My mom called me stupid in front of my kids

[Anonymous]

My mom was complaining about how you could see my 2yr old DDs underwear through her white leggings. I said we can just get her dress to cover her bottom and my mom was still angry because she wanted her to wear the shirt she had on. I asked her if there was any white underwear in her drawer and she snapped. She said “uhh nooo I’m not stupid!! Are you?!” She said this right in front of my 5yr old DS. My mom is not mentally stable but this is the first time lost it in front of the kids. My husband is furious. Would you be upset as well?

[Anonymous]

That was snippy of your mom, but hardly what I'd call "lost it."

[Anonymous]

Op here- no she did lose it. She screamed like a crazy person and then stomped down to the basement to pout.

[Anonymous]

So talk to her: if she can't be calm and civil, she'll have to leave. End of story.

[Anonymous]

A lot of weird anger and icky behavior in your family. Lessen contact. Raise your own family better.

[Anonymous]

Why exactly is your mom dressing your child?

[Anonymous]

Limit contact as much as possible, since you know this won’t get any better.

And do not worry about the kids. I had to explain to mine how their grandma was crazy - now they know, they still like her, but don't trust her an inch. Which is the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

sdaD

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking your mother whether your daughter has a specific item of clothing in her drawer?

[Anonymous]

she didn't call you stupid. she complained about how you were treating her before storming off.

Is there some truth in her assessment?

[Anonymous]

She thought you were calling her stupid and she lashed out. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was complaining about how you could see my 2yr old DDs underwear through her white leggings. I said we can just get her dress to cover her bottom and my mom was still angry because she wanted her to wear the shirt she had on. I asked her if there was any white underwear in her drawer and she snapped. She said “uhh nooo I’m not stupid!! Are you?!” She said this right in front of my 5yr old DS. My mom is not mentally stable but this is the first time lost it in front of the kids. My husband is furious. Would you be upset as well?

It’s your mom. Why would your husband be furious and why would you mention your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she didn't call you stupid. she complained about how you were treating her before storming off.

Is there some truth in her assessment?

That's exactly the way I read it, too, that OP was being rude and argumentative, and that her mom snapped at the treatment. OP, sounds like you need to be more polite to your mom.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't do standard stuff like this with your mom. Have her seeDC when child is dressed and ready. Have her spend most of the time with DC in public places so she is less likely to have a fit in a crowd.

I have relatives like this too. They are set off so easily they can not be depended upon not to call people names and scream over small things like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't do standard stuff like this with your mom. Have her seeDC when child is dressed and ready. Have her spend most of the time with DC in public places so she is less likely to have a fit in a crowd.

I have relatives like this too. They are set off so easily they can not be depended upon not to call people names and scream over small things like this.

This. It’s easier to limit time than to expect them to change. I don’t want my kids to see my dad get stressed out and yell at everyone when he’s anxious about leaving for a trip. To prevent that, I try to get my kids ready and take them separately, and meet my parents at the destination. Once we’re there, my dad is pleasant. Getting there, he’s a bear and doesn’t realize or care that he’s being a jerk to everyone. He’s not interested in changing. I know because I spent about 20 years asking him to change. Eventually I realized removing myself, and later my kids, from the situation was the only way to avoid the situation.