Feeling a bit overwhelmed and scared

[Anonymous]

I am supposed to go in for my day 3 bloodwork for my first IVF cycle tomorrow. I was originally planning to go in December for a variety of reasons, but I'm 41 and my doctor was pretty forceful with his recommendation that I begin with my next period. I'm 41, that is why. I had wanted to try a couple more rounds of acupuncture and Chinese herbs before I went in to begin the cycle, but now I am thinking that I really need to get started.

The process is feeling a bit daunting to me. I'm also projecting forward an thinking that I could end up with twins and I'm scared of all the risks I'm reading about. I'm also scared that something else will go wrong, like a trisomy or other chromosomal issue or a miscarriage.

I was pregnant last summer and we had to terminate the pregnancy due to anencephaly. I guess I feel like I've got a 50/50 shot at a healthy baby.

For the record, I am very healthy. I work out regularly and I'm in really good shape. I eat a healthy diet and I'm on megadoses of folic acid every day. My FSH is still low and I respond well to the fertility drugs. ( I did Bravelle with TI)

I'm not exactly sure what I am asking here, maybe looking for some words of encouragement or success stories. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I think it's completely normal for you to be feeling overwhelmed and scared. It's a daunting, uncertain process, and all the hormones you're given tend to exacerbate your emotions. I am a Women's Health nurse and have worked with many women like you, and I have family and friends who've sought fertility help. I think the main thing is to make sure you have emotional support throughout the process--whether it's from family, friends, and/or a support group. Perhaps your fertility clinic knows of some groups. Also, to comment on the alternative therapies you were using, my best friend and sister-in-law both continued with accupuncture throughout their fertility work. Good luck and make sure you do something nice for yourself every day -- take a walk, read a book, take a bath, get a massage from your husband, go to accupuncture, eat some ice cream...

All the best to you.

[Anonymous]

It is a very scary and overwhelming process, especially at first. Everyone finds comfort in different ways so you have to figure out what works for you. I would highly recommend finding some good books that provide information about infertility treatment. My favorite is The Infertility Survival Handbook by Elizabeth Swire Falker. She has been through it all and I found that the book struck a good balance between providing detailed information about treatments, drugs, financing, etc. (in plan English) and also talking about the emotional aspects of IF treatment. I read parts of it before my first RE visit and refer back to it often. A friend also recommended The Couples Guide to IVF, which I'm getting ready to start. I agree with PP about getting emotional support. I never would have made it through this without my friends and family. Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

i found ivf overwhelming, too. and like you, was caught in a web of worries and "what ifs." the only thing that worked for me was taking one day at a time. thinking of what could go wrong greatly increased my stress level.
i don't have a positive story yet, but i am hopeful.

[Anonymous]

I was a mess before we started IVF - I think the whole fear factor really got to me. I had had so many losses (m/cs and ectopic). I actually sort of felt better once we got started. I found having a friend who I could talk to was a huge comfort. I took things one day at a time too. We had bad days and good days but I knew there would be an end - either way. Clocks click really slow during TTC. Sucked...which is why I still come here to read and post occationally. Hang in there...I'll be you'll have good news for us soon. and I'm glad you aren't waiting any longer.