MIL and our sofa?

[Anonymous]

Our living room sofa has served us well for nearly 10 years. In that time, we’ve had kids. For the most part, it’s still in style, and I have it professionally cleaned once a year, spot cleaning in between, pretty much weekly, so I’m in no rush to get rid of it until it either breaks, or the kids prove they aren’t such dirt magnets.

But it never fails that every time my MIL comes over, she has to sideways glance at the sofa and ask when we are getting a new one, despite my telling her not until the kids get a little older. I need a quippy response that will shut the comments down once and for all.

[Anonymous]

"Never. I love this sofa."

After I said that the second time I'd say, "You know, you ask me that every time you come over. It's clear you don't like it, but that's what having your own home is all about - each person gets to buy what makes THEM happy. This sofa makes me happy. We have no plans to replace it."

[Anonymous]

Is it comfortable to sit on? Does MIL have trouble getting up and off of the sofa? Perhaps in 10 years the cushions are a bit worse for the wear and she doesn't want to embarrass anyone (incl. herself) saying it's hurting her back or hip or hard to stand up from. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Say, loudly and clearly "Larla, you asked me that last time. And the time before. I told you not until the kids are older. Are you having trouble remembering? Do you remember that last visit here, in the fall? Have you noticed other times you've had trouble remembering things lately?"

Source: I genuinely thought my MIL might be developing dementia when she asked about the placement of a piece of furniture 4 times during the same day. I talked to DH about it, who told her that was what I thought. She got all huffy about it but never mentioned it again.

[Anonymous]

Haha, my MIL always asks me if I want new couch pillows for my Christmas gift, birthday gift, etc... I’ve never mentioned them but I guess she hates them. Last time she was here we had a 3 and 1 year old so I didn’t think now was the time to get new ones. Funny she never asked DH if HE wanted them for his Christmas gift.

I just think it’s funny and it’s my own joke of when I’m going to hear about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it comfortable to sit on? Does MIL have trouble getting up and off of the sofa? Perhaps in 10 years the cushions are a bit worse for the wear and she doesn't want to embarrass anyone (incl. herself) saying it's hurting her back or hip or hard to stand up from. Just a thought.

It is still surprisingly comfy, which is why we still have it. We have two other newer chairs she can sit on. It’s not that the couch is uncomfortable. My own mom who has had a spinal fusion is comfortable on it.

Love these suggestions. I can’t wait to put them to use. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

My mother has never sat on our “new” sofa. New to us via Craigslist. She prefers to sit on a straight backed chair because of her knees. Try offering her a different seat.

[Anonymous]

ask when we are getting a new one, despite my telling her not until the kids get a little older

It's a rude comment. You have let it go on. You shouldn't have done that. Shut down these rude comments with the truth, "that's a rather rude comment". Family/friends do not get a pass on being rude. Btw, it's a big mistake if you have commented on your own sofa, with apologies. Don't do that.

[Anonymous]

I wish all my MIL problems were as big as this one...

She is doing one of two things:

* being obnoxious about the shabby room.

* being graceless about how she asks you to provide a seat that doesn't hurt her back.

If the former, the answer is lalalalalalla

If the latter, ask a neutral friend to be blunt about whether your sofa is really worn out or not.

[Anonymous]

"I'm not sure. That reminds me--when are you replacing your guest room carpet?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Never. I love this sofa."

After I said that the second time I'd say, "You know, you ask me that every time you come over. It's clear you don't like it, but that's what having your own home is all about - each person gets to buy what makes THEM happy. This sofa makes me happy. We have no plans to replace it."

Great script but DH says it to his mother. Not OP. His mother is being rude to his wife and he needs to nip mom's behavior. So he's not around for these comments? Then he brings it up as mom sits on the couch: "Hey, mom, last time you were here you asked when we were getting a new couch. Never. I love...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm not sure. That reminds me--when are you replacing your guest room carpet?"

Don't do this--it only encourages people like MIL. They see it as your saying, "Game on."

[Anonymous]

The second time she asked me, I would have gone dead in the eyes and said "never, stop asking" as flatly as possible. My own mother is like a dog with a bone about sh*t like that, if she decides she hates your sofa, she's going to bring it up until one of you dies or the sofa is replaced. The only thing that stops her is telling her outright to stop bringing it up.

[Anonymous]

"When you buy us a new one."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"When you buy us a new one."

No, don't say that because than you'll end up like the family with the MIL who is giving money for a new kitchen.