Best Resources for Getting Started with Divorce - DC

[Anonymous]

Divorce is in my future. I'm overwhelmed, and don't have friends going through this who can offer guidance. What would you recommend I read, and who should I talk to?

It is likely to be contentious. I'm just looking to get a fair/reasonable settlement and custody arrangement, and based on prior behavior, I think my spouse will fight dirty/dishonestly. I need good advice, specific to DC.

Can you please help orient me to this process? TIA!

[Anonymous]

The Women's Center offers free monthly seminars on divorce. They cover everything, answer questions, etc. And men are allowed to attend.

[Anonymous]

the women's center offers monthly seminars on divorce. they are free and open to all.

[coconut1974]

I'm not the OP but I'm in the same boat... need good resources for starting research/process for divorce in NOVA. Thank you for the heads up about The Women's Center. Just looked at their website and they look really impressive!

[Anonymous]

Where are you seeing free seminars? I see a bunch on their website but they’re all $35-50 to attend.

[Anonymous]

I'm seeing very few options in April-May.

[coconut1974]

I called the Women's Center yesterday (thanks again for the recommendations). I asked them about if there are any additional courses offered other than what's on the website. The person I spoke with said that you can call the classes coordinator to find out about additional options for courses that may not be listed publicly.

[Anonymous]

coconut1974 wrote:I called the Women's Center yesterday (thanks again for the recommendations). I asked them about if there are any additional courses offered other than what's on the website. The person I spoke with said that you can call the classes coordinator to find out about additional options for courses that may not be listed publicly.

OP, I am the PP from your other thread on resources for children that suggested proactive counseling, and I too went to the Women's Center. They were extremely helpful. I divorced in NoVa also. They give good references to local services that help with financial planning, legal planning, medical considerations, etc. They also have good support groups for the emotional part that can be rocky to navigate.

I don't know if you anticipate a contentious divorce or not, but it also helped me to have resources ready for two plans: a mediated settlement, and a litigated divorce. Research resources for mediators, their styles, and how that would work if you and your STBX can come to a settlement. Start thinking of this early. At the same time, prepare for the possibility of a major fight, and the worse. What resources would you need for both? What can you afford? What can you influence at this point in the process to help all of your family move on without too much despair? Divorce is often messy, but it doesn't always have to be. As much as you can put work in on the front end to help position yourself with resources proactively, I think you begin bringing that expertise into the circle early and it helps to guide the decision-making process for both parties.

The only thing I will say to keep in mind - when you do this as the only person preparing for divorce, once you are ready, you will have to factor in reaction time from your STBX. Not to say that it isn't smart to prepare independently, but must also factor in the monkey wrench of how someone may react when all ducks are in a row. It really helps if you build in opportunities for goodwill, but also protection against potential sabotage or angered destruction by an emotional ex. You want to consider legal, emotional, educational, medical approaches that can sync in their respective guidance on how to best do that for you and your child, and begin trying to implement that. It is a very tricky dance, but it can be done with proper planning and a vision for a healthier future. Good luck.