Bat Mitzvah 101
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Anonymous
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DD has been invited to several Bat Mitzvahs with in the next few weeks/months. Mitzvahs are a bit different now than when I was 12/13 so I would love some current advice for DD (attending as a non Jewish guest).
Is it better to give money or a gift (or both)? Are there any particular colors to stay away from? Or maybe it doesn’t matter. Are there any good sources for fun dresses (Bethesda, Rockville, Gaithersburg areas)? She (of course) wants a different dress for each party but the thought of buying 11 dresses within a few months makes me twitch. I need a source that makes it easy and doesn’t require a second mortgage (kidding. . . kind of). She has many Jewish friends but the first Mitzvah is in two weeks. Thank you!! |
Anonymous
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My kids absolutely loved getting gifts. They also loved getting money. So really... it is your choice. A gift is nice because it is more personal than money. Some people, though, prefer to give money or gift cards.
There are no colors to stay away from. My kids have always done well with dresses from Macy's or Lord & Taylor. No need to spend tons of money on dresses. There are proabably nice dresses left over from Easter that are now on sale. |
Anonymous
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We got inexpensive dresses at Kohl's, and, she wore each one many times. No colors to stay away from, except whatever color the Bat Mitzvah girl is wearing. For example, my DD did not wear her navy dress to her friends event when her friend was wearing a navy dress.
Both my kids got a wide variety of gift cards, and checks, and even a little bit of cash. Neither of them got any actual gifts! |
Anonymous
| Also suggest Nordstrom Rack. |
Anonymous
| Should cash gifts be in some multiple? |
Anonymous
| Often we will do multiples of 18 for Jewish numerology reasons. |
Anonymous
| ABSOLUTELY do NOT buy her a different dress for each one. Holy crap. I'd buy her two. |
Anonymous
I wouldn’t buy a new dress for every event, but I might buy 4 (that she can also wear other places) in different colors. That way, she can cycle through them, wears each one ~ 3x, and will always be able to avoid wearing a dress the same color as the host. |
Anonymous
| Get 4-5 dresses off of the sale racks at Kohls/TJ Maxx/Target. It is not worth it to shell out the big bucks for these kinds of events, especially when kids are 12-13 and still growing. I would also recommend getting 1-2 cardigans in neutral colors like white or black to go with the dresses to be modest for when she is at shul for the actual ceremony. If you get different cardigans, your DD can mix and match. I'd also look into maybe getting dresses secondhand from Goodwill or something similar. My DD did that when she was going to a lot of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and we never spent more than $10 per dress. |
Anonymous
| Also try Macy's Juniors Dept and Forever 21. |