Starting K in FCPS - can we request a classmate?

[Anonymous]

My DD is starting K this year and there are a few friends from her preschool starting at the same school. Is there a way to request that she be placed in a class with one of her friends (it doesn't matter which one)?

[Anonymous]

How big is the school? Chances are she'll be in a class with one of her friends, if there are a few at the school.

Honestly having a friend in her class will make a difference for about 2 days, after that they are all best friends with each other. Maybe not even that long since the PTA usually sets up playdates over the summer.

in other words, I wouldn't bother. Time to practice the skills in pulling up the helicopter.

[Anonymous]

It's a huge school with several kindergarten classes.

[Anonymous]

I guess you could request it. I would not. In all likelihood, there may be another friend in the class-but, you do not want her to be dependent on that friend. All the kids are new to the school. She'll make friends.

[Anonymous]

At our school you can put in a request to be with friends though I do not do so

[Anonymous]

I don't know if they will honor the request, but speaking from experience, it won't matter or it might help her if she doesn't. DD who can be timid went to K with six other kids from her preschool. It turns out she was the only one from that group put in a class by herself. When I realized that, my heart sank, I thought she would be so upset and I had wanted her to have a familiar face in her class.

It was nothing, absolutely nothing. K teachers know that kids are a little shy coming into a new school so they do a lot of get-to-know you activities in the beginning. She was fine. It also helped expand her friend group because she had friends from class and met new friends from other classes through her old preschool friends.

[Anonymous]

I know of one principal would would take the requests, and make sure they were not honored, as she wanted the kids to socialize more than with just people they know.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a bad idea on your part. You are still in the preschool mindset. Your child is joining FCPS -- this is the machine. Your child is now a cog. I realize that is not very comforting to you, but it is the way it is.

This is not summer camp. There are bigger considerations at play here. Don't make this request. It sounds self-centered and self-important. None of the other kids in kindergarten know each other... it is assumed. Your child will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a bad idea on your part. You are still in the preschool mindset. Your child is joining FCPS -- this is the machine. Your child is now a cog. I realize that is not very comforting to you, but it is the way it is.

This is not summer camp. There are bigger considerations at play here. Don't make this request. It sounds self-centered and self-important. None of the other kids in kindergarten know each other... it is assumed. Your child will be ok.

+1. My kids from Lees Corner ES (K-2) to a Oak Hill Center (3-6) with maybe 20 kids from their ES, spread across multiple AAP classes To Carson, which pulls AAP kids in from well more than a dozen base ESs— with most of GE Oak Hill going to Franklin and AAP Oak Hill splitting between Franklin LLIV and Carson AAP. One kid went to TJ, where Carson sends a bunch of kids but most kids start over friend wise. The other to Chantilly. Carson also sends kids to base HS at Westfields, South Lakes and Oakton. So DD and her 4 friends are heading to 4 HSs.

Some places have these nice straight feeder patterns. But most don’t. And AAP makes it so much worse. You kid will have to learn to walk into a new school without his BFF, and then maybe end up in school with them down the road, only to discover they don’t have much in common any more. The schools like kids to come in and make new friends the first year. They do not love kids pairing of which can stop them from making friends with many classmates.

It’s the principals call. I have been in schools where principals have said that they will consider iseperating two kids who have big issues (history of bullying and separate them) but not to request to be placed with certain friends. And principals who allow it, but most kids are not placed with the requested friend. So many, in fact, it looks like the purposefully separate kids.

I know it’s hard, but it helps you kid a lot in getting integrated to the school to make new friends in the classroom, and not separate themselves out with one kid. Take your kid to the pre school open house and lots of schools have meet and greets for incoming K students. He can still ride the bus with his friend, do after school activities, have play dates. But it really is in your kids best interest to back off and not make this request.

Now, if the school does a Tell us About your kid for place,ent— do it an complete it honestly so you get a K teacher who is a good match for your kid.

I know it is scary. But honestly— it will work out.

[Anonymous]

I like to just let the chips fall where they may because I'm afraid if I try to control anything too much, it might negatively impact my daughter in some other way. For example, I was annoyed that my 1st grader didn't get put in a class this year with ANY of her friends from Kindergarten. Of the four or so girls who all hang out together, three of them ended up together in one class and my daughter was put in a different one with no "friends." And I found out later that initially she WAS put with that group of girls b/c the teachers knew they all were friends and thought it'd be nice to keep them together but then, in order to balance out the number of girls in each class, someone had to move and it ended up being my daughter.

Well, turns out that she got one of the best teachers in first grade as a result of that switch and she has made new friends and thrived this year. So it ended up being a good situation after all.

I have found in the past that when I meddle too much with things in life (all things in life...not just school related), that had I just left things alone, everything still would have turned out okay or even better. So now I try to just let it ride.