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School Fit and Reality
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Anonymous
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You can think the school is a great fit for you child whether your DC is 2 or 12, but if the school does not think your child is a good fit or there are too many other children who "fit" but have other things going for them that tip the scale, then it doesn't matter does it. I hate hearing and reading about how you have to find the right fit. Well, you know what I did but the school (Sidwell) didn't agree. Not much I can do about that.
Send my child to NCRC or similar you say. Sure. Right. Have you seen their application? Name, address, playdate. How is the world are they supposed to evaluate your child during that brief visit well enough to know that SHE is the right fit but not another. BS. Starting from NCRC and similar it comes down to your name, address, connections, your profession, your ability to commit time, your ability and willingness to donate money, etc. and diversity and all that jazz. If you're in the circle then yes, you find the right fit for your child, you apply, and you get accepted somewhere. For the rest, there are those one or two spots that your DC and the hundreds of other applicants are competing for--you know to round out the class. |
Anonymous
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Amen to that.
I have found three "great fit's" for my pre-k daughter, but because we do not know anyone in this town, therefore, I'm sure those three won't think we are "great fits" for them...lol. I've stopped stressing. What will be, will be....and that's it. |
Anonymous
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"Starting from NCRC and similar it comes down to your name, address, connections, your profession, your ability to commit time, your ability and willingness to donate money, etc. and diversity and all that jazz. If you're in the circle then yes, you find the right fit for your child, you apply, and you get accepted somewhere. For the rest, there are those one or two spots that your DC and the hundreds of other applicants are competing for--you know to round out the class"
I disagree. We relocated to DC and applied to these schools - we did not even have an address at that point - did not know a soul in the area, let alone affiliated to any school. We are educated but not from prestigious backgrounds or schools, we can afford the tuition but are by no means "rich". Our DC was accepted at 2 of the top 3. Maybe we are just part of the lucky few - but I really think, based on the families I have met so far - that it's just a crapshoot. Sure their will be a handful of bigwig families in every class - but my gut tells me its just a numbers game. That said - of course the kids need to be smart, well adjusted and personable at the playdate. But I really think that's it. |
Anonymous
| I agree with the last person. It is just a matter of the numbers and luck. If you really want to get your child into a private school, you need to explore as many options as you can in the DC area. For example, have you looked at Capitol Hill Day School -- it is great but seldom mentioned in any of these forums. Also Aidan Montessori is very good and a lot of children from there go onto Sidwell and Beauvoir I've heard from my friends. |
Anonymous
| Thanks PP, but I think your situation might be more of an anomaly. I have pretty much accepted that fact that my child probably won't get in to any of our favorites, and that's ok. We are just average people. We both work, don't have great titles, don't make a lot of money and really don't have anything to offer a school (aside from our tuition payment and our time). The schools we have applied to have shown little to no interest in us whatsoever. Our current Director has received no phone calls regarding our child. I have accepted that fact that we will probably receive some very thin envelopes and that's ok, we'll send DC to the nearest public (which is somewhat questionable) and hope to make better friends next year. |
Anonymous
Oh my God, this is a horrible attitude to have. At least, try to wait until you get a response from the schools that you applied to. |
Anonymous
This is exactly what you should not be thinking! Again, the PP is right - it is a "numbers" game. You shouldn't put yourselves down just because these schools do not have enough room to accommodate everyone who wants their children to go there. This is so sad to read. |
Anonymous
I am being realistic. Honestly, with the application numbers and application pool chances are small as we really do not have much to offer a school. If I were an admissions director and I looked as us I would probably toss the application aside in favor of a child who comes from a family with means to donate or a family who has someone the school knows to write a personal recommendation. This isn't a sad post and I'm not sad about the situation, just realistic. If I am proven wrong, then great for my child... |
Anonymous
| But then what explains the families who do have children accepted to the school who are exactly as you describe yourself? If what you are saying is true - 100% of the students would be from wealthy, prominent families. That is NOT the case - I know - we are not a prominent family. Our child got a spot and some family with more money and clout than us - did not. You have to stop putting yourself down - it's just a matter of luck. |
