I'm an American expat living overseas, AMA

[Anonymous]

Never tried my own AMA but it might be fun.

Background: I'm married to a globe-trotting corporate executive. We have lived overseas for more than ten years now and are now in our third country (UK, HK and Dubai). We have always had the generous expat package with housing and schooling provided.

If you have any questions about expat life then fire away.

[Anonymous]

Are both you and your husband monolingual?

[Anonymous]

What do you most miss about the U.S.?
Do you attempt to fully integrate into the host culture or seek out familiar amenities?
Would you be an expat if it weren't required by the job?
If so, and you could live anywhere, where would you live?

My husband and I have a semi-real plan to expatriate to Spain (opening our own business there) in the next 7-10 years - obviously your circumstances are quite different, but any advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are both you and your husband monolingual?

DH is fluent in German and I am reasonably fluid in French.

We have never needed to speak anything but English in the countries we lived in.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any indigenous servants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you most miss about the U.S.?
Do you attempt to fully integrate into the host culture or seek out familiar amenities?
Would you be an expat if it weren't required by the job?
If so, and you could live anywhere, where would you live?

My husband and I have a semi-real plan to expatriate to Spain (opening our own business there) in the next 7-10 years - obviously your circumstances are quite different, but any advice?

Miss the most about the US? The sense of living somewhere that is truly home. Our life, no matter how nice it is, is still rootless. We don't live in property we own, we will not be here for the long run, our friends are largely transitional. We are not putting down stakes in a community for the long run.

Do we attempt to integrate into the host culture? The closest we did this was in the UK where we had several great British friends from before our expat days and included us in their social circles. Very kind of them and we have wonderful friends who remain close to us from our UK days. In HK and Dubai we are strictly expats with no local friends nor have we attempted to meet locals (almost impossible in Dubai). Our friends are all other expats who come from all over the world. In all three places we lived comfortable lives to high western standards.

I don't regret becoming an expat. It was not the life I expected and I'm still surprised we're still expats after more than a decade but life has treated us well. At the same time if we had never become expats I wouldn't be dreaming of becoming an expat.

If we could live anywhere in the world it would probably be somewhere like Munich or Vienna or Zurich or Geneva. Highest quality of life and best range of amenities in an urban but manageable setting. In reality we will come back to the US someday and it's open as to where we end up. DH and I have vaguely discussed what we should do if we end up permanent expats for his working career, and where we should retire to. Probably split our time between Cape Cod and Florida, or settle in San Diego or Santa Barbara. It's all about the weather. But where our children end up will certainly have a factor.

Starting your own business as an expat is a very different expatdom than the world I've lived in, although I've known other successful expat business owners. I really can't offer advice beyond the usual, which is to know your market, have a business plan, and be aware of the business environment in Spain and what it requires to start a business. You need to pay careful attention to the visa requirements and what it allows you to (are you thinking of working remotely as a consultant while just living in Spain, or offering services to clients in Spain? Those are different scenarios with different implications).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any indigenous servants?

We have a Filipino maid in Dubai. We also had a maid in HK.

Once the kids are a few years older we will let the maid go. I'd rather have a twice weekly cleaner than a full time maid.

[Anonymous]

How do your kids -how old?- do with constantly being uprooted, packing, moving, making new friends over and over?

Do your kids even know what the US is like?

Where did you and dh grow up?

When you're doing taxes each year, is it a major pain bc of your expat status?

Have you considered being on House hunters international on hgtv?

[Anonymous]

Are your kids fluent in any other language than English?
How do you like the international/ American schools in each country?
Do you think your kids are getting a better (richer) education than if you had stayed in the US, or is the experience not so different mostly surrounded by other English speaking expats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do your kids -how old?- do with constantly being uprooted, packing, moving, making new friends over and over?

Do your kids even know what the US is like?

Where did you and dh grow up?

When you're doing taxes each year, is it a major pain bc of your expat status?

Have you considered being on House hunters international on hgtv?

The kids are 8 and 5.

They have never lived in the US but they know they are Americans. They go to an American school and have other American/Canadian friends (the school gives preferential admissions to North Americans). They also have friends from many different nationalities.

The oldest only has the memories of school in HK and friends in HK. There will be another move in probably two years. Both kids will cope. Kids always do. They're already used to friends leaving all the time.

I grew up in Maryland and DH grew up in Massachusetts.

Taxes are a pain because we own property in the US and have income from US sources. Our overseas income is not wholly tax free and we get a generous tax exclusion but we still pay a decent amount of income tax every year.

