My little boy makes friends by giving away his toys

[Anonymous]

My 3 yo DS is social and loves to make new friends. I’ve noticed that his way of making friends is to give them his toys. So for example yesterday we were at the airport waiting for our bags. There was another little boy a little older than him, and he really wanted to play with him. So he asked me to fish out his favorite truck from my purse. I gave him the truck, and he immediately gave the truck to the little boy. Then he asked for a less favorite truck and he took that for himself and they began to play, and they had a grand time. This type of behavior repeats itself over and over again. Basically he relies on giving a toy to someone as a way to make a friend. I was just wondering if this is normal behavior for that age or if it is something that I should not encourage. I guess the best way to describe it is that he kind of uses the toy as a crutch for making the friendship and also I don’t want him to feel like he has to give something to someone in order to make a friend.

[Anonymous]

I think it's sweet. He probably doesn't think of it as giving it away-- he's too young to appreciate time and forever-- but thinks of it as sharing, with only an awareness of the present moment.

[Anonymous]

He's sharing. He's finding something he knows the other kid will like, in order to start an interaction. Aside from not wanting my kid to give away toys, I think he sounds like a really nice and friendly kid. I would tell him not to actually give the toys away. But of course, I would encourage the sharing.

[Anonymous]

Do you get the toy back at the end of the play session? If so, I don't see a problem here. It sounds like he is modeling what happens when an adult engages him in play by initiating joint attention to some activity, object, etc. This strikes me as an age-appropriate version of what adults do when they focus on common interests or experiences in forming social connections.

[Anonymous]

OP- between the other parent and myself, we always do get the toys back!

[Anonymous]

That’s adorable. He seems like a very special child.

[Anonymous]

He sounds adorable.

[Anonymous]

Awesome! My kids tried to make friends by taking toys. Trust me, your kid's way is better.

[Anonymous]

What a great little human! This is probably just his personality. I've met a few adults like this in my life, but they are very very rare. They chose "helping" professions like medicine, nursing, social work and enjoy seeing other people's happiness.

[Anonymous]

That's fine for that age.

[Anonymous]

Your title is misleading. YOur kid is sharing, not giving away toys.

It's normal. Parallal play starts to decrease at this age and shared play starts to increase.

[Anonymous]

As long as it doesn’t cause issues, like a tantrum on either side, it’s fine. I know that my kid would flip the hell out if a kid gave him a toy just to take it back. I rather you not.

[froggymom]

What a great little guy. As long as you get the toys back, it is fine.I think it is just a way to say"Do you want to play with me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a great little human! This is probably just his personality. I've met a few adults like this in my life, but they are very very rare. They chose "helping" professions like medicine, nursing, social work and enjoy seeing other people's happiness.

NP here—just wanted to say I thought this was a really nice comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as it doesn’t cause issues, like a tantrum on either side, it’s fine. I know that my kid would flip the hell out if a kid gave him a toy just to take it back. I rather you not.

OMG! You need to adjust your attitude since it is obviously rubbing off on your child.

Use OP's child as a role model. Teach your child to be social and return toys - for goodness sake!