Taking Care of Hurt Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend of 3 months got hurt right after having surgery. He is in a lot of pain and is having a tough time getting around. I want to offer to help him out, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. We are not kids - both 30’s and dating for marriage. Would it be too much to help him out and make some cooked meals for him? I’m a nurse, and he’s texting me often asking what he should do for this an that.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should help him!

[Anonymous]

I'd been dating a guy for about a month when he hurt his back so bad he couldn't put his socks on. So for a few days I drove to his place early in the morning and helped him. We've been married over 30 years so he must have appreciated the gesture.

[Anonymous]

Um. I would help a FRIEND that I wasn't dating in that situation. Why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe this is even a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend of 3 months got hurt right after having surgery. He is in a lot of pain and is having a tough time getting around. I want to offer to help him out, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. We are not kids - both 30’s and dating for marriage. Would it be too much to help him out and make some cooked meals for him? I’m a nurse, and he’s texting me often asking what he should do for this an that.

LOL, you aren't dating for marriage if you, a nurse, are asking this question. He isn't the one for you.

[Anonymous]

Give him the number of the local Domino's Pizza and go about your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe this is even a question.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Wow...poor guy.
He doesn't know what he's getting into.

[Anonymous]

"I'm happy to help, so let me know what you need. I also don't want to overstep, so if you want to do things on your own or spend more time alone, just tell me."

[Anonymous]

How about "I cooked you some meals because I know you're in pain and I care about you. Is tonight a good time to drop them off and is there anything I can pick up for you on my way or anything else that I can do to help?"

Good grief.

[Anonymous]

I think OP wants to help but is worried she will come on too strongly.

Help him out, but just be careful the caretaker role doesn't get extended indefinitely. I was in the same situation- I think we had been dating 2 months- and it set up an almost parent/child dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I definitely would help a friend or boyfriend. He has knee surgery and then injured his leg after falling. I wouldn’t just be helping him out here and there, I would be staying with him for an entire week. I wouldn’t second gutless it if we were together longer, but it seems like a long time for only 3 months of dating. I will offer the help and see what he feels comfortable with. I don’t want to invite myself and him be too uncomfortable to tell me he’s not okay with me staying that long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe this is even a question.

Agree.

Yep he’s a guy. You must dump him. Maybe he has a friend you can start dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I definitely would help a friend or boyfriend. He has knee surgery and then injured his leg after falling. I wouldn’t just be helping him out here and there, I would be staying with him for an entire week. I wouldn’t second gutless it if we were together longer, but it seems like a long time for only 3 months of dating. I will offer the help and see what he feels comfortable with. I don’t want to invite myself and him be too uncomfortable to tell me he’s not okay with me staying that long.

A week is a different story. I would be hestitant too.