Forged DH Signature on report card!!!

[Anonymous]

What to do!
DsS (stepson) is 12 going on 18
Any discipline ideas. I dont want to take this lightly.
I was lost for words.
I straightened his bed and found a folder hidden in his pillow, peeked inside was uncompletd homework and forged report card.
The only brightside is that he didnt hand it in. He was planning on handing it in the next day.

Ugh.
Anything?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps take a concerned stance and ask him why he was worried about showing his dad & what in particular he finds difficult & how you could help. I think it helps to start on a positive note. Sounds like he's finding the work difficult. Self-esteem is very delicate at that age.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thanks I think thats a great idea. He is doing great in the class participation portion.. it was the homework and test section he FAILED. He was worried that he was going to get in trouble for failing.

[Anonymous]

I did this once when I was a kid - I was never caught, but I felt oh, so guilty. I will tell you that I was generally a straight A student - and I could not bring myself to tell my parents that I had messed up - I was so afraid of disappointing them. i was an only child, and I put alot of pressure on myself to keep the family happy and everything on an even keep at home. I am not saying to go easy on him, but know that if he has gone this far - there are other problems this is masking - like the fear of failure, disappointing parents, etc. Maybe afraid you won't love him anymore, or that you'll think he's stupid. Especially if you've always said how smart and capable he is, and he gets alot of his self-identity from that. Anyway, fwiw. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Hand it to his dad and have his dad handle it. You can't win if you do it.

[Anonymous]

I did it several times when I was in high school, nobody never knew but I still feel bad. I think you should talk to him maybe like a friend and not like a parent.

[Anonymous]

Tell his father and let him handle it. That really is the only way to go. His father needs to know, and you need to let your stepson know that you will not keep secrets like this from his father and presumably from his mother if she is in the picture, since she's only going to find out if the boy's father finds out. You cannot worry about him getting mad at you. If you think talking to him first makes sense, fine, make clear that you have no choice but to bring his father into the discussion and do not let him persuade you otherwise. Discipline ideas? That's just part of it! A punishment is something his dad and if she's in the picture his mom (school, report cards are joint matters) should discuss but I could also see saying look, you're in a jam, you need to reach out to us, we are here to help, let's figure out a solution. The most important thing is addressing the problem: Why is he failing homework and tests, his parents need to figure out what to do to get him on track there. Someone should call the school, class participation is usually not a big part of a grade, but homework and tests are. Yes, he should not be allowed to watch TV for a weekend or some such but the big problem here is a student who's flunking his classes. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

"step-mom" is not "friend." You can sound "like a friend" and undermine any possible role as parent that you could ever hope to have. You can certainly be nice, kind-hearted, whatever. You can't be a friend.

[Anonymous]

Simply giving to dad and letting him handle it is not the best idea if you have a good relationship with your step son. You know best what type of relationship the two of you have, but if it's good, then it is best to talk to him as the PPs suggested. But dad should know, so tell SS to tell his dad.