Do you let your teen ride with other teen drivers?

[Anonymous]

Just starting to navigate this, as DD and friends are getting drivers licenses. MD law says the teens can't drive other teens for 6 months, but DD has some friends who are older who have had licenses that long. Do you allow your teen in the car with a friend driving? The accident rates are so high for this age group it makes me nervous. Am I overreacting to think I don't want my DC in the car with another teen driver? Just need a reality check here!

[Anonymous]

I allow this as long as the teen is not texting while driving. My DS is supposed to call me to come get him any time that happens like is a friend is driving drunk. All of his friends have the same rule with their parents so hopefully it's self-enforcing. And he's not allowed to ride in convertibles.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the circumstance. In most cases, yes, as it is usually getting a ride to/from school for band. We’ve also had talked about safety, distracted driving, etc which he gets more now that he has his permit.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My kids grew up in states that didn't have these laws. They all drove each other around from the very beginning.

[Anonymous]

I share your concerns. I know that, even though I was a responsible kid, it is much harder to drive well with other people in the car, and it took years to develop that skill. But even though I know that to be true, I'm pretty sure that the convenience of having another kid drive my kid to some places will prevail and I will allow it. It's tough. I am much more likely to allow it for short distances related to school with only one or two extra kids in the car, versus a road trip with lots of kids.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the circumstances and the kid who is driving. A kid I know going someplace that shouldn’t be very challenging? Sure. A kid I don’t know on the beltway in rush hour? Not so much.


I know most of my kids friends parents and know that they would not allow their newbie driver to drive in situations that are above their heads. I also know that the kids are responsible. So I am more comfortable starting with my kid being a passenger in these cars. My own child is getting his license next months and will not be allowed to drive other peoples kids at first. He’s not ready.

VA, and kids can take one non-family member at first. My kid and his friends are just getting licensed. I’m sure by this time next year, the rules will have relaxed.

[Anonymous]

It totally depends. 1 or 2 kids, from a familiar point A to point B, I would consider it. A group of kids at night? Probably no.

[Anonymous]

In Virginia, it is against the law to have more than one unrelated peer in the car with a teen driver under 18.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting thread. 16 YO DS recently asked to be allowed to ride to the beach (Delaware) with a friend we know and 17 YO that we don't know. We said no, but kinda wondered if we were outside the mainstream on this -- we are in DC, and most kids don't seem to bother to get a license or drive until they are a bit older. The point about VA law is really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

And don't care if that makes me insane, helicoptery beyond belief, and in the minority of one.

[Anonymous]

No I don't. Actually was a problem w/HS sports teams. Coaches assumed, at times, that players could ride in cars with the oldest varsity players. I remember a particular "team building" scavenger hunt activity which we didn't know was going to happen. DD called and asked if I would make an exception. One time there was a downpour and kids jumped into cars to relocate. That time DD walked it instead.

[Anonymous]

Another thing to watch out for is --- we were too quick too assume that by 12th grade most kids had had their license for awhile (since 16, standard in our area). Seemed safe to assume an 18 year old was an experienced driver. Not always so, and I think in those outliner cases the parents have some responsibility to inform other parents of their kid's (lack of) driving experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another thing to watch out for is --- we were too quick too assume that by 12th grade most kids had had their license for awhile (since 16, standard in our area). Seemed safe to assume an 18 year old was an experienced driver. Not always so, and I think in those outliner cases the parents have some responsibility to inform other parents of their kid's (lack of) driving experience.

Good point. In Europe and elsewhere, it's not part of the culture to systematically get a driver's license as early as possible, partly because there are so many public transport options. I got my license at 19 in Paris, my cousin got hers in her 20s, etc... and in this cosmopolitan DC area, I'm sure there are families who don't feel any rush.

Additionally, there is ADHD to consider. My son with ADHD will not be driving anywhere by himself until I can see that his reflexes, judgement and impulsivity are all at acceptable levels. I know he will need a lot of driving lessons, and a lot more driving experience than others, before I can allow him to drive with other people in the car. He will only be allowed to drive while medicated, so not in the early morning, and not at night. This is part of learning how to manage one's ADHD as an adult.

[Anonymous]

It was really weird moving here from a state where kids drive earlier. My kids had permits at 14. They had driver's licenses at 15 years and 9 months. Not permits. Unrestricted licenses. At 18 they had been driving for 4 years. I understand that kids here don't drive as early, but don't you worry about sending your brand new drivers to college? We have been lucky. Four drivers and only one minor fender bender. It would have scared me to death to send an inexperienced driver to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was really weird moving here from a state where kids drive earlier. My kids had permits at 14. They had driver's licenses at 15 years and 9 months. Not permits. Unrestricted licenses. At 18 they had been driving for 4 years. I understand that kids here don't drive as early, but don't you worry about sending your brand new drivers to college? We have been lucky. Four drivers and only one minor fender bender. It would have scared me to death to send an inexperienced driver to college.

At 14 my kids can't reach the pedals