One kid in AAP school, other kid in Local Elementary

[Anonymous]

DS8 (second grade) got a letter accepting him to AAP center. DS9 (in third grade) will be attending the local elementary.

I'm sure this may happen where older kid is in AAP and the younger is, well, younger, so not in the AAP center yet. But I do wonder about the dynamic when the younger one is in AAP. DS9 is having some difficulties in school, and we're undergoing an IEP evaluation, so he's a little sensitive about school right now. Meanwhile, I really don't want to hold DS8 back strictly because I think DS9's feelings may be hurt.

Does anyone have a similar situation? Or any practical advice about two different elementary schools?

Also, we're not sure if we'll accept the placement for next year for a variety of different reasons. If we don't, he can go next year, right? If I submit the acceptance letter and the Reactivation form?

[Anonymous]

My kids are younger but from my experience in my family and from my friends' families as children, being in different schools can be a good thing. Reducing competition by having children in separate sports and hobbies seems to be helpful, and the same may be true for schools as well.

[Anonymous]

My third grader is at the AAP center and my kindergartener is at the base school.

Does your base school have local level IV? If mine did, I wouldn’t have sent the oldest to the center.
Do you feel comfortable in the advanced math option offered at your base? I also didn’t feel confident that advanced math would definitely be offered on a consistently basis at our base for all of grades 3-6.

[Anonymous]

Send the younger one. I agree that separating them is probably better than having them in the same school and having the 8 year old exceed or compared to the less academic 9 year old. I wouldn't talk about it. I have two kids - one in public and one in private and we just say it's because that is what is best for each of them. It's been a few years and we literally never talk about it, except when one of my kids has a day off and brags to the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS8 (second grade) got a letter accepting him to AAP center. DS9 (in third grade) will be attending the local elementary.

I'm sure this may happen where older kid is in AAP and the younger is, well, younger, so not in the AAP center yet. But I do wonder about the dynamic when the younger one is in AAP. DS9 is having some difficulties in school, and we're undergoing an IEP evaluation, so he's a little sensitive about school right now. Meanwhile, I really don't want to hold DS8 back strictly because I think DS9's feelings may be hurt.

Does anyone have a similar situation? Or any practical advice about two different elementary schools?

Also, we're not sure if we'll accept the placement for next year for a variety of different reasons. If we don't, he can go next year, right? If I submit the acceptance letter and the Reactivation form?

Once you have your older son's issues figured out and he receives appropriate mediation/accommodations, you may find him able to handle AAP himself.

In the mean time, downplay it. Don't make a big deal and send your second son to the school that makes sense for him- just as you are doing with your older son.

[Anonymous]

We have a neighbor with twins. One child has made it to the AAP and the other did not. (They are now in high school). The parents decided not to send the first child to AAP . Our school has AAP so they would have been in the same school. At some point I asked why they made this decision, they said their child actually asked not to be placed in AAP. She figured it would be hard on the twin who had some learning disability and they always studied together. I almost cried when I heard this. I think this was a small sacrifice for a life-long support and partnership which will have much bigger benefits in the long run. By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.

[Anonymous]

We have a neighbor with twins. One child has made it to the AAP and the other did not. (They are now in high school). The parents decided not to send the first child to AAP . Our school has AAP so they would have been in the same school. At some point I asked why they made this decision, they said their child actually asked not to be placed in AAP. She figured it would be hard on the twin who had some learning disability and they always studied together. I almost cried when I heard this. I think this was a small sacrifice for a life-long support and partnership which will have much bigger benefits in the long run. By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.

[Anonymous]

I would not separate them. It's not worth it. It takes a toll on their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not separate them. It's not worth it. It takes a toll on their relationship.

Holding one back because of the limitations of the other will also take a huge toll on their relationship. Several examples of this in my extended family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not separate them. It's not worth it. It takes a toll on their relationship.

Really? And you base this opinion on???? I had one in gen ed (#1) and one went to the center (#2). It has not affected their relationship. I never gave the AAP kid the impression that he was better or special. In fact, he was jealous of #1 at the non-AAP school b/c #1 had less homework.

They are two different people. Each gets what each needs.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others that said to separate them. WE know of a family where the younger child went to the AAP center and the older one stayed at the base school in GE. It seems to be best for everyone, and less comparison/competition bc of the different environments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor with twins. One child has made it to the AAP and the other did not. (They are now in high school). The parents decided not to send the first child to AAP . Our school has AAP so they would have been in the same school. At some point I asked why they made this decision, they said their child actually asked not to be placed in AAP. She figured it would be hard on the twin who had some learning disability and they always studied together. I almost cried when I heard this. I think this was a small sacrifice for a life-long support and partnership which will have much bigger benefits in the long run. By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.

I see what you did there. Twins story, double posting this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor with twins. One child has made it to the AAP and the other did not. (They are now in high school). The parents decided not to send the first child to AAP . Our school has AAP so they would have been in the same school. At some point I asked why they made this decision, they said their child actually asked not to be placed in AAP. She figured it would be hard on the twin who had some learning disability and they always studied together. I almost cried when I heard this. I think this was a small sacrifice for a life-long support and partnership which will have much bigger benefits in the long run. By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.

I see what you did there. Twins story, double posting this thread.

Ha ha!! (Was a good story, though. I wasn't upset over reading it twice.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a neighbor with twins. One child has made it to the AAP and the other did not. (They are now in high school). The parents decided not to send the first child to AAP . Our school has AAP so they would have been in the same school. At some point I asked why they made this decision, they said their child actually asked not to be placed in AAP. She figured it would be hard on the twin who had some learning disability and they always studied together. I almost cried when I heard this. I think this was a small sacrifice for a life-long support and partnership which will have much bigger benefits in the long run. By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.

b]By the way, both kids are doing great in high school.[/b]


Not sure this is something to be proud of! A child who made it to AAP was denied advanced academics opportunity! Given opportunity maybe smarter kid would have done much better than doing great!! Will they do the same if one kid gets in to MIT and other to local community?
Why would an adult take 7/8 year old opinion on if he/she needs to be in AAP? Seems like a excuse or guilty feeling parents have!