SAHM or Private School? What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Currently I work from home and my young children are in a fabulous daycare situation. My WAHM pay is enough to cover daycare. But, the pay is not steady. I can usually set my own hours, so picking kids up from school at 3:00 pm is workable for me most days.

Here is my dilema: Next year my DD is old enough for PK-3 in DC schools, 2nd child will be ready the year after. Or neighborhood school is not so great. And, given the lottery process I'm not going to count on OOB or Charters.

So, I can either go back to full time work and we can pay for the kids to go to private school. When I was working, I think this is what we always assumed we would do. But, now that I have a flexible job that I love, I'd really rather not go back to the office grind. I think it is better for the kids for me to be home more, and I'd like to not have them in aftercare at school (whether private or public). Currently, I can always stay home with them if they are sick, I can usually have dinner ready without things being crazy, and I'm available to go on school trips and such.

But, unless I go back to my full time salary, I don't think we can afford private school.

So, what would you choose:

1) continue the WAH situation, and send kids to the best "free" option I can find. This allows me to be much more involved in their lives.

2) Go back to work and send them to private school.

And, if I go with option 2, how do families with two working parents handle school pick-up and drop off. Day care is downtown, so that is easy, but most private schools are not near the office, so even with after care, getting to pick up on time seems like a haul.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'd keep the flexibility of your WAHM position. Try out the lotteries, OOB & charter for preK3, if you don't "win", keep the oldest in daycare for the preK year, try lotteries again for preK3 (youngest) and preK4 (oldest). Again, if don't win, stick with the preschool. Next year, try lotteries for preK4 (youngest) and K (oldest).

One thing about the charter lotteries is that they try hard to admit sibling once one child in family is admitted. I had two siblings in K/2nd grade lotteries for this year, and got offers for both from YuYing, Stokes, and Haynes (probably, I was offered K and told if I accepted there would be a high chance the 2nd would get it, but I didn't accept).

I don't know about privates, but a lot of the problems I encountered in DCPS were in after care. Having young kids in care for long long days makes everyone very cranky.

[Anonymous]

Apply for everything, DCPS OOB, charter, private, etc... Make your decision based on your options. The stress of deciding what to do is futile if none of the things you stress over never materialize.

We applied for EVERYTHING. Had great private options and got our first DCPS OOB choice. Went with private but the commute takes some getting used to. One parent drops off and the other picks up. The parent who picks up can go in early and get off early so DS is not at school all day. good luck.

FWIW... going back to an office from WAH was a real ADJUSTMENT. It is actually like pins in the eyeballs BUTTT it is the only way DS can go to private.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the encouragement.

@16:35 -- Pin to the eyeball indeed. I should have added to my original post that I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO AN OFFICE JOB!! But, I would feel like a selfish %$^@% if my job preference denied my kids a good education.

[Anonymous]

I would (and will) stay at home over being able to afford private school. There are options out there, and you have time before it gets really crucial. If you hate the public school where DC ends up, you can revisit it then, but I wouldn't go back to a job you don't want just to afford a private school you might not even need.

[Anonymous]

Any possibility of:

3) move to somewhere with great public schools and continue to work as you prefer

[Anonymous]

Apply to several privates, charters, OOB and see what you get and take it from there. Charters and OOB do not require parent interviews or playdates, correct? The private application will.

[Anonymous]

you've got a good chance at appletree in columbia heights. they typically dip pretty far into their wait list. it will buy you a few more years to make this decision.

[Anonymous]

Same is true of Bridges PCS in Petworth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the encouragement.

@16:35 -- Pin to the eyeball indeed. I should have added to my original post that I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO AN OFFICE JOB!! But, I would feel like a selfish %$^@% if my job preference denied my kids a good education.

16:35 here... a good education starts at home. Even in the "lesser known" DCPS and charters, kids with smart, involved parents do very well. Even though we chose private, I don't believe for a second that my kids are getting a better education than some of my friends' children in public, charter or catholic. My kids have access to more but that isn't something you can't have for a fraction of what we're paying.

Give yourself a break.

[Anonymous]

But, I would feel like a selfish %$^@% if my job preference denied my kids a good education.

I wouldn't worry about that. It's not a choice between a "good education" and a bad one. It's a choice between a prestigious school with great facilities and a lot of perks and advantages to it, and a school that provides a "good" education but is not going to look and feel like it was tailor-made to provide the students with every possible advantage.

I don't even have a desire to be a stay-at-home (I work at home but with a fairly high work load) but I cannot see changing from a lifestyle that you love and that really works for your family for one that you won't like-- just to get the difference between schools that serve many kids quite well and those that are the epitome of WOW.

Some things that people don't necessarily think about:

--will private mean that you not only have to work outside, but that you have a tough commute and morning/evening rush that stress you out?
--will private mean not only that you have to work for tuition, but that you have no funds for good summer camps, family vacations, and activities that your whole family can do together?
--what will your child care situation be on sick days when you are back at work? Will it be hard to cover those days?
--does private school interfere with your retirement savings plans, to the point that this is an additional worry for you, and you feel like your kids will have to care for you and get no inheritance (that matters to some people)?
--if you went back to work, would your job and your spouse's be secure enough to ensure that you would ALWAYS be able to afford the school, or could a RIF result in your kids having to leave?
--What is it that you think you're getting out of private school? The best that money can buy, or the only way to guide your children to the future that they deserve?
--Would your kids rather have private school or afternoons with you?

If you are considering this because you feel that you are obligated to give your children this option no matter what the cost to you, I would say that you should think twice.

The only reason, imho, to consider this change is if you truly believe that the other options available to you will not give your children a high-quality education in a good environment.

[Anonymous]

Just FYI, OP, if your child gets an OOB slot at good DCPS school (not just charter), as mine did for this year, his/her sibling has a prefernce for getting in OOB when she/he is ready to go to school. I though OOB was a real gamble, but, not only were we lucky that DC got a great number, I have spoken to many people who had not-so-great wait list #s and still got in to first or second OOB choice as people get accepted to private school, move, or change plans in other ways. Definitely apply to everything - Private, OOB and charter, but in MHO, there is not substitute for the time you can devote to your kids at this age, the fexibility you can offer (i.e. sick kid) and the less-stressed atmosphere you can provide. Not many families have the luxury to have a parent stay/work at home; I think those of us who do are extremely fortunate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any possibility of:

3) move to somewhere with great public schools and continue to work as you prefer

That does not really answer her question. Obviously, her husband has a job, so they can't just up and move. And, if you mean moving to the suburbs, aren't you just dooming the poor husband to a long commute and potentially undermining her ability to actually do her work -- i.e., I work from home in DC. But, if I lived in Rockville I would not be able to work from home.

[Anonymous]

I am a WOHM - and if I were in your situation, and my husband were on board, I would totally make it work to keep the current flexible situation you have. You can supplement whatever you feel DC is not getting at school - museum trips, home instruction, whatever, and the added time with you and your ability to help out in the schools would be a benefit to both your family and others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any possibility of:

3) move to somewhere with great public schools and continue to work as you prefer

That does not really answer her question. Obviously, her husband has a job, so they can't just up and move. And, if you mean moving to the suburbs, aren't you just dooming the poor husband to a long commute and potentially undermining her ability to actually do her work -- i.e., I work from home in DC. But, if I lived in Rockville I would not be able to work from home.

Not to mention that there are a lot of overrated public schools in Montgomery County... Ever heard of the red schools/green schools and the downcounty consortium? Ugh.