No Financial Aid if One parent is not working?

[Anonymous]

I read a post on another thread that suggested that schools will typically deny financial aid to a family if one parent is not working (by choice, obviously). I am a lawyer who left a low-paying government job to stay home with my children since I was netting about 50 bucks a week after childcare. I do plan to go back to work someday, but not for the next few years, and definitely not to a big firm with a big salary. Despite the fact that DH makes a good salary at a firm, private school tuition is going to be a stretch, if at all possible. We certainly would not expect anywhere near a full-ride, but even a small remittance would help. Anyone out there have a sense of 1) whether it is true that one non-working parent disqualifies you from financial aid, and 2) what are the upper limits on income where you can ask for financial aid (and does this somehow count against you if you do).

Thanks in advance for keeping snarky or flame posts to a minimum. I appreciate the fact that this is a sensitive topic.

[Anonymous]

SAH parentdom doesn't disqualify you. However, a healthy amount of income will be attributed to you under the formula.

It's all a big, complicated formula, with dozens of factors, including equity in your home -- so there is no absolute HHI ceiling. You can imagine a situation where the HHI is, let's say, $350K and they also have 7 children in private school and they're additionally housing an ailing grandparent and paying his/her non-Medicare medical costs.

[Anonymous]

To all those moms who aren't "working" - You absolutely are working.... you're just not getting paid for it. And it's often the hardest work out there.

Please help others understand and appreciate your value by either saying you're not in the paid labor force or that your full-time career is at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all those moms who aren't "working" - You absolutely are working.... you're just not getting paid for it. And it's often the hardest work out there.

Please help others understand and appreciate your value by either saying you're not in the paid labor force or that your full-time career is at home.

Go start your own topic.

[Anonymous]

It's a valid point 17:28 makes. Women have to stop devalueing themselves by employing words that belittle their efforts.

I, for one, get sad when a good friend, with 2 small children and a needy husband, runs herself into the ground taking care of the family, the house, 2 sets of parents and volunteering at school. She then says she doesn't "work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all those moms who aren't "working" - You absolutely are working.... you're just not getting paid for it. And it's often the hardest work out there.

Please help others understand and appreciate your value by either saying you're not in the paid labor force or that your full-time career is at home.

Go start your own topic.

Thank you for your valuable contribution.

[Anonymous]

It depends how old your children are.

It is my understanding that private schools will look at the family of any child applying for financial aid and evaluate if there is a "Need" for a parent to stay home. So if you have a toddler they will possibly say that you are staying home to raise your child who is not yet old enough for school.

If all of your children are elementary school aged and you are staying at home and asking for financial aid they may look at it and think - get a job if you want to send your child to private school.

[Anonymous]

While I sympathize, I'm also a lawyer, likely facing many of the same issues OP and most others are. While I'm happy that my tuition and donation dollars will help those who are not reasonably able to afford private school, I really don't want my dollars spent subsidizing a SAHM lawyer. Really, is this what financial aid is for, to enable someone perfectly capable to working in the government (or, presumably in the private sector) to choose not to so that her academic and professional peers can help pay for her kids to go top school? I'm not at all opposed to SAHMs, and have been one off and on, but once you have an earning potential, I think it's really hard to ask for hand-outs. While this may not be fair given that lots of SAHMS don't have earning potential because they either went into professions that don't pay much by choice (often less than childcare costs) or because they simply blew off school, it really gets me that another lawyer would be asking for others (whether donors or current parents) to pay for this. Aid is for people in need, not in want.

[Anonymous]

PP, I totally agree with you and I am a SAHM.

