Anyone else's child having a hard time w/ full-day kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

My son started full day kindergarten a few weeks ago and honestly, I think it is just too much for him. He has been extremely irritable, cranky and angry in the last few weeks despite getting TONS of sleep (he is out cold by 7 pm most nights and wakes up around 8 am or so). He has even taken a nap every weekend since school started. I've gotten calls every week from either his teacher or the principal about him acting up in class, pushing/hitting other kids or not following directions, etc. Last year, he went to preschool 3 mornings a week (I couldn't afford anything else) and seemed to adjust well. He says he hates school and doesn't want to go. I am not sure what to do. I can't afford to send him to a half-day private K program and the only choice in public is full-day. Any suggestions? Is anyone else's child having a hard time w/ the adjustment to kindergarten? I guess it it really a HUGE change from preschool. It is all day, no recess until 2 pm, most of the time is either sitting listening to the teacher or doing worksheets, etc. His preschool was play based and seemed developmentally appropriate and kindergarten seems, well, not. Are these signs of stress?

[Anonymous]

No recess until 2 could be part of the problem. What are the teachers telling you they are doing to help him with the transition? Where is his birthday, is he young? I feel for him and I feel for you. I would speak to his pediatrician, if he/she is good about these things. He sounds overwhelmed and exhausted from it. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

No recess until two is a perfect example of unrealistic expectations for 5 years olds. Worksheets and listening all day... I'm so sorry. I don't know what school system you are in, but this sort of schedule would be tough thing for most children. They may not be responding the way your child is, but they are no doubt equally miserable. Start by talking with the teachers. The worksheets are a bad sign, but sometimes the teachers know this is a bad schedule for kids, and can tweak. If not, try the principal.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My neighbor's kid started K too but in a different class. She has volunteered a few times in the last few weeks in different K classes and they are all pretty much the same. They are doing lots of assessments w/ each kid to see where they are and what groups they can place them in for reading, etc. So, w/ no assistant in the classroom to help out, I guess they use worksheets a lot to keep the kids busy. My son came into K reading (it always came easy for him) but it is such a drastic change from preschool. I will talk to his teacher about their unrealistic schedule. I don't know why they don't have recess after lunch at the very least. He had recess around 11 am in preschool for a good 30 minutes or more (and they also had it earlier if the kids seemed like they needed it). What is also sad is that when I ask my son about the other kids in his class, he said he doesn't know them well b/c they aren't allowed to talk to each other in class except during lunch and recess. Nearly everyday he has been asked to sit outside of the cafeteria in the room for kids who misbehave during lunch. He has always had sensory issues (hypersensitive to loud noises, being touched by people he doesn't know, etc) so it doesn't surprise me that he can't handle the cafeteria. I've been in there once or twice during lunch and it was overstimulating for me. Any other suggestions or help would be appreciated. I need to go wake him up now. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

OP again. He turned 5 in April so he is nearly 5 and a half. I am going to email the teacher to make an appt w/ her.

[Anonymous]

OP, to be realistic, you probably aren't going to have any luck changing the school schedule so that your son gets recess earlier or that worksheets are eliminated. Where you can make the biggest impact is individually with your son. In addition to talking with the teacher, try the guidance counselor and maybe even the principal. I've had great luck in our school getting my son on a behavior program that, so far, is highly successful. In addition, we've gotten a lot of accommodations to help my son with his attention and sensory issues.

I think the key is to formulate your concern and make yourself a part of the team that solves the problem. If I were your son's mom, based on your posts, the two things that I would focus on are the fact that he is saying he doesn't like school and is exhibiting signs of stress and the fact that he is having trouble following the classroom rules and the strategies used so far don't seem to be working.

It's still early on in the school year, so your son's current reaction to school is by no means how he will view it long term. But, he has been there long enough for you to have legitimate concerns. Again, I have found that my kids' schools have been very receptive to me when I've had concerns.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

"Are these signs of stress?"

