If you aren't close with your siblings...

[Anonymous]

DH and I are not really closed with our siblings. Our siblings aren't the easiest people to get along with, don't plan on having kids (we have two toddlers), and generally make for tense, stressful social events. Think multiple meltdowns with tears and shouting, throwing carving knives across the dining room during holiday dinners, and lots of comparisons and competition on their end. These are not exaggerations, sadly.

We don't really let it bother us much as we don't see them frequently if we can help it. DH's mom seemed to always expect this sort of discord would happen based on how she talks about their childhood, but my mom can't seem to let go that me and my sibling won't ever be best friends like she is with hers. We sort of just deal.

But we are also getting to an age where we are noticing that a lot of our friends are starting to have kids and rather than us becoming closer which was what we sort of expected/hoped, it's causing us to lose out on the community we had built. They have more local family (I have cousins I adore, but they live five states away, DH has none at all) and are doing more and more with their own siblings whom they are extremely close with, getting more time with their parents who are now grandparents, etc. It's always been more of a struggle here in D.C. to plan events with friends because of work and the commute and just how schedules are in the DMV, but now it's like... we have to plan two months in advance if we wanna see anyone and even then, now that we all have kids, that can be cancelled last minute.

So now we're suddenly out family AND friends. Our kids aren't school-age to make friends with other, more local parents. We're some of the youngest people in our neighborhood, most people are 10-20 years older than us. Neither DH or I are stay-at-home parents to meet through weekday events, etc. I'm completely at a loss as to how to make new close, lean-on-me friends in a city where everyone is just too busy or too far.

This has been exacerbated recently by visiting my best friend in her not-as-big-city and meeting her crazy supportive friends family who get together weekly despite busy jobs, kids (they take the kids!) and commutes. I feel like we have no one in our lives to build a 'family' like that with.

[Anonymous]

The best way to meet people is through parent/child activities. Since your kids are not yet in school enroll in a YMCA parent /child program or some other parent/preschooler program. Plenty of these programs run on weekends which will fit with your schedule.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same situation but decided to make our own family memories as just us. Some of our fondest memories are pictures of us with the baby discovering a new place or visiting an old place with a new perspective.

People in this area move away, divorce, get new jobs , so it’s best not to get too attached. Once your kids start school, your social dynamic will change forever, enjoy this unfiltered time together now.

[Anonymous]

I've met the majority of my closest friends as an adult through work. Is there anyone at your job you can try and build a connection with? If so, try inviting them for a coffee break, or lunch. Then progress from there to meeting for brunch or something on the weekend. Then next thing you know, a friendship is born.

[Anonymous]

Move to Charleston! Everyone is friendly and most people move without family here to start! People are moving for a quality of life and fun, recipe for making friends.

[Anonymous]

Join a church. If you're not religious, join a Unitarian Universalist church. Instant community.