Am I Insane for Wanting to Hire Household Help?

[Anonymous]

Our annual income is $180k from work, $90k from real estate, and $75k from other businesses. We also have 3 young children all under age 7. I am exhausted and feel we could really benefit from hiring one household employee maybe 20-30 hours per week for meal prep, regular cleaning, and errands (e.g. grocery shopping, booking appointments, coordinating weekly schedules). I only know of colleagues with higher HHI $450k+) hiring this type of help. However, I do not see how I can sustain this pace of day job, property management, and maintaining operations for the businesses without some help at home so I can actually spend fun quality time with DH and our 3 DCs. I feel on the brink of being stretched too thin. Is hiring help feasible or do I need to cut back in some other way?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you need one person do to all these things? We send out our laundry, have an excellent maid service, get groceries delivered, and have an au pair.

[Anonymous]

Obviously this depends on your existing expenses. And you don't need to go from 0 to 30 hours a week. Start with a cleaning service. Also, do people really hire out stuff like "booking appointments?" Like doctor's appointments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously this depends on your existing expenses. And you don't need to go from 0 to 30 hours a week. Start with a cleaning service. Also, do people really hire out stuff like "booking appointments?" Like doctor's appointments?

I'm guessing OP is so overwhelmed she really hasn't thought through what she needs and what's the most practical way to get this stuff done.

Hiring a person means managing a person, OP. That management is probably more work than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Get a weekly cleaner and get your groceries delivered. You'd be surprised at how much time you'll save.

[Anonymous]

Do you really have $20-30k per year to devote to this?

[Anonymous]

+1 on weekly cleaner and grocery delivery over hiring another person for all tasks. Most people tend to buy the same things
Also, find a good babysitter who can drive kids places etc and use for a few hours a week regardless if you have something specific planned--you'll start to develop habits that use up those childcare hours and add value/reduce stress in your life.
Also, consider getting more help on the real estate end. That you can likely write off against your rental income, whereas household help you wouldn't be able to.

[Anonymous]

Not crazy at all.

https://www.amazon.com/Housekeeper-Cheaper-Than-Divorce-Afford/dp/0967963605

The author of the above book says usually you can find a housekeeper who is good with the cleaning, or good with the cooking, but someone who can do both well is unusual. A housekeeper who can operate independently would be more expensive than someone who needs a lot of direction, but both routes are possible.

[Anonymous]

20-30 hours a week is a lot. Start with:

-1 time per week housecleaning
-Meal delivery (not prep like Blue Apron but a service that actually makes healthy meals and delivers them)

Much cheaper and you honestly can’t find what you’re looking for in one person anyway...

[Anonymous]

Totally reasonable to want help. And if you prioritize resources accordingly, it's affordable for your budget. I find dealing with all of the various ancillary services (house cleaners, meal service, grocery delivery, etc.) to be a huge headache rather than a simplification. You are trying to minimize your mental load, not add to it. I lucked out and found one really talented, kind and hard working person who is amazing. She cleans, runs errands, sorts mail, grocery shops, does laundry, handles dry cleaning and cares for my daughter like she's her own child. I pay her well. This streamlines my life and makes everything else manageable. I'm grateful for her everyday. Every family is different but this works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally reasonable to want help. And if you prioritize resources accordingly, it's affordable for your budget. I find dealing with all of the various ancillary services (house cleaners, meal service, grocery delivery, etc.) to be a huge headache rather than a simplification. You are trying to minimize your mental load, not add to it. I lucked out and found one really talented, kind and hard working person who is amazing. She cleans, runs errands, sorts mail, grocery shops, does laundry, handles dry cleaning and cares for my daughter like she's her own child. I pay her well. This streamlines my life and makes everything else manageable. I'm grateful for her everyday. Every family is different but this works for us.

Is this a big job at your house?

[Anonymous]

I use a virtual assistatn service (FancyHands). Great for schduling appointments and just making calls about stuff or researching things online. I never realized how much of my day was those little items,a nd often I'd thikn of them after the kids are in bed and it's too late to make such calls, so they'd end up on my list for the next day. Now I just assign those tasks as I think of them, and they do it the next morning.

Also get a cleaning service if you dont' already have one.

[Anonymous]

I think I'm the only person responding who actually has a housekeeper. Let me tell you, it is GLORIOUS! I have someone come each day from 12-5PM. I also have house cleaners come 2xs a month to deep clean. Here is what the housekeeper does:
-walks dog 1x when she arrives.
-does all grocery shopping
-does basic meal prep, including washing all produce, so anything I need to grab is ready to be used.
-Does all Costco and target runs
-Keeps closets and drawers organized
-does lite cleaning (dishes load/unload, makes beds, wiping down, basic pick-up, vacuuming)
-Runs all errands such as dry cleaning, tire rotation, oil changes, drugstore, taking dog to groomer...ect
-washes, folds, hangs and puts away all laundry
-sometimes runs the kids around after school
-Greets kids at the door after school, makes sure they have a healthy snack, and has them start on their homework.

