First borns marrying

[Anonymous]

Dh and I are both first borns. He is the oldest of 5, I have one younger brother. Before we got married, the minister said he had married thousands of couples, but only 11 who were both first borns. Out of those 11, 7 couples had already split. That number startled us, but we shook it off. We got married. Apparently there are too many control issues, both think you’re right, etc.

Now that we have been married 18 years, Dh has gone from calm and easy going to authoritative and wanting to make all the decisions. He always trusted me to make decisions, handle the finances, raise the kids, and now he wants it his way.

Are there any first borns married to a first born on here, with a successful marriage?

[Anonymous]

I know plenty. This has nothing to do with birth order.

[Anonymous]

Same here. Yea, we have control issues. It's working so far, 10 years in, but maybe it's not the dreamiest pairing. I manage most of the home stuff, dh is kept busy by his career. It might be harder if he cared more about the money or the house. Fortunately he doesn't, so I run those things.

[Anonymous]

IMHO, your minister is an idiot. Or rather, we're all just searching for patterns that give us some idea on whether or not this huge gamble we're taking is going to work out. Or searching to make sense of equations we can't quite grasp.

I could tell you that 10 years ago, I'd never date certain astrological signs, because I didn't think they were good personality matches for me. Now, that's all out the window. I used to not date chubby guys, super nerdy guys, guys without college degrees, and a bunch of things. People change over time depending on the experiences we have. My criteria has changed a lot. I've changed a lot. Your husband changed. Part of the challenge of keeping a marriage together is people both growing in a way that compliments each other. A lot of times that doesn't happen, and it's no one's fault. It just takes work if you want the relationship to evolve after the change.

I think 7-4 divorced sounds about right for all couples these days.

[Anonymous]

Lol, DH and I are first borns. He is the most laid back person on the planet. 10 years and still going strong. I can't believe a minister would say that.

[Anonymous]

I'm a first born and my DH is a middle child but acts like a first born (his older sister is extremely deferential and passive, for some reason). We're both super Type A. It works well, and I can't imagine being married to someone who wasn't like that. My parents and younger brother are all super Type B and it irritates me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, DH and I are first borns. He is the most laid back person on the planet. 10 years and still going strong. I can't believe a minister would say that.

Op here. My dh was super laid back too, not sure when this shifted, gradually over the past few years I guess...so watch out ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol, DH and I are first borns. He is the most laid back person on the planet. 10 years and still going strong. I can't believe a minister would say that.

Op here. My dh was super laid back too, not sure when this shifted, gradually over the past few years I guess...so watch out in the years to come!

[Anonymous]

We are the same as you; husband is oldest of 4 and I have a younger brother. We are fine. We joke that we "shouldn't make it" but it works out for us.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both first borns. We are both perfectionists and type A. Married 12 years. We have disagreements but a great marriage overall.

[Anonymous]

I have been happily married to another first born for 12 years this June. He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol, DH and I are first borns. He is the most laid back person on the planet. 10 years and still going strong. I can't believe a minister would say that.

Op here. My dh was super laid back too, not sure when this shifted, gradually over the past few years I guess...so watch out ?

Mid Life Crisis?

[Anonymous]

We are both only kids. Just 7 years in so far (10 together) but so far so good. Neither of us tend to sweat the small stuff. We got married a bit later (mid-thirties) and have been through crap in life already to have some perspective. When I see how incredibly great he is with our son, it's hard to care about dirty dishes, socks on the floor, and the like.

[Anonymous]

I was just wondering something similar! BOth DH and I are the youngest of three. We definitely have some communication issues and a lot of times I feel like our personalities are too similar. I was just thinking how much more compatible we would be if certain traits were more complimentary, rather than repetitive. I would love to see stats on birth order vs. divorce rate.

[Anonymous]

I'm a firstborn, but my husband is the youngest. We both like control, because he was spoiled and I was always in charge. We've learned to work well together with a lot of humor. Laughter and communication go a long way in a marriage.