Introducing child to public bus

[Anonymous]

Our child in Mont. Co. applied to a Application Program and got accepted. As part of the process we made her aware that she would need to take either the Ride On Bus or the Metro Bus to school. She told us this was fine. She has taken both of these buses with her friends to go downtown or whatever. However, when it actually comes to taking the bus to school she has no confidence and quite frankly no interest. She told my husband and I that we can continue to drive her to school and then we can buy her a car. We did drive her till middle school ended. How do I gently introduce her to the bus she gains confidence during the summer to take it. She won't take it to her summer job nor will she take it to the orientation that is today at 12. I went over the bus time tables with her last night and left her summer bus pass and her metro card on the table. I left for work and that pile is on the table. I told her if she did not take the bus she would miss orientation as I had to be at work period. Thanks for any help. I also arranged for a friend of hers to go with her. No she is not getting a car either, but that is a battle for a year from now.

[Anonymous]

I have no advice other than to tell her, no car even later so she’d better get used to the bus. Could she bike? Walk?

[Anonymous]

Larla, this is the bus. Bus, this is Larla.

But seriously. Lots of kids take the bus. She's taken the bus. Do you think that she has a particular worry about this bus trip, or that something is going on that is manifesting itself as refusal to take the bus? Or do you think she just doesn't want to take the bus and believes she can get you to drive her?

[Anonymous]

Tell her that some things are not up for discussion, such as not wearing a bike helmet. Not wearing a seat belt, and in her case, not taking the bus to school. Let her know that if she chooses not to take the bus, she can attend her home school and not the special program.

You can empathize that it's new and scary. You can suggest she find a friend in the program to take it with together. But, do not budge. Do not drive her.

[Anonymous]

When my kids started taking the bus home we rode together a few times first.

[Anonymous]

"Doing new things is scary. The first time is the hardest. The thing about the bus - people are purposefully minding their own business and even better you can't do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing bc no one cares what you are saying or doing. Don't know how to pay fare, ask the driver or watch the person in front of you."

[Anonymous]

Sounds bratty to say she can't bother to learn how to take a bus and insists on being driven

[Anonymous]

OP, what about the summer job? When does that start, whose idea was it, and how else could she get there?

[Anonymous]

In middle school, I took the public bus the first few times with my child. And many other parents from our school did the same. We all stopped riding with our kids about a week or two in. I think she will like it once she gets comfortable. The kids have such a sense of freedom once they are used to it.

Maybe starting a new school and taking the bus are just too much together. My daughter is also starting at a new high school (same as your child - a school that she wanted to apply to). She has begged me to drive her the first week. I agreed. Even though she will need to walk for the school year, I understand the nerves at beginning of year. I will need to alter my work schedule that first week.

Maybe I am too sympathetic, but I find the first days of a new job scary. I am a routine loving person so the shock of a new routine is a lot. I sincerely believe anything you can do to get the new school/new year off to a good start, you should do. My child appreciates that I work to provide income, etc. so there's no spoiled child syndrome...sometimes you just need extra comfort at the beginning. Hope this helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds bratty to say she can't bother to learn how to take a bus and insists on being driven

Totally agree. I don’t have a car. Dd has been taking mass transit by herself since the end of fourth grade. Now going into tenth, she knows Uber is only for extreme circumstances. I’d tell your daughter she can sit in her room staring at the wall until she’s ready to use the resources given to her, and take away all electronics. Your daughter is being a little shit, and you want to “gently introduce her to the bus “ even though she’s taken it before? Come on!

[Anonymous]

My rising 6th grader will be taking the Ride On bus to school next year. We've driven by the bus stops.

In late August we will do a trial run together where we both get on at the school and come home together. The next day, she will do it alone and I will drive behind the bus. Then the following day, she will do it by herself and I will be at home.

I will be installing the Ride On Real Time app on her phone so that both of us can track the bus. When she is on the bus without me, she can either call me or text me throughout the ride.

[Anonymous]

Sounds bratty to say she can't bother to learn how to take a bus and insists on being driven


Totally agree. I don’t have a car. Dd has been taking mass transit by herself since the end of fourth grade. Now going into tenth, she knows Uber is only for extreme circumstances. I’d tell your daughter she can sit in her room staring at the wall until she’s ready to use the resources given to her, and take away all electronics. Your daughter is being a little shit, and you want to “gently introduce her to the bus “ even though she’s taken it before? Come on!

The word bratty is lazy vocabulary and shows very little insight into how kids think. Your punitive approach is "shitty" and calling other people's children "little shits" is just plain unnecessary. How about taking your anger out on someone else instead of this public forum?

My kids both take the public bus by themselves, and have done so since the middle of fifth grade. I rode the bus with both of them until they felt comfortable doing it, and that did the trick. Your daughter will not want to take the bus with you once she feels confident taking it, and once she sees other kids on the bus by themselves as well. Check with the school to see if there are other kids who are taking the bus, and try to connect her with them. Both of my kids were on buses with many other public school kids and that made the transition to solo riding easier.

[Anonymous]

.....However, when it actually comes to taking the bus to school she has no confidence and quite frankly no interest......

Not having confidence and having no interest are two different things and are addressed differently. Not having the confidence to independently ride the bus is better address with activities that build her confidence - like 'shadowing' her while she does it, doing it multiple times a day and riding different buses. Success builds confidence as does having the skills/experience or a plan to overcome challenges and difficulties. Knowing how to take public transportation is a life skill.

Having no interest in taking a bus is her issue to deal with. Leaving her stuff on the table, like you did, and telling her it's her choice to whether to go or not is an appropriate response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: When my kids started taking the bus home we rode together a few times first.

+1. Do it together a few times and she will feel better

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is her way of telling you that she doesn't want to go that program.