Bris: Rabbi Michael Henesch vs. Dr. April Rubin?

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

My husband and I are reform Jews and trying to pick a mohel for our son's bris once he arrives (around the beginning of May). Has anyone worked with either of these rabbis? We've received recommendations for both. I know that Dr. Rubin is conservative, but that she's worked with reform couples. Would love to hear anything positive or negative about your experience with either rabbi.

Thank you!
Abby

[Anonymous]

We used Henesch and it went fine.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to Dr. Rubin, but Rabbi Henesch is awesome. We used him for my son's bris and my sister used him for my nephew's. Both within the past 4 years. We also wanted to use him for our daughter's baby naming but he was unavailable.

He's not warm and cuddly -- in fact can be kind of a jerk with just the parents -- but he runs a fantastic ceremony. My grandparents have attended britot for dozens of babies, including their own 8 great-grandsons, and they said that Henesch's were by far the best. Usually you don't remember much about a bris but when it came time to name my daughter, everyone asked if we'd be using Henesch because he was so good at my son's bris.

Being reform won't be an issue. My brother in law has one Jewish parent but was raised more or less nothing and is not halachically Jewish. Rabbi wanted to know this but other than knowing it, didn't much care. As long as you the mother are Jewish, baby is Jewish. (Now if your own mother was not Jewish -- since Reform Jews accept either parent for religious purposes -- he might want to talk to you about formally converting the baby.)

He's not cheap, I'll say that. I think we paid about $750. And insurance did not reimburse us although some do.

[Anonymous]

I would avoid Dr. Rubin. Especially for a bris. She's not personable or pleasant

[Anonymous]

hate henesch so rude and a pig

[Anonymous]

I think you can call and speak to both and see who you feel comfortable with, and also speak with your pediatrician and see if they have any recommendations.

[Anonymous]

^^ if you join a synagogue, also ask the rabbi there if they have any suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't speak to Dr. Rubin, but Rabbi Henesch is awesome. We used him for my son's bris and my sister used him for my nephew's. Both within the past 4 years. We also wanted to use him for our daughter's baby naming but he was unavailable.

He's not warm and cuddly -- in fact can be kind of a jerk with just the parents -- but he runs a fantastic ceremony. My grandparents have attended britot for dozens of babies, including their own 8 great-grandsons, and they said that Henesch's were by far the best. Usually you don't remember much about a bris but when it came time to name my daughter, everyone asked if we'd be using Henesch because he was so good at my son's bris.

Being reform won't be an issue. My brother in law has one Jewish parent but was raised more or less nothing and is not halachically Jewish. Rabbi wanted to know this but other than knowing it, didn't much care. As long as you the mother are Jewish, baby is Jewish. (Now if your own mother was not Jewish -- since Reform Jews accept either parent for religious purposes -- he might want to talk to you about formally converting the baby.)

He's not cheap, I'll say that. I think we paid about $750. And insurance did not reimburse us although some do.

+1000. We used Henesch and while somewhat to-the-point in private with us, he did a fantastic, warm ceremony that all the grandparents and great grandparents still talk about 3 years later. We are non-observant but both raised conservative, and we thought it was just the right balance of hebrew prayers and english readings. I don't think he ever asked what level of observance we have.

[Anonymous]

We uses Rabbi Henesch recently and he was great. We found him to be very responsive to emails and phone calls and polite in person. Our families loved the ceremony. We are reform it wasn't an issue. Fyi he won't do a bris on a Saturday if he has to drive.

[Anonymous]

We were very pleased with Dr. Rubin. We’re unaffiliated and lean reform. She was kind and caring toward both me (8 days post c-section is a rough day to host a party) and my son. Several attendees commented on how moving the ceremony was.

[Anonymous]

We are interfaith, but mom is Jewish and we were married by a rabbi. Raising kid Jewish. Rubin was not a good fit for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are interfaith, but mom is Jewish and we were married by a rabbi. Raising kid Jewish. Rubin was not a good fit for us.

Is that because she was too religious for what you wanted? My family is Jewish and my husband's mother is Jewish, but his dad is not and I assume we'll have a few folks there who won't be Jewish. We want it to be a comfortable and positive experience for everyone, whatever their faith.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are interfaith, but mom is Jewish and we were married by a rabbi. Raising kid Jewish. Rubin was not a good fit for us.

Our family is the same, and Rubin was just fine for our family. My non-Jewish SIL even helped my brother carry our son.

I honestly don’t remember much about the day, though. It was a pretty rough event for me emotionally.

[Anonymous]

She just said something offhand that made my husband feel out of the loop. It may well have been unintentional, and we may have been overly emotional (really rough delivery and first few days). I do have friends that loved her, and our ped said she did a great job. Just something that I now know I need to discuss at length with anyone in advance as we prepare for BB2.

[Anonymous]

Henesch doesn't have the best warm/fuzzy manner with parents, if that's what you think you may want. He made a comment to me that I shouldn't have an issue being in pain 8 days after my delivery when I had a hard time standing up from the couch after my countless stitches. If I had been in a better frame of mind, I'd tell him to let me know how he feels next time he gives birth and needs more stitches than the doctor could count.

The ceremony was nice and the procedure itself was great. No issues there. Just didn't love dealing with his unnecessarily rude tone on the day of. He is pretty pompous.