feeling kind of depressed

[Anonymous]

Yesterday was a woman I work with's wedding anniversary. Her husband sent her a beautiful flower arrangement. Someone stopped by and congratulated her on her anniversary and they got to talking. She said one of her favorite parts of her relationship was how they had grown up together...they met when they where 18 and are now in their 40s. She said she loved seeing how they had both become better people due to each other and had also seen the other grow into a wonderful person on their own.

I'm 25 and single and it made me feel really sad that I'll never have this opportunity. IF I ever find someone, I probably won't get married till my 30s at this point.

[Anonymous]

You need a vacation with your friends! Go out, and have fun. You have your whole ahead of you. People who marry in their 30s and 40s still get to grow old with each other and experience all the great things life has to offer, together. Don't focus on what other's are doing. Cheer up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday was a woman I work with's wedding anniversary. Her husband sent her a beautiful flower arrangement. Someone stopped by and congratulated her on her anniversary and they got to talking. She said one of her favorite parts of her relationship was how they had grown up together...they met when they where 18 and are now in their 40s. She said she loved seeing how they had both become better people due to each other and had also seen the other grow into a wonderful person on their own.

I'm 25 and single and it made me feel really sad that I'll never have this opportunity. IF I ever find someone, I probably won't get married till my 30s at this point.

It might seem like a long time but you have so much to look forward to

Have courage and be kind. Remember to have complete control over whether to have sex or not You are a lucky person!

When it seems like the night will last forever,
And there's nothing left to do but count the years,
When the strings of my heart begin to sever,
And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears,
I will walk alone, by the black muddy river,
And dream me a dream of my own,
I will walk alone, by the black muddy river,
And sing me a song of my own, sing me a song of my own.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of negatives to settling down so soon. DH and I were high school sweethearts and are still very much in love, but I feel like we’ve missed out on a lot because we started so young. The grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

I remember at twenty-five, being single felt like the kiss of death.

I felt like a nobody if I didn’t have a man by my side.

20+ years later, I realized that it was a waste of time envying others seemingly good fortune = Being in a relationship.

I would view happy-looking couples in public & envy their perfect lives together.

It wasn’t until I was older that I realized that the perfect couple, marriage, whatever doesn’t exist.

No one in any romantic relationship comes out unscathed.
No one.

Everybody plays the fool.
There are no exceptions to the rule.

[Anonymous]

You can still grow together in this way if you marry in your thirties (and beyond), absolutely. Most people don’t marry their high school sweethearts, and it’s certaibky not a prerequisite to a fulfilling marriage.

[Anonymous]

Your 20s should be about discovering yourself, not settling down. Travel, try new jobs, take risks, have fun. Find out who you are as a person. Maybe you’ll find you’re happy solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday was a woman I work with's wedding anniversary. Her husband sent her a beautiful flower arrangement. Someone stopped by and congratulated her on her anniversary and they got to talking. She said one of her favorite parts of her relationship was how they had grown up together...they met when they where 18 and are now in their 40s. She said she loved seeing how they had both become better people due to each other and had also seen the other grow into a wonderful person on their own.

I'm 25 and single and it made me feel really sad that I'll never have this opportunity. IF I ever find someone, I probably won't get married till my 30s at this point.

I started dating my husband at 25, we were married by the time I was 28. And I'm older than your friend. It seems impossible right now because your friends are getting married, it is all around, but try to do YOU and you'll make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 20s should be about discovering yourself, not settling down. Travel, try new jobs, take risks, have fun. Find out who you are as a person. Maybe you’ll find you’re happy solo.

Yes, this. I’m glad I waited until my early 30’s to get married, and if I could go back, I would have dated, travelled, and moved around a lot more.

[Anonymous]

I never wanted to marry young so I can't really relate to your feelings OP, but generally I know you shouldn't let your "depression" over this stick around for long. You have no reason to believe you won't marry and have a happy, fulfilling relationship, even if it is a bit different than your colleague's.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I didn't find each other until I was in my late 30's and he was 42. We've been together for almost 9 years now. He is truly the one for me. Every other romantic relationship in my life was just leading up to the real thing. We have something so strong that it almost feels spiritual....I can't describe it. We were just talking about it last night, how deep the feeling goes for each other. It may have taken years, but they weren't wasted years. We had interests, careers (he's retired now, and is starting another career), and we've had a lot of fun, so now we get to have fun together. Don't waste your life by thinking of what could be. Enjoy it, and the right thing will come along when it's time.

[Anonymous]

I got married young, but TBH some of the most unhealthy marriages I know are where they met and got married young. Like PPs said, your 20s should be about finding yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 20s should be about discovering yourself, not settling down. Travel, try new jobs, take risks, have fun. Find out who you are as a person. Maybe you’ll find you’re happy solo.

Yes, this. I’m glad I waited until my early 30’s to get married, and if I could go back, I would have dated, travelled, and moved around a lot more.

This. I got married at 30 and it was too early for me. I’ve changed a lot since then and now we aren’t really that compatible.

I would kill to go back to my 20s and live life more.

[Anonymous]

OP, for every person I know who met their husband at 18 and is still together, there are two I know who met their husband at 18 and are divorced and on their 2nd or 3rd marriage.

I think it's wonderful that it's worked out for your coworker, but her experience is not universal. You're actually at a really good age right now - you are getting to live life on your own and relying on yourself. When you do find the right guy - whether it's tomorrow or 10 years from now, the years you spent on your own will not have been a waste. Plenty of my friends found love in their 30's and 40's, and with people living a really long time, you could still have a very long marriage.

[Anonymous]

I think comparing yourself and your life to anyone else's is generally speaking not going to lead to positive results.

It's very important to be happy or sad for other people but to understand we are all very different. What makes one person happy is not what makes another person happy. Even if you had what she has, there's no reason to think it'd have the result on you that it has on her.

We all have things in our own lives that are great. You need to get focused on those things.