Anonymous
Oh please, please do not think this way. You have something to contribute to the school - your child. I am one of those people to really beleive in the statement that "hope is not a strategy", but I also think that you cannot leave it outside the door either. The fact that you think that your child's application deserves to be "tossed" is very troubling. I really hope that you are not expressing these sentiments to your child. Indulge me, while I share a story with you. I moved to this country in November 1987 2 days after my 17th birthday, the term "just got off the boat" applied to me, except I came on a plane. I came from a very small rural town in a developing country. When I arrived all my mother's friends told her that I would have to go back to high school (my home country had a totally difference edcation system), she said not. I remember clearly, that day my mother took me to the board of ed in our local city and told them that she wanted to enroll me in college. The first person she spoke to said no, that I had to go to high school for a year. Mom explained that I already had a HS diploma and asked to speak to someone else. The other person explained that since the state college did not require the SAT or other standardized I could go, if I passed the "placement test". Well, I passed it and I went and graduated from college. After college I applied to law schools and again the naysayers came out. "You will never get into so and so school" "start off small and build on it" blah, blah, blah. Well I applied to the top school and I got in. I am not saying that I have not had set backs in life, but becasue I aimed so high in some of the things that I have done, even my consolation prizes have been pretty good. The point of all this - you have to think big, you cannot assume defeat even before you join the fight and you owe it to your child to teach him/her that. You cannot "settle" for a certain status in life just because people around your imply that you do not belong anywhere else. Well, I am done. Good luck to you and your family. |
Anonymous
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"Oh please, please do not think this way. You have something to contribute to the school - your child. I am one of those people to really beleive in the statement that "hope is not a strategy", but I also think that you cannot leave it outside the door either. The fact that you think that your child's application deserves to be "tossed" is very troubling. I really hope that you are not expressing these sentiments to your child."
Oh my goodness, absolutely not. We never discuss schools with our child at all. As far as DC knows, Mommy and Daddy went to look at some new schools and we arranged some playdates with new friends. I would never put any weight on my child's shoulders. DC is blissfully unaware and we intend to keep it what way. I do not believe my child's application should be tossed, after all, I adore my child. But, looking at the application from the perspective of stranger in admissions, I would toss it in favor of an affluent family or a diverse family or a family that has a personal recommendation. Like I said earlier, we are just a happy, average, hardworking couple with nothing to offer other than perhaps a very small donation (and I mean really, really tiny - just a token to show we want to participate) and our time (which is actually precious to me). Thank you for sharing your story, it was lovely. You mother must have been very proud. As for being realistic...look, we went on all the tours. I heard the numbers during the playdates, x applicants for x spots. The math is there, fact. My child is sweet and we are a happy family but that doesn't get you invited in the door. |
Anonymous
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I know the feelings the OP is sharing here. It's hard not to feel that way because there are so many applicants that are qualified. We applied to preschool twice (rejected 1 year, reapplied the second year). We applied to Pre-K and then K (didn't get in, reapplied for K and was accepted).
If your child is not outgoing, the play visit will not help you out. That was a major problem for us. Most of our neighbors/friends who were accepted the first time around have very outgoing children who don't feel shy talking to a complete stranger straight away - a big plus in the play visit because they can get an idea of your child's personality. Don't feel too disappointed, you can always reapply next year if it doesn't work out this year. Your child will be happy in any number of schools - they don't have to get into one of the best private schools in order to be happy. |
Anonymous
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To 17:27. OP here. Thanks - couldn't have said it better myself. The numbers really do speak for themselves.
Like PP, I am not at all sad about this. It's reality. It's fine. |
Anonymous
so true. My DD was accepted into the school of our choice. We do not have lots of money, even applied for aid, didn't get it, but we tried. My child did not even go to preschool. I ws told, no way, you will not get in, well I did. I know of another family that is loaded, sent child to best preschool, had, still has nanny, did not get in. I really did not see why they would not accept my child. She is perfect! 
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