your "can't have" list but you may have very well felt the same feelings if not Bi but would hone in on something else - "I miss dating musicians" or whatever. I'm not suggesting that sexuality is not different but I do feel that some underlying feelings are still the same - we all struggle when monogamous and coupled at times wondering about what ifs or other people.

The fact of the matter is that you've committed to one person. if you are okay with an open relationship - your husband having sex with other people then have that discussion and say that you want to explore having sex with women without his involvement, but that he should be free to do the same. But if you're not comfortable with that but want to have your marriage and have casual sex with women - than that's just cheating. You can't lean on your sexuality to justify that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that when you're married - no matter what your sexuality - that there will be times that you "miss" being single. You're focusing on the one part of your "can't have" list but you may have very well felt the same feelings if not Bi but would hone in on something else - "I miss dating musicians" or whatever. I'm not suggesting that sexuality is not different but I do feel that some underlying feelings are still the same - we all struggle when monogamous and coupled at times wondering about what ifs or other people.

The fact of the matter is that you've committed to one person. if you are okay with an open relationship - your husband having sex with other people then have that discussion and say that you want to explore having sex with women without his involvement, but that he should be free to do the same. But if you're not comfortable with that but want to have your marriage and have casual sex with women - than that's just cheating. You can't lean on your sexuality to justify that.

+1. Also perhaps your preferences are changing and you would rather be with a woman ( ala Cynthia Nixon).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then tell DH you want to open up the relationship and he can pursue other women on his own. But you’re not going to involve him with your women.

Fair is fair.

Np here.

Him pursuing other women is not fair or equal. Him being able to pursue other men would be the equal here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then tell DH you want to open up the relationship and he can pursue other women on his own. But you’re not going to involve him with your women.

Fair is fair.

Np here.

Him pursuing other women is not fair or equal. Him being able to pursue other men would be the equal here.

DP - stop being dense. Fairness is that he can chose to pursue another partner. She doesn't get to decide whether that partner is a man or a woman - that's his choice/preference. The equity is agreeing that both can step outside the boundaries of the marriage.

[Anonymous]

I am very satisfied. My DH knows everything I've done and together we go out and have fun with women once in awhile. It scratches that itch for me. May I ask why you don't want DH involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very satisfied. My DH knows everything I've done and together we go out and have fun with women once in awhile. It scratches that itch for me. May I ask why you don't want DH involved?

Not OP but I think that by "involved" OP doesn't want a threesome which it appears you are comfortable with. The dynamic is completely different so I do understand why someone would want one but not the other.

[gentry]

My bi wife has always had permission from me to see women. I was never involved and never expected the “fair is fair” bargain. That said, here in our early thirties we’ve done a little swingin’ and I even had a mistress of my own for a while. We trust each other implicitly and have never been happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is why I would never date or marry a bi man. Its odd that so many people think its not big deal and that the bi spoiuse will totally be ok with this.

Because bi people are individuals? Some bi people are happily monogamous. Some bi people are not. Just like straight people.