What does this mean to me? I have not worked my washer and dryer in years. I only go to the grocery store in an emergency, which is rare. I only go to Costco when I want to because I want to see what they are currently carrying. I do not spend ANY of my free times cleaning or doing other domestic chores. My house is spotless and organized, always "guest ready". I come home from work to a clean and orderly home, ready to fix a healthy meal that has already been 50% prepped for me. My kids are settled in and many nights we play card games, go on bike rids, throw the frisbee, or simply watch a movie on a random Wednesday night. We eat healthy home cooked meals, together at the table, never order carryout and only dine out because we want to, not out of necessity. I have plenty of time to exercise and take care of myself. DH and I never ever struggle with who is supposed to do what and to what standard. Our home is stress free and harmonious because we get to focus on what is important.

I pay $500/week for this (20/hr) and pay for 52 weeks a year. She takes 2 weeks of her choosing off and when we go on vacation she only has to work enough to have the house ready for us when we get home (clean and a fridge full of fresh groceries) which might be 4hrs worth of work for the vacation weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm the only person responding who actually has a housekeeper. Let me tell you, it is GLORIOUS! I have someone come each day from 12-5PM. I also have house cleaners come 2xs a month to deep clean. Here is what the housekeeper does:
-walks dog 1x when she arrives.
-does all grocery shopping
-does basic meal prep, including washing all produce, so anything I need to grab is ready to be used.
-Does all Costco and target runs
-Keeps closets and drawers organized
-does lite cleaning (dishes load/unload, makes beds, wiping down, basic pick-up, vacuuming)
-Runs all errands such as dry cleaning, tire rotation, oil changes, drugstore, taking dog to groomer...ect
-washes, folds, hangs and puts away all laundry
-sometimes runs the kids around after school
-Greets kids at the door after school, makes sure they have a healthy snack, and has them start on their homework.

What does this mean to me? I have not worked my washer and dryer in years. I only go to the grocery store in an emergency, which is rare. I only go to Costco when I want to because I want to see what they are currently carrying. I do not spend ANY of my free times cleaning or doing other domestic chores. My house is spotless and organized, always "guest ready". I come home from work to a clean and orderly home, ready to fix a healthy meal that has already been 50% prepped for me. My kids are settled in and many nights we play card games, go on bike rids, throw the frisbee, or simply watch a movie on a random Wednesday night. We eat healthy home cooked meals, together at the table, never order carryout and only dine out because we want to, not out of necessity. I have plenty of time to exercise and take care of myself. DH and I never ever struggle with who is supposed to do what and to what standard. Our home is stress free and harmonious because we get to focus on what is important.

I pay $500/week for this (20/hr) and pay for 52 weeks a year. She takes 2 weeks of her choosing off and when we go on vacation she only has to work enough to have the house ready for us when we get home (clean and a fridge full of fresh groceries) which might be 4hrs worth of work for the vacation weeks.

^^ oh and I forgot to add, she packs the kids lunches each day for the following school day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm the only person responding who actually has a housekeeper. Let me tell you, it is GLORIOUS! I have someone come each day from 12-5PM. I also have house cleaners come 2xs a month to deep clean. Here is what the housekeeper does:
-walks dog 1x when she arrives.
-does all grocery shopping
-does basic meal prep, including washing all produce, so anything I need to grab is ready to be used.
-Does all Costco and target runs
-Keeps closets and drawers organized
-does lite cleaning (dishes load/unload, makes beds, wiping down, basic pick-up, vacuuming)
-Runs all errands such as dry cleaning, tire rotation, oil changes, drugstore, taking dog to groomer...ect
-washes, folds, hangs and puts away all laundry
-sometimes runs the kids around after school
-Greets kids at the door after school, makes sure they have a healthy snack, and has them start on their homework.

What does this mean to me? I have not worked my washer and dryer in years. I only go to the grocery store in an emergency, which is rare. I only go to Costco when I want to because I want to see what they are currently carrying. I do not spend ANY of my free times cleaning or doing other domestic chores. My house is spotless and organized, always "guest ready". I come home from work to a clean and orderly home, ready to fix a healthy meal that has already been 50% prepped for me. My kids are settled in and many nights we play card games, go on bike rids, throw the frisbee, or simply watch a movie on a random Wednesday night. We eat healthy home cooked meals, together at the table, never order carryout and only dine out because we want to, not out of necessity. I have plenty of time to exercise and take care of myself. DH and I never ever struggle with who is supposed to do what and to what standard. Our home is stress free and harmonious because we get to focus on what is important.

I pay $500/week for this (20/hr) and pay for 52 weeks a year. She takes 2 weeks of her choosing off and when we go on vacation she only has to work enough to have the house ready for us when we get home (clean and a fridge full of fresh groceries) which might be 4hrs worth of work for the vacation weeks.

What is your HHI?
Sounds glorius