OP, without knowing more particulars about your situation (and I am not being nosey and asking, either) I would say that it is HIGHLY unlikely your family would qualify for FA, particularly for the first child since that would be the only private tuition you would have. I say this because (1) the schools will indeed impute a salary to you since you have the ability to work but choose not to and (2) your husband's salary as a lawyer, even if he is employed by the government will be too high even on its own for aid. If you have any equity in your home or non-retirement savings, that only decreases your chances. FA really is for people who could never send their child to private, even if they truly scrimped and moved to a smaller house, etc. It does not reflect on you as a person ... I have nothing against lawyers! But private school really is a want, not a need, so if you want it then you need to make appropriate financial choices. Good luck ... I know it isn't easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I sympathize, I'm also a lawyer, likely facing many of the same issues OP and most others are. While I'm happy that my tuition and donation dollars will help those who are not reasonably able to afford private school, I really don't want my dollars spent subsidizing a SAHM lawyer. Really, is this what financial aid is for, to enable someone perfectly capable to working in the government (or, presumably in the private sector) to choose not to so that her academic and professional peers can help pay for her kids to go top school? I'm not at all opposed to SAHMs, and have been one off and on, but once you have an earning potential, I think it's really hard to ask for hand-outs. While this may not be fair given that lots of SAHMS don't have earning potential because they either went into professions that don't pay much by choice (often less than childcare costs) or because they simply blew off school, it really gets me that another lawyer would be asking for others (whether donors or current parents) to pay for this. Aid is for people in need, not in want.

OP here. By your reasoning, if you have "earning potential" you shouldn't be able to stay home to take care of your small children. That's absurd, and frankly, a sad comment on priorities. And, how is my choice to stay home for awhile rather than practice law any different from someone else's choice to become a teacher or or work at a nonprofit or in the public sector in jobs that are not high-paying? By your reasoning, they're not maximizing their earning potential either. But I would guess you'd have no problem (nor would I) with their applying for financial aid. Perhaps you just have an issue with educated women choosing to stay home. At any rate, thanks for your comment.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree that SAHM moms work very hard. However, the schools you apply to may see this from a more limited financial perspective.

Especially since even a *really* low government lawyer job pays, what, $90K? I'm not familiar with the GS-12 range these days, but that's probably what you're giving up (versus the higher paying GS-13 to GS-15, which is most government lawyers in DC). This is money that you are foregoing, and the school may ask why this is worth it. As one parent asked, are you staying home to care for a toddler?

[Anonymous]

19:25 here again. Of course, if they don't know you're a lawyer, then maybe they won't be making comparisons like this.

[Anonymous]

Here is info from GDS on the topic:
Q. Must both parents be employed to receive financial aid from GDS?
A. If all of your children are in school, GDS generally expects both parents to work outside of the home. However, we do understand that there may be unusual circumstances which make doing so impossible. In those circumstances, the Financial Aid Committee may award aid

[Anonymous]

"By your reasoning, if you have "earning potential" you shouldn't be able to stay home to take care of your small children. That's absurd, and frankly, a sad comment on priorities."

I don't think anyone's saying not to stay home with your young children if that's what you want to do. They're saying they agree with a hypothetical private school that chooses to allocate limited financial aid dollars to families where both parents are working outside the home. I.e., where someone has income potential but chooses not to generate income, these posters say that person can't then expect to receive a lower price (on a car or a TV or a private school education) than people with income potential who are generating income.

In order to have a chance of getting financial aid, you don't need to debate "priorities" here, you need to do your research and find a school which has a policy under which you could potentially qualify. From the responses so far it doesn't sound like posting here is going to be an easy shortcut to finding such a place.

[Anonymous]

A PP to whom OP responded here.

My priorities are just fine, and nothing in my post (nor in my life) would indicate that I'm opposed to SAHM-dom. As I've mentioned, I've been a SAHM myself, and may be a SAHM again. Stay at home all you want, I could not care less. I just don't want to help pay for your kid to go to private school. As I mentioned, I understand that you may think that my view is unfair since others have self-selected not to have earning potential, and I think that that's true to a limited extent. But that's really arguing that you should be able to take advantage of the system because some other people do as well.

To be clear, I think it both good for schools, and simply the right thing to do, to provide aid for those who do not have other reasonable alternatives for paying tuiition. I also think it's a good thing for a school to attempt to have families whose parents are engaged in different types of professions or who otherwise have varied interests (whoch can sometimes be reflected in lower compensation) that can add to the life of the school. Absent unusual circumstances that you haven't disclosed, though, I really don't think that DC private schools need to be dipping into financial aid funds to subsidize a SAHM lawyer's choice to stay home. I have nothing against your wanting to stay home, I just don't want to pay for it.