Senior wants to go to expensive art school, but doesn't put in the work for scholarships. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

We have a state prepaid college plan plus savings to help her. She could go to public school in state, but instead has chosen a private art school out of state. I want to support her dreams, but also feel that she should be applying for every scholarship under the sun to make this dream a reality. There's only so much we can do financially beyond what we've already saved and planned for. Today, it came to my attention that one of the scholarships she applied for, that we basically have considered almost a sure thing, has been emailing her saying they need a different format of her transcripts, and she's ignored the email and done nothing for the past two weeks. Now it is closed. I'm so frustrated. I've been after and after her to do these things, helped her, and she can't even read her emails and respond or keep applying for more. Do I keep trying to help her or just step back or what? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Natural consequences. State college it is.

[Anonymous]

The college you chose costs X.

We are paying Y.

You are paying X-Y with scholarships and loans.

If you choose state college you are paying X-X.

Done... no lectures, not following up on scholarships, just let it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The college you chose costs X.

We are paying Y.

You are paying X-Y with scholarships and loans.

If you choose state college you are paying X-X.

Done... no lectures, not following up on scholarships, just let it be.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

I'm all for cutting kids a little slack; if this were a matter of needing to pay for overnight mail to get something there in time or my leaving work to bring something to school (for an application, not a forgotten lunch), I'd go for it.

But coming up with thousands of dollars because she wasn't checking her e-mail? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The college you chose costs X.

We are paying Y.

You are paying X-Y with scholarships and loans.

If you choose state college you are paying X-X.

Done... no lectures, not following up on scholarships, just let it be.

This is what my parents did. I think it is good for kids to have some sort of skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm all for cutting kids a little slack; if this were a matter of needing to pay for overnight mail to get something there in time or my leaving work to bring something to school (for an application, not a forgotten lunch), I'd go for it.

But coming up with thousands of dollars because she wasn't checking her e-mail? Nope.

Then I guess you have thousands of dollars you don't need. This is a big deal. OP can decide how to handle it, but unless I was convinced Expensive Art School was a "must attend" for my child, he or she would be going somewhere more affordable if he or she can't be bothered to do what's needed to get there.

That suggests that the child in question really doesn't understand the investment being considered.

[Anonymous]

I find it weird that you don't address the more important question of whether she has real talent. What does her portfolio look like? Have teachers written glowing letters of recommendation specifically in her area of interest? To me, that would make all the difference.

Also, is she disorganized and tardy in general? That's a sign of inattentive ADHD. Medication works well for that, and could allow her to live a more productive life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm all for cutting kids a little slack; if this were a matter of needing to pay for overnight mail to get something there in time or my leaving work to bring something to school (for an application, not a forgotten lunch), I'd go for it.

But coming up with thousands of dollars because she wasn't checking her e-mail? Nope.

Then I guess you have thousands of dollars you don't need. This is a big deal. OP can decide how to handle it, but unless I was convinced Expensive Art School was a "must attend" for my child, he or she would be going somewhere more affordable if he or she can't be bothered to do what's needed to get there.

That suggests that the child in question really doesn't understand the investment being considered.

Reading comprehension. You two are in agreement.

[Anonymous]

Contribute only what you can and make her come up with the difference be it through loans or work earnings. School expenses aside, it’s amazing what happens to kids when they go off to school with no spending money. A co-worker’s son was told he needed to contribute his summer job money to cover the “luxury” housing option he chose and for all of his spending money for the year. By December he was a very sad boy with no money. He’s livid he had to get a job in a sub shop during the school year but his parents stuck to their guns and sent him nothing.

[Anonymous]

"Chosen"? no, she has not chosen anything

She can go somewhere you can afford. You are providing plenty. Be an adult about this.

[Anonymous]

OP if your kid could not get back to the scholarship folks with the correct format I would be worried about a lot more things than simply how much her college education is going to cost you.

She clearly has responsibility and immaturity issues.

Maybe she should be made to take a full time job for a year and apply then, from a position of responsibility, solvency and greater maturity and perspective?

[Anonymous]

I want a Maserati and I want my parents to buy it but they can’t afford it but I still want them to get it for me and I’m not willing to lift a finger to work for it.