Um yes. Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there OP. Sounds like a very developmentally inappropriate curriculum and is not working for your son. Its hard to imagine many kids it would work for who are that age, but particularly if there are any additional issues to consider. Would you mind sharing the school district you are in?

[Anonymous]

<b> It is all day, no recess until 2 pm, most of the time is either sitting listening to the teacher or doing worksheets, etc.</b>
which school is this? tks!

[Anonymous]

OP, this will get better for you and your child, I promise. My son went to a lovely progressive private K with recess happening multiple times of the day, very age appropriate curriculum and on an on. And he was STILL a total bear in the afternoons and evenings at home and dead asleep no later than 7:30. It took a couple of months for things to calm down for him, but it did. I think more recess would really help, particularly if he is having trouble coping during the school day. But the acting out at home, irritability, etc. is very common. The social demands of K are just much harder than in pre-K and the longer days only compound that for kids. Be sure to give him a protein snack first thing after school, keep your demands on him very simple and low key. Don't create any more stress ... if it takes him an extra 5 minutes to come to dinner ... it's okay ... the world won't end and he does still respect your authority. Really! Good luck. By the way, the first few weeks of first grade are exactly the same ... each year is more demanding of kids in different ways and many kids (especially) boys have to transition from summer in this way.

[Anonymous]

OP, fwiw, I posted on the general board last week looking for resources for a boy already having behavioral problems in K - several other posters chimed in and had already run into the same issue. So you're not alone. I'm totally with you on the need for more/earlier playtime in K, especially for boys. Beyond that, which unfortunately is probably unrealistic in the short term, our son's teacher recommended playdates with kids from his class to help him settle in better and feel more comfortable among his classmates. My son had been in full day school since he was 1yo, but had been in the same surroundings and with a relatively small group of kids for much of that time. Suddenly being thrown into a room of 20-30 other kids, in a school which in our case has 200 K students, is completely overwhelming, even for a very social kid like mine. Everyone assures me that it does get better with time, but helping him to get to know his classmates outside of school may be one positive thing you can do. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you may want to talk to some parents of other students in your son's class - specifically the parents of boys. I find it hard to believe that he could POSSIBLY be the only child having difficulty with a "worksheets to keep quiet and no recess until 2pm" day!

Have you read "The War Against Boys" by Christina Hoff Sommers? What you're describing is a classic example of unrealistic behavioral expectations and how they're destructive to your son's development.

[Anonymous]

OP, what school system is this? We are considering a move and a schedule like that would NOT work for my active kid with sensory issues.

[Anonymous]

I recommend reading the Education column in today's Post (Metro section, page 2). There's a story about how Kindergarten is becoming more academic and less about play. Your school sounds like a perfect example of this. This is developmentally inappropriate for most 5 year olds.

[Anonymous]

OP again. We are in Howard County, MD. Our school won some big award a few yrs back (Blue Ribbon maybe) so I think they feel the need to "keep up the good work" every year. To the PP- If you have a link to the article you are talking about, that would be great. I am a working single mom so I don't have much opportunity to meet other moms at drop-off and pick-up. I am really glad I didn't sign my son up for the after-school program b/c I think the 7 hr school day is more than enough. My mom offered to pick him up at school everyday and take care of him. She does bring a snack for the car ride home (he often falls asleep on that ride). To top it all off, his teacher started sending home homework the 2nd or 3rd week of school. Yeah, right. I cannot believe how many worksheets they do at school (they send them home at the end of the week for us to sign) and then they send home one more every night as if he hasn't had enough. It is crazy! I emailed his teacher today and requested a meeting for next week. Tonight, he actually cried at dinner when he told me how he got sent out of the cafeteria again. I know that sends him into sensory overload b/c he cannot stand loud noises. I have no idea how much he actually eats at lunch. Maybe I can ask if he could eat lunch w/ the guidance counselor or something. Anything would be better than where he is now. I walked by the cafeteria last week when I dropped off his lunch at school which he forgot. I couldn't stand it for 2 mins let alone 20-30 mins! I feel so bad that his first experience w/ "big kid school" is like this. I loved K and my K teacher.