Struggling to manage GS-15 pressures

[Anonymous]

I've been a GS-15 supervisor for three years and am struggling to handle the pressure! It comes down to my inability to accept that my decisions, while with good intention, will sometimes be wrong and that my staff will be impacted and unhappy at times with decisions that I've made. When they come to me to express their concerns and displeasure, I feel personally responsible and almost guilt-ridden, which I know is sick. I know I have a confidence issue and struggle with trying to please my staff, which isn't possible, but I'm just wired to be a people-pleaser and HATE conflict, which comes with the territory as a supervisor.

I've been seeing a therapist for guidance and even started meds to help, but I am starting to think I may need to step down to a non-sup 14 if I can find one. I have another 15 years min until I'm retirement eligible. I hate the thought of losing a seat at the decision making table, and the annual loss of $15K will definitely hurt, but I'm just not sure I'm cut out to be a supervisor. I read some other person posting similar feelings a while back and so know I'm not alone, but I'm just really struggling.

Have others felt this way at times and has the feeling passed and/or what steps did you take to help it pass? Did you actually make a job change and not regret it? I'm struggling and appreciate some thoughts, with kindness please.

[Anonymous]

Depending on your field, but I bet you can find a non-supervisory GS-15 outside of your agency. We have plenty of them in my office and I kind of wonder what they do all day . You can also take a down grade, I believe it will not impact your retirement.

[Anonymous]

did you post this before OP?

[Anonymous]

I hated being a manager in the private sector and I thought it would be easier on this side but from these posts I'm seeing I guess not....I took a $15K paycut from private to be a GS-13 and it is DIVINE, I get to do all the work I love w/o the "boss" crapola and I've been referred to a few non-sup 14s here lately now that I've got TIG so here's hoping! Not everyone is cut out for the supervisory roles, know thyself....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depending on your field, but I bet you can find a non-supervisory GS-15 outside of your agency. We have plenty of them in my office and I kind of wonder what they do all day . You can also take a down grade, I believe it will not impact your retirement.

Of course it will impact OP's retirement. OP's high three will be less than had OP stayed a 15.

IMO being a supervisor isn't worth the $15K or the increased retirement benefits or the increased leave carryover that you can cash out before retiring.

[Anonymous]

You can do either

1) move up one more level (first line supervisor in govt is the worst job out there)
2) move down one level (a working 14)
3) move to different agency (14 or 15, non supervisory)
4) learn to deal with it (I personally think you are too sensitive about everything)

good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can do either

1) move up one more level (first line supervisor in govt is the worst job out there)
2) move down one level (a working 14)
3) move to different agency (14 or 15, non supervisory)
4) learn to deal with it (I personally think you are too sensitive about everything)

good luck

Op here and thanks. Yes, I know I'm too sensitive about everything, but it's unfortunately how I'm wired and despite many efforts to change, it's just who I am.

[Anonymous]

You sound caring and like you want to do the right thing.

Are you engaging staff (the 9 - 13s) in seeking their input?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound caring and like you want to do the right thing.

Are you engaging staff (the 9 - 13s) in seeking their input?

Thank you. I do care and want to do the right thing. I seek their input and then make decisions. I have 20+ staff, so someone is always unhappy and unfortunately I'm wired to give a sh-t. I frankly wish I was more full of myself because then I wouldn't care so much. I almost thing you need to be that way to successfully manage people.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 12.
OP, of those 20 people, I bet if you are honest, you recognize there is a subset that are truly engaged high performers, and another subset that are perpetually grumpy no matter what.
Speaking as a 12, looking for mentors and truly wanting to make a difference, guess which group I'm going to tell you to focus on. Grumpies gonna grump. Move on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound caring and like you want to do the right thing.

Are you engaging staff (the 9 - 13s) in seeking their input?

Thank you. I do care and want to do the right thing. I seek their input and then make decisions. I have 20+ staff, so someone is always unhappy and unfortunately I'm wired to give a sh-t. I frankly wish I was more full of myself because then I wouldn't care so much. I almost thing you need to be that way to successfully manage people.

I think you'll grow into a great manager and then probably SES. You just need to find ways to get "buy in" - get your staff on board and they will be okay with it eventually.

You really have to WORK those lower grade employees if you want a great reputation. Get them in your office, hear their concerns, explain your side and decision, and they'll just be grateful you engaged with them and they'll be your fan and vouch for you when the SES/pres. appointees discreetly ask about your leadership skills.

The 15s who hide in their office and won't talk to 9 - 12 or 13 team leaders never get promoted to SES.

[Anonymous]

I’m in the private sector but I understand your sentiment.

I think the trick is to realize that most of this work is not as important as we make it out to be, and in 100 years will anybody even care?

Also, to be a bit flippant here, ask yourself would a typical white man who would be in this position even ask himself these questions? I doubt it.

Wouldn’t take it so seriously. Go watch office space.

Realize that yes you’re never going to please everyone and
whatever job you have, supervisor or not.

Also, this is not the emergency room, and you’re not a surgeon. Your decisions are not life or death. It’s the only perspective that helps me get through the bureaucracy of my job sometimes

I wouldn’t take it so seriously. I wouldn’t

[Anonymous]

Also, find something else in your life that you find important or fun and focus on that for the next few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can do either

1) move up one more level (first line supervisor in govt is the worst job out there)
2) move down one level (a working 14)
3) move to different agency (14 or 15, non supervisory)
4) learn to deal with it (I personally think you are too sensitive about everything)

good luck

Op here and thanks. Yes, I know I'm too sensitive about everything, but it's unfortunately how I'm wired and despite many efforts to change, it's just who I am.

You can be sensitive but you don't have to take things personally. Your job is carry out your management's direction to you. So, as long as your direction to your staff is consistent with your management's direction to you, why worry?

[Anonymous]

I'm not government but I completely relate to your situation. I feel the same. I have great reviews and am told I am doing a great job, however I stress about everything. I have thought about working with a therapist to explore either strengthening my confidence in my decisions and to "care less" if you will about the impacts of decisions. I read about having too much empathy where you feel the emotions of others. So, if your workers aren't happy, you're not happy etc. This is not a healthy way to live. Either I need to lessen my empathy or take a non managerial role which means less money for me. All this to say, I understand exactly how are you are feeling. I have 9 more years and wonder if I will stay on this track or choose to pursue something else.