I have never seen House Hunter but I know of it. I think most of you would be surprised by how simply most high-earning expats live. Our houses and apartments tend to be fairly basic in decor and furnishing. No one is having property done up by interior decorators because if you're moving in a year or two, what's the point? Or spending a lot of money on furniture that you might have to sell cheaply in a year or two. I have boxes of china and silver sitting in my parents' basement that hasn't seen the light of day in a decade. There's no point bringing it overseas with us.

On the flip side, it's amazing how much money people will spend on shipping just to relocate their Ikea crap from one country to another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids fluent in any other language than English?
How do you like the international/ American schools in each country?
Do you think your kids are getting a better (richer) education than if you had stayed in the US, or is the experience not so different mostly surrounded by other English speaking expats?

No. They only speak English.

The quality of education at the American schools in HK and Dubai is excellent. We have no complaints.

My kids are getting a different kind of experience. It is not the same as if we'd stayed in the US. Their friends are far more diverse than their cousin's circle of friends. At a typical birthday party you will easily have 6-10 different nationalities, if not more (so many of the "American" or "Canadian" classmates are actually dual passport holders with the other passport from India or Pakistan or Jordan or Turkey or Thailand).

Truth be told, I think the Americans are a bit more open to a diverse circle of friends among their kids. The British tend to be more cloistered to themselves. This may have to do with that there's just so many more British expats than American expats. The British expat communities in HK and Dubai are huge, whereas for Americans it's much smaller. And a lot of the Americans overseas are also in multi-national marriages, with spouses from another country.

[Anonymous]

If somebody wanted to transition into this career/lifestyle, what advice would you give them to make it happen? Are their specific agencies that specialize in overseas headhunting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If somebody wanted to transition into this career/lifestyle, what advice would you give them to make it happen? Are their specific agencies that specialize in overseas headhunting?

Best way to get abroad is to have your company send you abroad. Look for jobs in big firms that have offices overseas. After you prove yourself, push for an international transfer. People in sales and business development can usually find a way to go overseas. Finance is another common route overseas.

Another way to get overseas is to look into places like Dubai, which has a huge expat scene and hires expats for all types of roles and sectors and is used to recruiting new expats. Once you have a few years of expat experience it's actually much easier to then move on to places in Asia or Europe. Google will give you the names of big recruitment firms in Dubai and register with them. Also look at Singapore. HK is still a possibility but getting harder now due to the increasing requirement for roles to be filled by the Chinese.

[Anonymous]

Are you working? If not, how do you spend your free time?
What do the trailing spouses typically do while kids are in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you most miss about the U.S.?
Do you attempt to fully integrate into the host culture or seek out familiar amenities?
Would you be an expat if it weren't required by the job?
If so, and you could live anywhere, where would you live?

My husband and I have a semi-real plan to expatriate to Spain (opening our own business there) in the next 7-10 years - obviously your circumstances are quite different, but any advice?

Miss the most about the US? The sense of living somewhere that is truly home. Our life, no matter how nice it is, is still rootless. We don't live in property we own, we will not be here for the long run, our friends are largely transitional. We are not putting down stakes in a community for the long run.

Do we attempt to integrate into the host culture? The closest we did this was in the UK where we had several great British friends from before our expat days and included us in their social circles. Very kind of them and we have wonderful friends who remain close to us from our UK days. In HK and Dubai we are strictly expats with no local friends nor have we attempted to meet locals (almost impossible in Dubai). Our friends are all other expats who come from all over the world. In all three places we lived comfortable lives to high western standards.

I don't regret becoming an expat. It was not the life I expected and I'm still surprised we're still expats after more than a decade but life has treated us well. At the same time if we had never become expats I wouldn't be dreaming of becoming an expat.

If we could live anywhere in the world it would probably be somewhere like Munich or Vienna or Zurich or Geneva. Highest quality of life and best range of amenities in an urban but manageable setting. In reality we will come back to the US someday and it's open as to where we end up. DH and I have vaguely discussed what we should do if we end up permanent expats for his working career, and where we should retire to. Probably split our time between Cape Cod and Florida, or settle in San Diego or Santa Barbara. It's all about the weather. But where our children end up will certainly have a factor.

Starting your own business as an expat is a very different expatdom than the world I've lived in, although I've known other successful expat business owners. I really can't offer advice beyond the usual, which is to know your market, have a business plan, and be aware of the business environment in Spain and what it requires to start a business. You need to pay careful attention to the visa requirements and what it allows you to (are you thinking of working remotely as a consultant while just living in Spain, or offering services to clients in Spain? Those are different scenarios with different implications).

Spain is a really, really difficult place economically as you probably already know...