I'm the stepmom and have been asked not to attend events of stepchildren

[Anonymous]

I just want to post about this because ... I think it's okay. My kids (from my ex) live with me, as do the stepkids. Sometimes my kids don't want their stepdad to attend their school play or a dental visit, and sometimes my stepkids don't want me to attend a basketball game or music recital. In our family this is not a big deal.

If the purpose of us going is to support the child, and they would not feel supported by that attendance but rather feel uncomfortable, then we just don't go. This doesn't have to turn into a huge drama.

[Anonymous]

That's because you are a reasonable, normal adult who puts the welfare of children ahead of your own ego.

Alas, there are many step parents out there who do not share those values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's because you are a reasonable, normal adult who puts the welfare of children ahead of your own ego.

Alas, there are many step parents out there who do not share those values.

Unfortunately some biological parents do not share these values either.This seems to be particularly common after a bitter divorce.

[Anonymous]

^^^^^ that.

You remind me of my stepmother. She never pushed herself on me, she never took my teenage shit attitude personally. She just accepted me and met me where I was rather than trying to make me meet her where she wanted me to be.

After my dad died and she remarried we still have remained close. She's very dear to me.

I asked her how she learned to be such a wonderful stepmother, she told me she had a stepmother that she couldn't stand. She did everything the opposite!

[Anonymous]

Thank you, OP, it's so nice to hear from a compassionate and rational human being.

Those in bitter feuds are trouble seeing that.