Anybody else feel like they’re the adult in the marriage?

[Anonymous]

Without listing specific details, I am completley exhausted of taking care of things by myself. If I don’t do it or ask explicitly for it - it doesn’t get done.

I plan and cook the meals, lunches, pay the bills, budget our money, take care of the sick kids, schedule doctors appointments, do the grocery shopping, plan date nights, clean the house, hire and schedule the landscapers/contractors.

I genuinely feel like DH is just along for the ride. I work full time, he works full time.

It’s never “what would you like for dinner?” It’s “what’s for dinner?”

Yes - I know I should take the initiative to ask but just once I would like him to take the initiative and lead with something, anything.

[Anonymous]

Yup.

Sadly, this is called "being a heterosexual female."

Really baffling to me how men built empires, ran the world etc., given that so many seem incapable of even cooking dinner.

[Anonymous]

My first marriage was like this.

My second DH... Former Marine, raised a child as a single dad, knows how to get stuff done and does it without me prompting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

Sadly, this is called "being a heterosexual female."

Really baffling to me how men built empires, ran the world etc., given that so many seem incapable of even cooking dinner.

Umm. That is how. They don’t have to concern themselves with anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

Sadly, this is called "being a heterosexual female."

Really baffling to me how men built empires, ran the world etc., given that so many seem incapable of even cooking dinner.

WTF? You do know up until about 50 years ago, women were the ones who ran the heart-and-household for all cultures. Men built those empires and dominated the world by using slave-and-unpaid household labor in the form of their wives, (girl) children, servants, actual slaves, etc.

Now you think that's suddenly going to change? Especially with the back-to-SAHM movement everyone's espousing? Yeah, no.

[Anonymous]

The real reason DS is an only child is I can't handle taking care of any more kids, between DS and DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real reason DS is an only child is I can't handle taking care of any more kids, between DS and DH

Do you feel resentful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real reason DS is an only child is I can't handle taking care of any more kids, between DS and DH

Do you feel resentful?

Do bears poop in the woods?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

Sadly, this is called "being a heterosexual female."

Really baffling to me how men built empires, ran the world etc., given that so many seem incapable of even cooking dinner.

You seriously think men did all the work? No, the women did the work behind the scenes and the men took credit.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend (now divorced) who was the adult in the household. He did all doctor appointments, permission slips, kid's activities, birthday parties, cleaning, repairing, yard work, etc. His ex-wife cooked and did laundry but that was it. She was a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The real reason DS is an only child is I can't handle taking care of any more kids, between DS and DH

+100. I adore DD but originally didn't want kids and told DH pre-pregnancy that I felt like I already had one. We went to couples therapy after DD was born, and it helped.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, just leave.

We should all just leave. Because, really, what are we actually gaining?

And by all, I mean men and women both. Just. LEAVE. It's already over, anyway. And it only gets worse.

Get out while you can. Yes, you can be alone, because you already are, and in the end, we're already just that - alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend (now divorced) who was the adult in the household. He did all doctor appointments, permission slips, kid's activities, birthday parties, cleaning, repairing, yard work, etc. His ex-wife cooked and did laundry but that was it. She was a SAHM.

He permitted that. How long were they married?

[Anonymous]

This is my life too. To the world, 3 children, but I really think 4 of you include DH, who is the biggest child of them all. I figure it will get a little easier when the kids are off at college (back to managing 2 people's lives instead of 5).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

Sadly, this is called "being a heterosexual female."

Really baffling to me how men built empires, ran the world etc., given that so many seem incapable of even cooking dinner.

WTF? You do know up until about 50 years ago, women were the ones who ran the heart-and-household for all cultures. Men built those empires and dominated the world by using slave-and-unpaid household labor in the form of their wives, (girl) children, servants, actual slaves, etc.

Now you think that's suddenly going to change? Especially with the back-to-SAHM movement everyone's espousing? Yeah, no.

Yep white women were able to enjoy all the advantages of the oppressors- raping, slave labor and exploiting others while sitting at home. Wonder how many of the rich white feminists stop and examine their position in society and how their wealth was accumulated.