Is your spouse a good parent?

[Anonymous]

My DH is not the parent I thought he would be. Rarely interacts with the kids. When they tell him things his response is "cool."'or some other one word answer that doesn't necessarily apply. He will be physically present sometimes at events but is never the one to jump in the pool and play, offer on his own to play a board game, help our son practice baseball, take a walk with one of The kids when they have a bad day. I carry all the emotional weight of the family. He admits he does not like parenthood, to me, not the kids. They crave his attention and he just isn't mentally there. It's so sad.

[Anonymous]

He has another family a couple towns over

[Anonymous]

DH has admitted something similar to me and that he tries to be a great spouse (and he is) and an acceptable dad. Do I wish he parented more like me? Sure. But no one is perfect and he's doing his best IMO.

[Anonymous]

Mine is on his phone constantly. He will do whatever it takes to not have to do stuff for them like letting them pickle their brains on devices/tv for hours upon hours if he’s solo.

[Anonymous]

Yes. He does spend time on his phone while with them but I'm guilty of that too. He's out in the yard playing with them, giving me ideas for gifts for them, at their activities, etc. 4 yr old barely made it to the bathroom at the pool yesterday and he was the one rushing him towards it - I was standing with a friend who said her husband would never have done that (would have expected her to take him into the women's etc).

He comes from a very close family, which I think helps. 2 boys, 4 and 7. I AM the default parent in terms of scheduling, buying birthday gifts, dealing with their clothes etc, but he's a very hands-on dad. Very strict but they love and respect that.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes he needs a little nudge if it's not just him and DS, otherwise he is a great dad. I work every other weekend so it definitely forced him to be an involved dad (his dad wasn't around much growing up). Does he do things a little different than how I'd do it ...of course . But that's not a big deal

[Anonymous]

Yes he's great. He's always been good with kids and he loves being a dad. If I could fault him at all, I would say he's too permissive (he'd give them treats all the time) and he leaves the mental work of parenting and a lot of the discipline to me, while he gets to be fun dad. But on the whole, A+.

[Anonymous]

My spouse is an excellent dad in that he is always 100% present and really enjoys our kid and they have a lot of fun together. He's a terrible partner, in that he literally doesn't do anything other than spend time with the kid. Also the kid comes in a clear second after work in terms of priorities, so there's that. Although the time he spends with him is excellent quality, DH has absolutely no qualms about just peacing out and staying at work until 10pm for 5 nights in a row (despite the fact that he absolutely does not have to).

So, mixed bag. If I was forced to chose between all the options, I guess I do prefer this one. DH is crappy to me, and crappy to DS in not making him a priority. But the time he does spend with DS is nurturing and fun and bonding.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I'm the one who's a crappy parent. DH had to tell me "You have to sit on the floor with her," when DD wanted me to play. I am not a fan of parenting. I can do all the organizing, but don't really want to play with them at all.

[Anonymous]

He's a great dad and now an even better grand dad. I remember when my son was about 4 and fixated on Disney's animated Robin Hood, my DH would sit on the floor with him and watch it over and over with him. Together they knew every line and would sing every song. Kid turned out all right as he's now a Doctor. Two weeks ago DH watched it with our 5 yo grandson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is an excellent dad in that he is always 100% present and really enjoys our kid and they have a lot of fun together. He's a terrible partner, in that he literally doesn't do anything other than spend time with the kid. Also the kid comes in a clear second after work in terms of priorities, so there's that. Although the time he spends with him is excellent quality, DH has absolutely no qualms about just peacing out and staying at work until 10pm for 5 nights in a row (despite the fact that he absolutely does not have to).

So, mixed bag. If I was forced to chose between all the options, I guess I do prefer this one. DH is crappy to me, and crappy to DS in not making him a priority. But the time he does spend with DS is nurturing and fun and bonding.

That stinks for you. Being a good Parent also means being a good husband/wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse is an excellent dad in that he is always 100% present and really enjoys our kid and they have a lot of fun together. He's a terrible partner, in that he literally doesn't do anything other than spend time with the kid. Also the kid comes in a clear second after work in terms of priorities, so there's that. Although the time he spends with him is excellent quality, DH has absolutely no qualms about just peacing out and staying at work until 10pm for 5 nights in a row (despite the fact that he absolutely does not have to).

So, mixed bag. If I was forced to chose between all the options, I guess I do prefer this one. DH is crappy to me, and crappy to DS in not making him a priority. But the time he does spend with DS is nurturing and fun and bonding.

That stinks for you. Being a good Parent also means being a good husband/wife.

Yes it does, but if I had to chose, I'd rather that I be neglected than my kid (or both of us).

[Anonymous]

No, I can't honestly say that he is. Which is why I am NOT divorcing, because he has a host of letters after his name and no one would ever dare refuse him custody.

There is no question he loves his children, and myself. But loving and caring for are two very different things!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a great dad and now an even better grand dad. I remember when my son was about 4 and fixated on Disney's animated Robin Hood, my DH would sit on the floor with him and watch it over and over with him. Together they knew every line and would sing every song. Kid turned out all right as he's now a Doctor. Two weeks ago DH watched it with our 5 yo grandson.

that's adorable

[Anonymous]

In the beginning no on both counts but as we all got older he became what every wife dreams of having in a father for the kids and an attentive spouse. Now he too is THE best grandfather.

I actually can't wait until he retires.