I'm depressed - my parents have sex more than we do!

[Anonymous]

Yesterday I was at my parents home and needed to get something in their bedroom. Hanging on the headboard were two hand towels and on an end table was a bottle of lube. I laughed and was pleasantly surprised given they are in their mid 60's. My mom and I are pretty open with each other so I jokingly made mention of it to her "so mom, what have you and dad been up to?" and she said they they "fool around" at least twice a week sometimes more. That's more than me and my DH though I didn't tell her that. When I told my DH the story he said he'd be surprised if his parents ever had sex but that he now had something to look forward to. Are my parents active libidos one of a kind or is there something to really look forward to in retirement?

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you having more sex? He rejects when you initiate?

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to imagine asking my mom about lube on her bedside table, ha. I’d think “good for them” and promptly put it out of my mind, never to be spoken of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday I was at my parents home and needed to get something in their bedroom. Hanging on the headboard were two hand towels and on an end table was a bottle of lube. I laughed and was pleasantly surprised given they are in their mid 60's. My mom and I are pretty open with each other so I jokingly made mention of it to her "so mom, what have you and dad been up to?" and she said they they "fool around" at least twice a week sometimes more. That's more than me and my DH though I didn't tell her that. When I told my DH the story he said he'd be surprised if his parents ever had sex but that he now had something to look forward to. Are my parents active libidos one of a kind or is there something to really look forward to in retirement?

Why are you surprised? Sounds like they have a good solid relationship and are probably not as tired dealing with the work of a family. People in their 60s aren't that old!

[Anonymous]

My parents are in their 60s and I just don't ever need to know if my dad is hammering my mom up the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are in their 60s and I just don't ever need to know if my dad is hammering my mom up the ass.

Haha. “Mom, what’s up with the lube and two hand towels?” Never.

But, good for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: she said they they "fool around" at least twice a week sometimes more. That's more than me and my DH though I didn't tell her that. When I told my DH the story he said he'd be surprised if his parents ever had sex but that he now had something to look forward to. Are my parents active libidos one of a kind or is there something to really look forward to in retirement?

They probably aren't one of a kind, but you and your husband probably need to cultivate your sex life. It's not just going to magically spark itself when you hit 50 or whatever. If you both have low libidos and are happy with that, then there's really no problem. Keep on keeping on. But, if one or both of you are unhappy with your sex life, then whoever has the lowest interest needs to make a conscious effort to try to get his or her own motor running -- it's like exercise, sometimes tough to get started, but generally rewarding if you make an effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having more sex? He rejects when you initiate?

OP here - we are good for one to two times a week. With three children ages four and under many nights I just crawl into bed.

[Anonymous]

I'd only be concerned if there were three towels on the headboard!

[Anonymous]

My parents are also in the mid-60's and I would be very surprised if they weren't having a good amount of sex. They are healthy, pretty fit and very affectionate. I doubt they are having sex more than we are but if they are congrats!

[sandmguy]

Anonymous wrote:I'd only be concerned if there were three towels on the headboard!

Maybe Mom is a squirter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having more sex? He rejects when you initiate?

OP here - we are good for one to two times a week. With three children ages four and under many nights I just crawl into bed.

Then there is no mystery why your parents are having more. Why be depressed over your own decision to prioritize other things over sex? Either accept your decision, or change up your priorities. Nothing worse than somebody who complains about their own actions (or inactions) but makes no changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having more sex? He rejects when you initiate?

OP here - we are good for one to two times a week. With three children ages four and under many nights I just crawl into bed.

Then there is no mystery why your parents are having more. Why be depressed over your own decision to prioritize other things over sex? Either accept your decision, or change up your priorities. Nothing worse than somebody who complains about their own actions (or inactions) but makes no changes.

OP - I'm not depressed in a medical way - frankly its more humorous than anything. I'm pretty happy with my love life given all of the chaos I've helped create.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you having more sex? He rejects when you initiate?

OP here - we are good for one to two times a week. With three children ages four and under many nights I just crawl into bed.

Don't be depressed. You are having sex 1-2x/week, and you have multiple little children. They are WORK. No wonder you are tired.

Make sure you carve some time out to have you time, though ... either a weekend/week away without the kids, date night, or regularly have them spend a night with your mom (her choice of night, because, hey, you don't want to mess up her sex schedule). Then when they are away make use of the time.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

And I love that you can talk to your mom! Awesome.