How do you know if you have a good sex life?

[Anonymous]

I've been married 35 years, since I was 22, and while my DH and I have an active sex life of 2 times a week I have no idea if it's fair, good or great given I have nothing to compare it to as my pre-DH experience was limited and so long ago. Every once in a while I experience an OMG moment but that tends to be when we're on vacation or staying in some really nice hotel where I seem to be less inhibited. My DH seems to be satisfied as he's very loving to me and he keeps coming back for more and I know that once in a while he has an OMG moment sometimes at the same time as me. I'm sure he's been faithful so he's probably in the same boat as I am. I have no desire to cheat to answer the question as I really love my husband and my life but monogamy does have it's negatives! Are there other people out there like me? How does one ever know outside of cheating?

[Anonymous]

If you are having non pity sex two times a week you are doing a great job and your husband is very lucky guy.

[Anonymous]

You must be doing something right if he keeps coming back for more! I feel the same way as you sometimes but we try to mix things up so it isn't the same every time. The internet is a great place to find ways to spice things up but not take you out of your comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must be doing something right if he keeps coming back for more! I feel the same way as you sometimes but we try to mix things up so it isn't the same every time. The internet is a great place to find ways to spice things up but not take you out of your comfort zone.

I agree with you about mixing it up and finding new ways to enjoy sex. I think surprising your spouse with something new is a very healthy sign that you really care about keeping the flame alive. I've recently been discovering a very sensitive spot on my DH and as I get better at it it is fun to enjoy his reaction followed by how physical he gets with me.

[Anonymous]

I believe that many women with kids don't have as much fun in their own house as away in a hotel.

Think about it, the house is the nest, the den, the nursery. What animal is having sex in the nest/den? None. It's the area reserved for baby-rearing. And for me anyways, my home is my office, in a way. Mess up the sheets and I have to do the laundry. There's always a kid ready to yell, "MOM." It's hard for me to stay in the moment, especially after 20 years.

So...besides going to a hotel, if there is a way that you can keep your bedroom a little more sacred and psychologically separate from the rest of the house (aka the giant nursery). I know some parents don't allow their kids to ever go in their bedrooms, and I always thought that was nuts, but I see how that can help, psychologically, in the romance department. I'm not suggesting that, but just suggesting some psychological borders; so you can create territory that is purely romantic instead of either maternal or involving housework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that many women with kids don't have as much fun in their own house as away in a hotel.

Think about it, the house is the nest, the den, the nursery. What animal is having sex in the nest/den? None. It's the area reserved for baby-rearing. And for me anyways, my home is my office, in a way. Mess up the sheets and I have to do the laundry. There's always a kid ready to yell, "MOM." It's hard for me to stay in the moment, especially after 20 years.

So...besides going to a hotel, if there is a way that you can keep your bedroom a little more sacred and psychologically separate from the rest of the house (aka the giant nursery). I know some parents don't allow their kids to ever go in their bedrooms, and I always thought that was nuts, but I see how that can help, psychologically, in the romance department. I'm not suggesting that, but just suggesting some psychological borders; so you can create territory that is purely romantic instead of either maternal or involving housework.

I'm like you and my DH knows it! He also knows the nicer the hotel the better the sex. Hello Four Seasons! I've always been like this and now that we are empty nesters I have no excuse except I really like nice hotels.

[Anonymous]

I know because I have a toe curling orgasm every time (and often two). Apparently this is unusual, judging by the thread I just read in the relationship section. I just assumed it was normal. Why else would you have sex? The orgasm is kind of the point...not sure why you would be ok living without it a few times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that many women with kids don't have as much fun in their own house as away in a hotel.

Think about it, the house is the nest, the den, the nursery. What animal is having sex in the nest/den? None. It's the area reserved for baby-rearing. And for me anyways, my home is my office, in a way. Mess up the sheets and I have to do the laundry. There's always a kid ready to yell, "MOM." It's hard for me to stay in the moment, especially after 20 years.

So...besides going to a hotel, if there is a way that you can keep your bedroom a little more sacred and psychologically separate from the rest of the house (aka the giant nursery). I know some parents don't allow their kids to ever go in their bedrooms, and I always thought that was nuts, but I see how that can help, psychologically, in the romance department. I'm not suggesting that, but just suggesting some psychological borders; so you can create territory that is purely romantic instead of either maternal or involving housework.

You are overthinking things to an almost farcical degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know because I have a toe curling orgasm every time (and often two). Apparently this is unusual, judging by the thread I just read in the relationship section. I just assumed it was normal. Why else would you have sex? The orgasm is kind of the point...not sure why you would be ok living without it a few times a week.

Thanks guy posing as a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know because I have a toe curling orgasm every time (and often two). Apparently this is unusual, judging by the thread I just read in the relationship section. I just assumed it was normal. Why else would you have sex? The orgasm is kind of the point...not sure why you would be ok living without it a few times a week.

Toe curling....once or twice....every time? BS or wishful thinking especially if you are over 50. Something like 50% of women don't have a O every time but that doesn't mean sex isn't pleasurable. I love the whole experience and I always get very close but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know because I have a toe curling orgasm every time (and often two). Apparently this is unusual, judging by the thread I just read in the relationship section. I just assumed it was normal. Why else would you have sex? The orgasm is kind of the point...not sure why you would be ok living without it a few times a week.

Thanks guy posing as a woman.

I am a woman. Believe me, I wouldn't be having sex often if I wasn't getting an orgasm out of it. I don't always O out of PiV but my husband loves to go downtown and does every time. That does the trick if PiV doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Easy answer to OP's question is that it's very good if you and your spouse want a repeat performance, especially after many years. No one will do it for many years if it's just an obligation.

[Anonymous]

When I'm worried that my 67 YO DH might have a heart attack I know I'm doing something right! It happens quite often so I must be doing something right. I enjoy it as well!

[Anonymous]

If your husband and you have sex more often then he wacks off to porn you have a good sex life......

[Anonymous]

If you enjoy it, your sex life is good.

Seriously, it's that simple.