Dealing with resentment while on vacation

[Anonymous]

DH and I are in Europe for a couple of weeks and he is driving me crazy with his behavior. He snapped at me when I only suggested a restaurant recommended by our AirBnb hosts. If I'm walking too slowly in front of him, he thinks nothing of pushing me forward. Not to mention his hypocritical "I-dont-want-to-eat-with-other-tourists" snobbery. I've told him he's being rude and he tells me I'm sensitive. I can deal with him rejecting my ideas nicely, but he starts throwing F-bombs and chatising me for completely innocous things (like wanting a big meal when I was just mentioning the accompaniments from the menu). Granted, we live in suburbs and don't deal with the frustrations of city life daily but I still dont find his behavior excusable. How do I cope?

[Anonymous]

Do you love him?

He sounds like a nightmare

[Anonymous]

Long term: therapy.

Short term: tell him you're unhappy and disappointed with how he's treating you. Say you'd rather spend time with him, but you're going to focus on solo outings until his behavior changes. Then go on solo outings until his behavior changes.

[Anonymous]

It's nice of troll to have vacation troll threads.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like somebody needs a nap.

These are the people from Fairfax you see screaming at each other on La Rambla.

[Anonymous]

My husband cannot deal gracefully with transitions and departures from routine. His worst craziness has been on vacation, so I understand what you’re going through. I have learned to stand my ground and refuse to interact if I’m not treated with respect. I am also perfectly ready to do things alone or with the kids and leave him to be control-freaky all by himself.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like neither of you like each other. You have built-up resentment, bitterness, hate, or whatever that makes you get easily annoyed about petty things about each other.

[Anonymous]

What a fun vacation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband cannot deal gracefully with transitions and departures from routine. His worst craziness has been on vacation, so I understand what you’re going through. I have learned to stand my ground and refuse to interact if I’m not treated with respect. I am also perfectly ready to do things alone or with the kids and leave him to be control-freaky all by himself.

+1

This is why I have stopped planning vacations altogether..

[Anonymous]

Well, you're in Europe - do you have a ideal sights and scenes to see? Maybe he feels he's wasting his time by ambling and/or shopping at the local tourist traps.

[Anonymous]

Is he always like this?

Pick 3 things you want to do, have him pick 3 things he wants to do and then go do them.

[Anonymous]

He pushed you??

I wouldn't deal with this nightmare of a person, on vacation or at home.

[Anonymous]

Some people do not travel well and you don't find out until you actual go somewhere with them. The pushing thing, though, domestic or international, not okay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are in Europe for a couple of weeks and he is driving me crazy with his behavior. He snapped at me when I only suggested a restaurant recommended by our AirBnb hosts. If I'm walking too slowly in front of him, he thinks nothing of pushing me forward. Not to mention his hypocritical "I-dont-want-to-eat-with-other-tourists" snobbery. I've told him he's being rude and he tells me I'm sensitive. I can deal with him rejecting my ideas nicely, but he starts throwing F-bombs and chatising me for completely innocous things (like wanting a big meal when I was just mentioning the accompaniments from the menu). Granted, we live in suburbs and don't deal with the frustrations of city life daily but I still dont find his behavior excusable. How do I cope?

seems like you two brought a lot of unresolved baggage along on this vacation. what's really going on here?

[Anonymous]

I always tell couples who are dating to travel together, preferably to a country where neither speaks the language. You really don't know someone until you travel with them and see how they function out of their comfort zone or under stress. That behavior translates to all kinds of situations back home. OP your DH sounds like a dick. Can you just do your own thing on this trip and let him stew in the hotel.